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Original poster

To consider a new role for £20k increase but long commute

64 replies

BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 21:49

Hello everyone

I currently have a great job at the moment. Money is good, 20-30 min commute with me being in the office three days a week. We have a gym onsite so I manage to get my workouts in. Very flex in that if I need to do pick up or drop offs I can. I have two DC - 2 and 4. DD will start reception next September. There are cons in that hours can be long but I can log off and log back on when needed. It’s not always intense just for certain periods of the year. I have good colleagues generally too.

I’ve been offered a job with a £20k increase but the commute time is double. So it would be 45/1 hour. They also require 3 days a week in the office. It’s a more senior role - so I suspect more work?

DH is a consultant so will work wherever his client is based. So the flex quite often falls to me to do drop off and pick up.

What would you do? Stay put or consider the new job? Is it doable with young children? My gut says it’s a great role and would be great for my career but probably not doable with the children being so young and about to head into school.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
justasking111 · 10/10/2024 22:37

I remember a child at school, never met the mother, granny or sister in law picked up the children. There was no-one around for play dates, parties, school events. The child couldn't do swim club etc.

It's a lot to think about.

Toohardtofindaproperusername · 10/10/2024 22:36

BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 21:49

Hello everyone

I currently have a great job at the moment. Money is good, 20-30 min commute with me being in the office three days a week. We have a gym onsite so I manage to get my workouts in. Very flex in that if I need to do pick up or drop offs I can. I have two DC - 2 and 4. DD will start reception next September. There are cons in that hours can be long but I can log off and log back on when needed. It’s not always intense just for certain periods of the year. I have good colleagues generally too.

I’ve been offered a job with a £20k increase but the commute time is double. So it would be 45/1 hour. They also require 3 days a week in the office. It’s a more senior role - so I suspect more work?

DH is a consultant so will work wherever his client is based. So the flex quite often falls to me to do drop off and pick up.

What would you do? Stay put or consider the new job? Is it doable with young children? My gut says it’s a great role and would be great for my career but probably not doable with the children being so young and about to head into school.

Any thoughts?

Always listen to your gut .. you job sounds good for you atm.

And..m did you apply for the job? Sonits been offered to you in that context ..so you were looking? Do u work in a field whwre the opportunity will be there in 2-3 years? This time goes by really really fast... 2 years is nothing in the bugger scheme of things.

Wondering about bigger context as others say.....

Enjoy the dilemma tho..amd may e use it as leverage or confidence booster for cureent work if you can

writingsonthewall · 10/10/2024 22:34

Sounds like you've very much talked yourself out of it. Which is fine. That's prob the answer then.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 10/10/2024 22:34

Depends how much of a % increase £20k is, I’m on £40k so that would be a 50% payrise which I’d be mad not to take for the sake of a longer commute. If you’re already on £200k and financially secure or if your DH brings home a lot so you have a high joint income then maybe a £20k increase won’t be worth having less time with the kids, less flexibility and more stress. What will you do with the extra income and how much will it improve your standard of living?

Comedycook · 10/10/2024 22:32

Depends on how much you need an extra 20k imo

Original poster
BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 22:31

maddening · 10/10/2024 22:28

Have you got the option to move closer to work? (Also if the schools in the new area are equal in quality to your current ones)

Moving isn’t an option. We love our home and are very settled in the area. Maybe in a few years time but right now we love where we are.

OP posts:
Justasmallgless · 10/10/2024 22:31

I had opportunities when children were small but made conscious decision not to go for promotion. DH was working away a lot and no family support. I was working shifts which was difficult juggling it all.

However we switched about 10 years ago and I've had a couple of promotions and love my work.
It's been tough but weigh up the benefits v impact on you all.

Only one word of advice that you never get this time back with them again. The trite instagram posts about never knowing when it's the last time they hold your hand walking to school etc are true.

It's nice to have options!

Original poster
BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 22:30

Janetheplain · 10/10/2024 22:29

Could you negotiate wfh 3 days a week, this would then even out the longer commute?

I tried this but they just offered more money. 2 days would be the DREAM!

OP posts:
Janetheplain · 10/10/2024 22:29

Could you negotiate wfh 3 days a week, this would then even out the longer commute?

jelliebelly · 10/10/2024 22:28

I'd go for it - if it doesn't work out you could look for something else but why give up the opportunity without giving it a go? More money, interesting role, still WFH 2 days pw and all for an extra 1 hr commute. Mine are older teens now and it was much easier working full time when they were little and didn't need ferrying about all over the place.

maddening · 10/10/2024 22:28

Have you got the option to move closer to work? (Also if the schools in the new area are equal in quality to your current ones)

Original poster
BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 22:27

justasking111 · 10/10/2024 22:25

Yep do the salary calculator to work out your nett increase in pay. Then calculate travel costs - that from nett pay.

If you and your husband are away from home who will collect a sick child. Do you have a family support network?

Show quote history

Sorry forgot to add that. No one local to us. My mum is 1 hour away so no good either.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 10/10/2024 22:25

Icanttakethisanymore · 10/10/2024 22:21

What are you being paid now? This is important in evaluating the impact of a 20k pay rise.

Yep do the salary calculator to work out your nett increase in pay. Then calculate travel costs - that from nett pay.

If you and your husband are away from home who will collect a sick child. Do you have a family support network?

Crikeyalmighty · 10/10/2024 22:23

Depends- would it be driving or train as commuting costs can be really hefty even for a few days a week and wipe out some of that gain- along with tax/Ni etc you might find you end up only £600 or so a month better off but more hassle and a more stressful role and it depends if you want that at this stage- only you know that

Original poster
BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 22:23

PlantDoctor · 10/10/2024 22:19

It's interesting to read your post because I'm looking at two potential jobs (one remote, one with a 35-55 min drive depending how flexible they are with start times). When I read your post I thought definitely stay flexible with little kids. Then I thought well that answers my question too! (If I were to receive offers from both, that is!)

Good luck!!! I hope you get the one you want.

OP posts:
Original poster
BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 22:22

Shortpoet · 10/10/2024 22:18

Any chance of getting a more senior role where you are now?

No. That’s one problem. It’s a huge team and already filled with more senior players. If they do make me senior it won’t be for a good 5 years… if that!

OP posts:
Icanttakethisanymore · 10/10/2024 22:21

What are you being paid now? This is important in evaluating the impact of a 20k pay rise.

Original poster
BubblinTrouble · 10/10/2024 22:21

Didimum · 10/10/2024 22:17

My commute is 1.5hrs 3 days a week, which I’ve done ever since going back to work full time when my twins were 6 months. They are 6yrs old now. I am only in office 9:30 to 4:45 though, and my DH works 30 mins away from home.

We have a nanny to help with the kids stability. Is that an option?

We talked about this being an option but I didn’t think it would work as I’d want DS to stay in nursery (he loves it) and then I’d only need a nanny for a few hours in the evening. I was under the impression this would be hard to find and a high turnover??

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 10/10/2024 22:20

Go for it - especially if DH has this idea to look for something more local. Sounds like the push he needs.

PlantDoctor · 10/10/2024 22:19

It's interesting to read your post because I'm looking at two potential jobs (one remote, one with a 35-55 min drive depending how flexible they are with start times). When I read your post I thought definitely stay flexible with little kids. Then I thought well that answers my question too! (If I were to receive offers from both, that is!)

Shortpoet · 10/10/2024 22:18

Any chance of getting a more senior role where you are now?

Didimum · 10/10/2024 22:17

My commute is 1.5hrs 3 days a week, which I’ve done ever since going back to work full time when my twins were 6 months. They are 6yrs old now. I am only in office 9:30 to 4:45 though, and my DH works 30 mins away from home.

We have a nanny to help with the kids stability. Is that an option?

Tiswa · 10/10/2024 22:16

i wouldn’t give up what I have for now given the age of your children unless it is a complete one off

given she is struggling with preschool I would be there until she is settled

Ponoka7 · 10/10/2024 22:16

I think that a work/life balance is more important than a pay rise, if, as another poster said, £20k, isn't a life changing amount. Once homework starts, your evenings go nowhere and that commute will make a big difference.

Elizo · 10/10/2024 22:16

i would say stay put. The primary years are quite tough with after school pick ups etc. An extra hour a day commute is a lot imo and can be stressful. However if this career progression matters to you I agree with others that you and DH need to split things up more

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