Comment about swaying at parents evening

Yes - this is really common. It's far from ideal (but you can't blame the staff - they often get such hostility if they even dare to suggest there might be any possibility of ASD) so always worth following up and asking the difficult questions.

@amusedbush totally agree… I did very well at school academically, but socially couldn’t cope at all and had several suicide attempts and an eating disorder as a teenager. So in one way I might have seemed fine and coping well but that really wasn’t the case.

Ask for a referral to physio, we diagnose this all the time. There is a specific test for hypermobility called The Beighton Scale and a certain score diagnoses you as hypermobile. Specific strengthening exercises can help but need to be done daily to be effective

As kindly as possible, please don't say "high functioning". It's othering, it implies that some autistic people are "low functioning", and it belies the struggles that come with having lower support needs.

Autism is autism; you're either autistic or you're not, but the spectrum isn't linear and there are a million different presentations/levels of support needs. A lot of the time, what appears to be "high functioning" is actually someone masking as a way of fitting in, which is really exhausting and uncomfortable.

People have suggested that I am "high functioning" or that my autism is "mild" but my ability to function varies wildly depending on external factors. Autism, by nature, is disabling - that's how you get a diagnosis.

I hope this doesn't read as rude or attacking ❤

When my dd1 was in nursery they asked if we had ever noticed how she runs. I had but I didn't know it was unusual. She was our first child, however the teacher was around a number of same.aged children so could pick up. on things like this. It triggered me to take more notice of things my dd was struggling with and once we gained a.picture self refer to physio. She struggled with loud noises, such as the blender or firework and although is fine with them now. She didn't want to go see Taylor Swift when my friend offered tickets as she felt the music would be too loud for her. We have an appointment with a paediatrician next week too. We love her, accept her 100% for who she is but of there are areas she needs support and a teacher or hcp sees it then we would be doing her a disservice by not acting on it.

It's easy to get worried and on the defensive as your child is so young yet however it's just something to keep an eye on. I shared the above just so you could see that school for us picked up on something that helped build a picture and act as a catalyst for us.

Honestly, my teenager has always swayed from side to side and has displayed a lot of autistic tendencies such as having huge sensory issues and just generally behaviour like that. But it barely affects her and nobody else ever suspects that she could have it. If she does, it's high functioning I suppose because she is incredibly academically gifted as well as in other areas compared to her other siblings.

This chimes with myself. I have never been able to stand still as my knees/ hips become really painful. Have to keep shifting my weight from foot to foot and keep moving my hips. Been like this for as long as I can remember.

I've never managed to get any kind of diagnosis for the painful and unstable joints I have suffered from all my life, GPs just do X-rays and say all looks normal then try to prescribe me antidepressants. However, I've recently been looking into hyper mobility syndrome and I do seem to have a lot of the symptoms. No idea how to go about getting diagnosis and treatment though.

She sounds like a really lovely little girl. Try not to worry. I'd go back to speak to the woman again, if I were you.

Tbh my son didn’t get his Autism diagnosis until he was 9. When he did I mentioned to his nursery teacher when we saw her at a community event. She told me that she had suspected but hadn’t like to say. Honestly - it would have been incredibly helpful if she had and would have saved him (and us) a lot of stress if he got an earlier diagnosis and therefore earlier intervention and understanding in school. So if the teacher is trying to open the conversation - good for them for being brave!

My daughter received a diagnosis of autism at 2 when at nursery and is undergoing genetic testing and other things. I really wouldn't worry about just one comment, it could be that if it's only at nursery and she does it at a certain time, how can they support her at that time etc

The reason they are asking this is because for a behaviour to potentially indicate a concern around ASD, it has to be what they refer to as 'pervasive' - so present to some extent in a variety of different environments. Any assessment asks for information from both family and nursery/school. If you haven't noticed it at all at home, it's likely that the swaying is linked to something at pre school which she is adjusting to, its a comforting sensation. Or it's something she does when she is really concentrating - my oldest does this to help her focus.

Them asking is a good thing, it's shows they are paying close attention and tuning into the children's needs, they are keen to engage with you as the people who know her best.

Is she hypermobile? It's really hard to stand still if you are. You do tend to get a bit of a rock from hip to hip going on.

My dgs hates loud noises, slimy food, certain clothing.
All sensory things.
He's 12 now and has no diagnosis that I know of.
If he is autistic then he’s high functioning.
As a small dc it was much more noticeable.

Ok so it is something that has been at the back of your head. Again, those can be common traits of kids that age , or something else. DD was similar at that age(still kinda is) and I'm still not sure what's what and she's 13!!

My suggestion would be to make a list of all your concerns (on paper so easier to keep track and express yourself) , any behaviours that worry you and ask for another meeting with the teacher. Put your cards on the table, see what they have noticed , what is their opinion?
Then go from there.

I just realised I didn't really answer the question! We started noticing as she got older that she didn't seem to pick up at all on emotions. I lost a family member when she was around 9 and I said please be good today because I'm struggling. She didn't get why that was and then I caught her trying to force tears out by squeezing her eyes. I spoke to school and they said they would get an educational psychiatrist in. I was pretty shocked when they felt she did have autism though!! In secondary school it became much more apparent.

My daughter was always very hyper. Full on all the time and we had to take her out often because keeping her in was impossible for a many years until she learnt to read! She would watch Human Planet and Blue Planet on repeat where other children watched Disney! She would always be the last to come out of school and the last to get dressed after PE etc. School questioned her hearing and sight because she was always away in the clouds yet she could answer questions. And there were an awful lot of clothes / shoes she wouldn't wear because of how they felt. So many small things really that didn't make us feel anything was majorly different. Things haven't been easy at times but she is now at university and thriving so it doesn't have to be a huge issue.

You could make an appointment with the GP and ask them for advice. They can refer for assessment if they think it's appropriate, and they can also check for a physical cause.

Whether she is autistic or not she's still the same lovely girl she was before parents evening OP. Any diagnosis would only be to help her with any support she might need and doesn't change who she is anyway. I know it's worrying but if you think about it the "truth" about her changes nothing about how or who she is or her lovely relationship with you.

Do you have any other concerns/suspicions about autism? Is it something that was at the back of your mind anyway?

You are overthinking this. All they did was ask if you’d seen a similar behaviour that they had witnessed at home. It is their job to support your child with anything that might be causing them any discomfort and they can do that best if there is open communication between them and you.

Ask. They might have been hinting at autism, or a phyical disability, or anxiety. Or they might have just been asking.