MIL strikes again

You are being unreasonable. Germs are very quick to spread from children, not to mention how an older person would handle a simple cold differently to that of a child. I remember my son having a sniffle with a slight temp when he was about 18 months old. I kept him off nursery as he wasn’t well and didn’t want it passing to his nursery friends or staff. It’s just polite and kids want their parents when they are under the weather. My mum and MIL came round for cuddles against my wishes and whatever they caught from my son floored them both for weeks. Son was over it in 48hrs but they didn’t fair the same at all.

I've only read OP's posts so this has probably been mentioned but I'm nearly positive her step MIL posted her a couple of weeks ago.

It's not a case of being judged, it is a case of being so selfish that you have put your dad and step mum out by making them rearrange a playdate with the other grandchild. Apart from that you have put them both at risk of getting the cold and depending on their health and age could be seriously ill.
You sound like such a high maintenance spoiled brat.
I would love to know what your in laws think of you, especially as you took thier childcare away from them.
Not to mention your child was ill and you or your partner should have taken time to actually be there for them.

My husband and I both hold senior positions, have no grandparents to save us money (you are massivly taking the piss there by the way) but we take the time to care for and cuddle our babies when they need us.
It sounds like it is time you grew up and think of other people for a change.

Wait the kid is 10 months old?! And is not 100% and you’re shipping them off? Wow that is questionable parenting. I didn’t leave mine overnight till they were 3 let alone not feeling great. They’re a baby!!!!

You are being very very unreasonable towards your mil and taking her for granted.
Your child is ill, take the day off!

YABU. They already have your DC overnight to help you out so why shouldn’t they spend time alone with their other grandchild? If your DC is unwell I 100% guarantee you all they will want is you or your DP and not their grandparents. You are also BU to expect them to have him when he has a cold and risk passing it to them or the other grandchild. Just have a day off work or WFH

OP I hope this thread makes you realise that you're lucky to have your step MIL who provides free childcare. She is under no obligation to do so. You seem extremely entitled and ungrateful versus this woman. I hope this thread is a wake up call to start appreciating all the help you get and SHOW HER YOUR APPRECIATION.

That's actually really nice of her to say, but you shouldn't take your DC. Your in-laws might get sick and that's not fair.

My mother regularly stays with us, but I've stopped her coming this week because the children are full of cold and I don't want her to catch it. She isn't very elderly, but it would still hit her hard. I also wouldn't take them to my in-laws either.

Do you think maybe this irritated you more than it should have because your relationship is already fraught? I'm sure your MIL isn't judging you, but it can feel like that when people question your decisions about your child. They usually only mean well though.

I hope the responses to your post haven't upset you. I'm sure you're not selfish, it was just a reaction to a difficult situation and a relationship which is already difficult. I hope your little one is better soon.

wow
somyou moaned about her … yet she cancelled her own grandchild’s visit so she could help you out and look after a child that isn’t technically even her GC? She sounds good to me!
and honestly people do question EVERY thing you do with your kids… you need to get a thicker skin because honestly it gets harder as they get older

If there wouldn't be her granddaughter/son, then I would understand you still ask for that. But you need to understand that nobody wants a child to catch a cold. After Covid things got worse, even the cold is not necessarily just a cold and it's very annoying for a child to catch it and for the person who's taking care for him. I don't know how well you get along with your MIL in general, but this time she's right. I think you must find a way to take time off for your sick child, it's a sacrifice parents need to do.

A nursery or a childminder wouldn't have them if they're sick, so the GPs shouldn't either.

Baby needs to be comfortable, at home.

I completely understand the frustration, OP. It's hard being a working parent.

She isn't even her partners mother, she is his stepmother. Why should she cancel her own grandchild to care for a sick child.

Gosh you sound awful!

I am so glad you’re not my daughter in law OP you sound extremely selfish and not a nice person at all.

Did she have to cancel having her own grandchild over just to stop you from having a tantrum? I don’t usually side with the MIL but you are being really entitled and bratty. I would go nuts if I’d arranged for my child to spend one on one time with their grandma and then another child with a cold came to share their germs. Your selfishness meant that either a) MIL had to cancel seeing her own grandchild or b) you’ve spread a cold to your dad and MIL, her grandchild and their family. Just because you’re too tight to pay for professional childcare. And you had the audacity to pop off at your MIL for it!

I expected to be siding with the OP about her horrid MIL… the reality is I feel dreadfully sorry for the in-laws and think the OP is selfish and entitled.

Not everyone wants to catch your child’s germs… and why is your child more important than time with her other grandchild?
You are being so unbelievably unreasonable, but you strike me as someone who either doesn’t care, or think the world revolves around you and yours so no doubt you will pay no attention to the hundreds of posters telling you how unreasonable you are being.

True but when you give birth to an almost 11 pounder and they are relentlessly hungry you are often advised to wean early. Also a recommendation for earlier solids is fine if you baby is formula fed as the gut flora is different to those of breastfed babies. I didn’t know this myself until recently when a scientist friend told me.

IANAMIL but YABVVU

Know EXACTLY how that feels 🙄

‘MIL strikes again?’ I’m not a MIL but this has really pissed me off. The OP is an ungrateful brat.

I started him on solids at 4 months, and she questioned this, We've put him in his own room, she's questioned this!

Right so you are entitled and also a know it all happy to disregard accepted health care advice when it comes to the health and safety of your baby....

Wow. Late to the thread, but wow.

I look after my grandchildren v regularly; that's my choice, I offered, and I don't want my DD to struggle for childcare as I did when she was little

But when DD and DGD were both poorly I caught their bugs and being older, it turned into pneumonia. I was ill for months and it's taken me nearly a year to fully recover. And in not even a chesty person normally!

I don't blame the MIL in the slightest for her hesitancy here. OP, you'll not get the childcare if she's too poorly to look after your DS, having caught something from him.

"Send" him? You mean impose on in laws for more free childcare when they're unhappy about taking an unwell child?

She's right about both issues. I'm surprised you haven't followed guidance on this.

This! What an extraordinary level of entitlement!