MIL strikes again

And is not even her son or GC! She's a step mom! The OP didn't say anything about her actual MIL, so we don't know if she's around/still here in the first place. So poor step MIL to deal with this!

This is awful. I just don't even know where to start!

The title. 🙄🙄

The "we have to drop him off and then they drive him back". Too right you should drop him off. You should pick him up too. Not only are they having an infant overnight regularly (you said they've done this a few times this month!!) they are then driving forty minutes to yours and forty minutes back to theirs again every time the next morning!!!!

And you are snarky about her and have zero gratitude for what a HUGE thing she's doing for you. 😢😡 I really feel for her.

I also feel sad for your 10 month old who was absolutely full of cold, and sent away overnight when one of you should have stayed home with them.

Also, if you don't want to be judged about decisions that statistically put your baby at risk, you need to be self sufficient. Not rely on overnight family care that probably know about your decisions as you expect them to carry them out too when you're not there. If I had a relative ask me to feed their four month old solids and put them in a separate room I'd be vocal about it too. 🙄

You need to take a long hard look in the mirror.

It’s all already been said quite eloquently BUT you are choosing not to hear OP.
So you still decided to absolve yourself of your responsibilities and send your sick child to someone else regardless of being told time and time again that’s not right on this forum.
Even then your attitude is not one of gratitude towards your PIL - not a single acknowledgement.
You then go on to say you will not be questioned in the manner of an entitled, spoilt child. I feel so, so sorry for your kind, helpful mother in law having you to deal with.

OP says they have relied on GPs more this month because of work so it’s not exactly a prior arrangement if they’re having the DC more than arranged is it? OP just sounds entitled expecting GPs to look after her sick child and put off having their other GC because she doesn’t want to take the time off work to look after them

Your baby should t be at your mother in laws or with your nephew/niece when sick. You sound unbelievably entitled. Take (paid or unpaid) time off work like all other parents do when their (hideously expensively paid) childcare won't take their sick kids

Sorry, I wanted to be nice to you in my previous post, but every comment you make it's showing how arrogant you are. I'm not commenting on your weaning and sleeping decisions, but 'You will take on board, that you will need to take time off work!' Did you fall from the Moon? Is this your baby or your step mil's? When did it hit your head that you should take time off when your baby's sick??? After your mil told your, or after hundreds of mother here telling you how unbelievebly poor judgment of the situation you have? What a mother need to be told, she should take time off for her sick child, because it didn't even occur into her head to do so?
I wouldn't judge you if you come here saying: I tried everything, but they told me at work I can not take my day off and my husband can not either. I can not get another child care, so I had to ask my mil. And I know she will have to cancel her own GC for that as I don't want the baby to get sick. I feel so bad about it. What to do?'
But you are full of yourself. Your lack of empathy is amazing. Hope your child won't turn out like you.

My kid has a cold all bloody winter - he doesnt feel ill his nose just runs and he coughs. If the arrangement was to care for your child she should cancel the other one, not yours! Can’t believe so many ppl think youre unreasonable here! However they are right in saying MIL can do what she likes as she isnt paid & is doing you a favour!

MIL strikes again? By not wanting your poorly child overnight? Of course the poorly child should have stayed home and not the healthy one. You come across as so entitled, would you be able to work if someone didn't look after your child for free overnight and drive them back to you?

@Milkmani8 "True but when you give birth to an almost 11 pounder and they are relentlessly hungry you are often advised to wean early."

Advised by who? Presumably not HCPs....

She might be worried additional it's flu or covid or something as it's seasonal and children typically just get cold symptoms. She's elderly, it would most likely be worse for her and grandad 🤷🏻‍♀️

People won't have as much opportunity to judge you OP if you actually parent your child and by that meaning taking care of them when they are sick. Should have been the first consideration when deciding on having a child, if you can't afford time off to look after them when they are sick. Like others said, if your child is sick you shouldn't really be sending them to grandparents to get them sick anyway and having the audacity to complain about your step MIL who is regularly doing you a favour.

Your tone of voice also when you say MIL wanted to spend some quality time with her own biological grandchild. Oh goodness. Why should she prioritise your sick child over her biological grandchild time when you obviously rate your kid second best to your work? Entitlement is off the charts here. They say sons marry their mothers so looking forward to having a DIL like how you treat others.

You're the parent, look after your baby!

You sound completely entitled and thought that because there are a lot of complaints about MILs on mumsnet , you would put your two bobs worth in . Only in this case you are not justified . I hope you appreciate what they do for you both . You sound jealous of their other dgc . Even to mention how you have to drop your child off seems like you are doing them a favour. Change your attitude. Believe me, you’ve got a lot to learn .

I get you. My parents live in my home country. My husband's parents in his. And we are both foreigners where we live.
I got sick from my little one this year, he was sick for a week and fine after one round of antibiotics. I got sick in between being awake with him at nights, him having 39.2°C. I got my antibiotics, one week better, next week worse, another round. 2 inhalers I was prescribed, I was coughing so much I was throwing up. It took me a month to heal. And it happened just when my husband went home for the whole month. So we were both sick and alone. Luckily my neighbour and a good friend helped me with food and medicine shopping. I have nobody around but friends I made since I moved here. And I feel very lucky. I'm grateful regardless.
And just to add-he just turned 2 at the time and he's never still, can climb to anything, talking lots and want entertainment and all I needed was to have an hour of sleep. But you're a parent, so...
Dear OP- get real!

It’s not about being judged over feeding. It’s about disregarding advice from well researched scientists about long term gut health for your child. Many things are parents choice, many others are solid scientifically researched facts published for your child’s best interests. No health professional is out to make parent life harder, or make you get less sleep, they just want the best for you baby.

Well said.

I would consider my partner and I good parents (and good people) but we got something terribly wrong in the first few days after my son came home from hospital. If we hadn't spoken to a midwife lord knows what might have happened.

She's right to question your poor parenting decisions. Starting your baby on solids at 4 months old is not ok, you could have caused long-term gut damage. Babies feed a lot more at 4 months as there is a massive growth spurt, so he just needed more milk, not arsenic filled baby rice. As for putting him in his own room so young, that's also a poor decision. Perhaps you should listen to her instead of thinking you know better, when you clearly don't. As for the post, you sound entitled and again, a poor decision maker.

That's simply not true. If it were every child would be given the optimum upbringing. When in reality far too many are harmed by the poor and irresponsible choices of parents who either think they know it all or don't care. Sometimes it's only grandparents and other caring adults 'being very vocal' that stands between a child and parental harm and neglect. I'm not saying that's the case here, but to suggest the act of giving birth creates expertise, yet those who gave birth to the previous generation have no right to speak about the welfare of a child they love is wrong.

I think they would do too, but they already arranged for another grandchild to come and d they don't want them to get sick. Which is very reasonable.

i won't be judged on how i decide to feed my baby nor will i be judged on where my baby sleeps

If you go against expert guidelines, then of course you'll be judged. When I had my children the guidelines were to wean at 3/4 months, and although there were no problems, I know that guidance has changed, so would be surprised that a new mother would choose to totally ignore current guidance. It's usually the other way round where the older generation tell parents to feed a baby solids early, because that's what they did, so it's good that MIL is up to date.

The title suggests she has done something wrong but she sounds like she has done nothing wrong and you sound entitled.

This is very much the downside to having family help with childcare. Although you have someone who loves them providing support they usually believe that it gives them the right to an opinion & to be very vocal about it.
At the end of the day the parents are the experts on their child.

Yes, which is why I said 'I'm aware that some GPs recommend early weaning in some instances.'

I suspect the parents I have seen feeding their small babies (who can barely hold their heads up) pouches in public aren't the same ones who are seeking advice from their GP on weaning.

Tbh I think the responses are quite harsh! If you have a pre arranged agreement that they provide childcare for you and DH to work, then they should stick to what they've agreed. If the other GC was coming just for a play date I wouldn't have thought it's as much as a priority as the prior commitment they've made so that you can work, and can easily be rearranged if it was a social plan rather than a regular commitment for parents to provide for their family.
For a common cold I wouldn't expect to cancel - maybe if it was something more than that then yes, they need their parents. And obviously it depends if they are vulnerable and don't want to catch it themselves, which is understandable.
But then I'm speaking from someone who's parents often help out if my DC are unwell and off nursery so for me it seems odd that they want to cancel because of a cold.
Bad temperature or sickness bug etc obviously totally different but a cold? They get them every other week!

Probably an unpopular opinion though 😂

You are being a selfish a-hole, thinking only of yourself. And when the cousin gets sick, which he/she inevitably will, what then. What if that child's parents simply can't take leave either? It's people like you who give parents a bad name.