MIL strikes again

you are being unreasonable I know it’s frustrating when you need to take time off work but unfortunately no one wants a crabby unwell child even a grandchild how old are they could they be regretting the decision to have him overnight ?
is he hard work this age is a tough age separation anxiety teething and all the other lovely bugs/germs that come with this age
does he attend nursery? If not maybe that could be an option
hope little one is feeling better soon

If you use family / inlaws for regular childcare you are giving an opportunity comments on your parenting. My siblings have found this with our own parents.

Agreed.

I have help too and basically accept

A. Its on their terms oe when they fancy it
B. On their time, it's their rules snacks clothes etc.,*
C.they will have opnions on how you parent

• only exception to this is if it's dangerous

Your expectations are too high frankly.

You have to look after your child when he's not well. It's not fair to expose other people to germs when you don't need to, nor is it fair on the baby to drag them somewhere else when they should be snuggled up warm at home.

Wow you are ungrateful and entitled. A sick baby needs his parents not a sleepover with his GPs. Take a day off, this happens when you have kids.

weaning at 4 months is not recommended unless very specific medical issues.

your poor MIL providing free childcare and trying to be helpful.

Addressing your other points I think it’s fair that she has an opinion if she is having to be feeding them on her watch and they are also sleeping there so what you decide to do has an impact at her home as well, if she was visiting you and play with your child for a couple of hours then maybe she wouldn’t feel the need to express an opinion because it didn’t affect her. By the way you call her MIL for simplicity but she is your DP’s step mum so doesn’t have to do any childcare for you at all, take it up with your DP’s father don’t look to blame the woman in this. I think you have massively taken the piss by expecting her to have your child in addition to the regular time she does just cause it suits you, then you want her to have your child when they are not well. If I were her I’d be stopping the childcare altogether because you clearly don’t appreciate it and badmouth her when she doesn’t do exactly what you want.

Dear lord your whole post smacks of entitlement. ‘They live 40 mins away and WE HAVE TO DROP HIM OFF! The actual audacity of complaining that you have to bring your son to your free childcare instead of them also providing lifts. And we’ve HAD to ask for them to have him more this month, you abso-fucking-lutely didn’t! You could have found suitable childcare like the rest of us, instead of putting even more onto your already helpful in-laws. And btw you sound clueless with your baby weaning which could permanently fuck up your child’s digestive system, and the putting in their own room at a time when they’re susceptible for cot death, so no wonder your mil tried to look out for her grandchild, she clearly cares about his welfare more than you do!

Op - your MIL sounds more than fair to be honest, she looks after your child regularly......you sound in a very privileged position

They are signed up to look after a well child. He's poorly. It therefore becomes totally at their discretion and what they feel comfortable with. How would you feel if they both got dreadful colds from him?

I'm afraid with a kid you do sometimes have to be off work because of the child's illness. This is one of those times.

And it's not your step MIL being mean/favouritising her DD's child. She possibly partly had that child round to have a nice time and play with your DS. But no, she can't risk that child also getting ill.

In time you will see that actually work takes second place to child in certain situations.

It may be 'just a cold' but we have had some horrendous colds recently, I don't blame her for not wanting to look after your child. If you're sensitive about her questioning your decisions you really need to stop using her as free childcare.

You sound like a cold hearted cow tbh OP...

MIL strikes again at what? Being entirely reasonable and sensible by not wanting to have someone stay who's not well because she doesn't want the other people in the household to catch it?

Who do you even think you are?!

Is she really judging or just talking to you about your DC? You seem pretty sensitive about her.
But her voicing her opinions is one thing, her unwillingness to take your sick child for 24 hours plus is another thing entirely. Take the day off and look after your baby at home. They sound very accommodating to me! You’re very lucky to have them.

YABU and also very entitled and selfish. MiL is doing you a favour. And in return you don’t care if she and her GC get ill. I can’t believe anyone can be so lacking in self-awareness. Are you sure this isn’t a reverse now OP?

With as much politeness as I can muster OP, what on earth do you think the rest of us do?? We've had to juggle countless episodes of care leave/ unpaid leave when our DC's have had common illnesses, including colds. We don't have any local family at all so literally if nursery won't take them or if they're ill the buck stops with us!

It's rubbish, but your child- your responsibility!

Massively unreasonable. If you were using a nursery, not only would you not be able to send your child in, you'd still be charged for the privilege. So consider yourself lucky and sort out some parental leave.

No, you don’t send him off somewhere with a cold. Why would your MIL want to catch a cold, they are so irritating.

Pay for your own childcare then 🤷‍♀️

Is this a reverse? How has MIL struck "again". I don't think the questions about weaning and own room are judgemental, particularly as they have him overnight.

How long has this arrangement been going on for where your child is looked after by MIL whilst you're working?

You seem to be ultra sensitive to your MiL - is there any way that you are able to find alternative arrangements going forward for childcare so you don't have to rely on her?

Seriously! Advice for years has been 6 months weening and move into own bedroom beyond 1 year old - sorry but it's a you problem not MIL

I agree with this. It's a shock but when you have a baby there are loads of things you previously took for granted that you just can't do any more, at least for a while.

Please do look at your attitude towards parenting and put your child first. He's totally dependent on you.

She may have been unreasonable about other things (though I do wonder whether you are interpreting her interest and desire for chat as "judging") but she sounds as if she’s being totally reasonable about this. She has told you she will cancel her other grandchild if you’re really stuck. (She will probably catch your child's cold herself, though.) What more do you want?

Surely this is a reverse.

Some posts are that entitled that all I can thinking is fucking wow!