MIL strikes again

More like daughter in law strikes agian. It’s unreasonable to expose them to potentially catching the illness and then being run down themselves and not being able to see their other grandchildren. They are unpaid childcare, surely you must realise that? Is a bit odd a 4 month old would need to be in their own room, don’t tell me she needed ‘independence’?

"Entitled DIL strikes again"

Fixed your title for you

I know it's inconvenient for you but your mil has every right to cancel.
I really hate it when I do a favour or something out of kindness then it becomes an expectation and the other party gets pissed off because I can't do it.

This is a very unkind post - you sound like you just don't like her! Interestingly you like her enough to trust her with your child when it suits....

Obviously your child shouldn't go if they are 'full of cold'
Obviously MIL will want to spend time with her own grandchildren

So she’s prepared to cancel her GC, risk getting sick all to accommodate your family. She does this whole childcare overnight multiple times a month and drops him back to you, doing a 40 minute drive there and back.
She will also do additional childcare when you need it. What a cow! She has indeed ‘struck again’.
I’d go NC. Oh and send her my way. Thanks!

You sound like a horrendous DIL

Gross behaviour, knowingly passing on germs, eugh

Op, weaning isn't really advised until 6m and I would probably comment on that too.

But I must say that your title and the language you use drips with scorn for this woman.

Personally, I wouldn't leave my baby with someone I didn't like or value.

I agree with pp's, find alternative childcare and give the woman a break from your disagreeable attitude towards her.

If it's just a cold I'd send him, but if he's feeling really unwell one of you needs to take care of him.

those are completely separate issues though. she's not disagreeing with you about your decision in this case - you both agree he has a cold. she understands why you want her to look after him and she clearly doesn't have an issue with this normally or she wouldn't do it but she's allowed to not want herself or her other GC to catch the cold.

if she's not getting paid she can say no for any reason she wants.
She'd be within her rights to say no even if he didn't have a cold for any of the other reasons you've mentioned - she wants to spend 1 on 1 time with her other GC and she's already looked after him for more than the usual amount this month.

If you want guaranteed childcare you have to pay for it. If someone is helping you out for free just be grateful and accept they can say no whenever they want

Entitled much, OP?

This is one of the most entitled posts I have read on here. 100% unreasonable and 100% selfish. I have no other words.

Talk about entitlement. They are doing you a favour weekly. They don’t want your kids germs . Parent yourself.

"for childcare reasons", "we have to drop GC off"
The entitlement and attitude starts immediately, it's leaking out of you and you don't even realise, it's not just about the current situation.

It seems your mil is very patient and forgiving of this but there might come a point it adds up and is too much, but will come as a shock to you.

To avoid this happening try and have some self awareness, honesty and gratitude towards how you feel about you rmil.

This must be a reverse. They're bloody tedious.

No one is obliged to spend time with ill people! Rather shocking you're sending your 10month old out overnight even more so that you would when he's sick. Do you actually like him?

Of course she wants to protect her DDs house from all getting sick too. Your should be keeping him home.

This post screams entitlement. Your kid, your responsibility.

can't you hire someone for the day if it's a one off?

Entitled much!

This.
Sorry.

Your unpaid childcare can change their arrangement for any reason. A 10 month old, full of cold, doesn't sound much fun and your once-a-month has been almost weekly recently. Is the other grandchild 4 or 16 months old? Not surprising she may want to protect a younger baby from germs.

Guidance is to delay solids until 6 months so it's normal she would query you starting at 4 months. If she carries on challenging your explanation then that's not reasonable but when someone is doing you a favour you may have to bite your tongue.

She hasn't absolutely refused to have your child, just said they would prefer not to. Let them know that you have seriously considered all options, don't just insist they have to stick to the agreement.

I mean, unless it was paediatric-led, that is against all guidelines for good reason.

But regardless, you can't hold this much resentment for her but also use her as your childcare option.

This. Where is the grandfather in this scenario? Why can't he drive over and watch the child in your house?

I wouldn't want to be exposed to the virus either.

The top and bottom of this is that it sounds very much like you don’t really like her and maybe you feel judged by her because she’s telling you things that health care professionals would tell you. That’s not judging, it’s offering advice from experience. You don’t have to take it and you can raise your child in whatever way you want.

If your child is unwell, that’s your priority.