MIL strikes again

Except for the part about eating her baby 🤣🤣 stupid thing won’t let me edit, so that clanger can just stay in

Well said @WhimsicalGubbins76 exactly what I was thinking!

I note the OP has not responded to the point about weaning

Well, no, you don’t appreciate anything they do actually. That comes out loud and clear. You’re trying to make her sound like some witchy harridan of a stepmother, and all you’re doing is making her sound like a big hearted, generous woman who helps out an ungrateful, entitled “me me me” mother when she absolutely does not deserve it.

The ONLY things you’ve been able to accuse her of is upsetting your delicate little heart for questioning you on eating your baby far too young and how early you put him in his own room. I’ve got news for you, they are normal things for an older, more experienced mother to question, they’re about your sons safety-not about you.
You appear to be very “take take take” with this woman, what do you do for her in return for her giving up so much of her free time to look after your child?? Do you have them round for Sunday lunch? Do you make a fuss of her on Mother’s Day? Do you ever offer to take her out as a thank you? Get her the odd bottle of wine to show your appreciation?
My own mother wouldn’t have given up that much time to look after my son when he was little-nor would have I asked her to! And I certainly would never have foisted him on someone when he was ill-even if it was “just a cold” 🤦🏻‍♀️
Stop doubling down and defending yourself, you’re in the wrong-and you owe this woman a huge debt of gratitude

It must be annoying to keep justifying your parenting choices to your MIL and it's true that you are the parent, not her, so the decisions lie with you.

But that has nothing whatsoever to do with the childcare arrangement, where she is doing you a massive favour, and therefore her needs and preferences deserve a lot more respect.

Either use some of your wages to pay someone to care for your child. Or give up work. It's a choice most of us have to make.

So you won't take the day off work to look after your ill child but you expect your in laws to ?

YABVU.

I remember a good few years back my sister done the same because 'she had to work' and everyone got sick. Myself and my children included.

It's very selfish. It's just a cold reasoning is bizarre., especially IF the other child has asthma or other health conditions.

Here's my suggestion OP ...

1. Organise some regular paid childcare
2. Invite you mil and fil over to yours sometime next month - or even better, suggest a meet up at a local national trust or the park or somewhere, so your in-laws can simply enjoy their grandchildren and your company, without only seeing GC as childcare providers. You could even treat your in-laws to lunch as a thanks for all they've done so far by way of childcare. I bet they'd love that!
3. If they offer to have GC again, ensure at least a few times, it's on a day when you are free and let the GC go to his grandparents just for fun! and for their pleasure.
4. See the in laws again just for relaxed meet ups with no strings. Maybe each time the look after DC for you, you could meet you mil for a coffee then next weekend, as a thanks, without the DH and your DC. Just the two of you.
5. Watch the relationship improve :)

“can i not be cut a bit of slack just once!”

Fuck me, you don’t know you’re born!

You clearly do not appreciate your in-laws at all. They already look after your child at least once a week and sometimes more and it’s only 10months old!
I guess you’ll be popping off for a weekend break next. 😂

How about the fact that your poor child is feeling unwell and probably wants his mummy?

We had no grandparents on either side so all childcare was done by me inc. when I was really unwell. Once with a migraine and projectile vomiting down the hallway and having to stick baby DS in his playpen for most of the day. Then there was the time I had proper flu and lay on the sofa every day with DS crawling around on the floor. His Christmas dinner was beans on toast that year as that was as much as I could manage.

What jobs do you and your husband do where the pair of you can't take any time off?

I'm sorry your Mil isn't making your life easier. You obviously need alternate childcare.

Yup

Whay are you or DH not caring for your poorly baby?

I can't even imagine anyone having my 10m old overnight without me, ever. Not even GP. It sounds simultaneously an incredible luxury and a stressful strain on the bond to be honest.

I think you need to organise some proper paid childcare.

Well you can't have it both ways OP. If you want her to be a loving involved grandmother who does a tidy chunk of childcare for you then the trade off of that is she's going to see herself as having a role in your child's life, which will come with questions and opinions. She's a human being, not a robot who will silently follow your instructions and do whatever you want doing perfectly. If you want her to keep her thoughts to herself, then you will need to reset the role and expectations and find other childcare. Or alternatively put up with it because the benefit outweighs the cost.

OP please just stop. You "appreciate everything they do" for you but "MIL strikes again" because your MIL is worried about her other grandchild getting sick?
You had the child, you look after the child. Tough shit if that's inconvenient for you.

Sorry you sound really stressed but it isn’t wrong for her to question early weaning or moving into own room before 6 months. These are things that should be (politely) questioned to check you understand the dangers involved. And if your child is ill you are the one that needs to look after them.

it’s really hard when children are little but from what you have said it doesn’t seem she is wrong. You seem to be sufficiently fraught you can’t see the wood for the trees.

Yeah, another spurious post.

Of course ybu. They've had your baby more than usual. Now your moaning they don't want your sick baby. How selfish are you!

Yes, your MIL is striking again….for common sense. Thank goodness.

She isn't even saying don’t take your child to them, she’s simply asking how bad your child is, so that she can gauge whether or not to cancel her other, perfectly well GC coming along at the same time.

You write as if you are doing her a favour by taking him there for them to look after. (It’s a 40 min drive and you have to drop him off there.)

I think you should consider how you would feel if you were the parents of the other child. It’s highly likely the other child will catch what your child has.
In the end, either you take time off because of your sick child, or the other mum has to take time off because your sick child was at MIL’s passing it on to her well child.

If your PIL catch the cold from your child, they may be too poorly to look after your DS next time you need them.

It’s ‘just a cold’ to you, -it might be more serious for somebody older.

Why not focus on trying to contain the cold germs rather than taking offence at MIL, who I’m sure would be similarly protective towards your child if the boot were on the other foot.

I'm so sorry that you actually have to parent your child when it's not 100% convenient, and you're certainly the first parent to ever have to handle this balance, but hopefully you can survive this.

And it sounds like maybe you do need to be questioned occasionally, especially by someone who spends so much time with your child.

I’m assuming that the goading is now completely deliberate.

OP, I just don’t believe anyone could be so ignorant of others feelings and appear so blasé about their own child…