MIL strikes again

How lucky are you to get free childcare once a month and extras. You should not send your child if they are sick. You are a bit entitled. Many of us have never had this and would never dream of imposing arrangements like this.

Early weaning is linked to developing IBS and other digestive diseases in later life. You might not see the damage until she's 40.

You shouldn’t be trying to fill him up (this can lead to stretching their stomach and being more hungry next time around) You are supposed to feed a baby ‘on demand’ whenever they are hungry. And pace feed if using a bottle.

I think it would be a good idea to go on the NHS start for life website and have a refresh on weaning and baby care. I know that this will sound patronising but I think you need to put DS wellbeing first.

Oh Dear, I'm probably the same age as your MIL and I'd be telling you that there's no way I'd be looking after your DC on these terms.
You are leaving him there for overnight stays 3 X in a month? Hahaha no bloomin' chance.
I'd love to have a word with your MIL and teach her some assertive techniques.

This. There's no formal contact etc.

My daughter was weaned at 4 months I am shocked she's still alive and got to 20 years old.

Bloody hell! My own mum wouldn’t have had any of mine overnight at such a young age on top of having them for 2 full days so regularly!

And you want to send an unwell 10 month old? He’ll be so whingy - you can’t expect anyone else to put up with that! And he’ll want his parents for comfort. It’s the reality of having small children, you have to take time off when they’re ill.

I hope you’re extremely grateful to her in person - you sound awful here

Love that this is called “MIL strikes again” when OP is very much in the wrong.

Starting solids early (before baby’s digestive system is fully developed) can cause health problems in later life. There is a reason 6 months is the recommendation.

A poorly baby needing overnight childcare at 10m old is quite an unusual situation. You most likely need to be thinking about whether your jobs roles are sustainable. It’s quite a hefty bit of childcare you’re getting from your in-laws. You do need to appreciate what you have there as it’s quite significant.

The challenge is that once you rely on family childcare you need to know it is there and going to work. If it’s a cold then I think she should carry on as planned as a nursery would but if you have a very unhappy baby on your hands, any sort of fever then an overnight is a big ask when they’re just going to want you so I can see why she’s questioning it. For me it really depends how poorly the baby is.

Yes, it's usually the parents who follow the research because they want to do the best thing for their child, and more likely to be a MIL feeling threatened because the way they did it is no longer in line with best practise. Really odd for a Mum to know the information needed to keep her baby safe and choose to not follow it.

Where does your baby go the other times you are working?
Is the other grandchild 4 or 16 months? Surely you don't want them to be ill too? I would assume you haven't been back to work long you need to realise that when your child goes to nursery/school they will be ill more times than you can imagine, what do you and oh do for work? A lot of places allow parents pto to care for sick children.

I can't believe there's actually 4% of people who think OP is not being unreasonable! Hopefully they just clicked the wrong button!!

I think the only person not on MILs side is OP!

You are being a very unreasonable, obnoxious DiL.

I’m on the MIL side on all of those points.

Sorry, I’m a big fan of my kids being looked after by family for lots of reasons, but a major downside is you can’t send them if there even a little more than sniffly.

I’m interested in the examples you’re giving as things your mil has commented on - I’ve been on here a long time and mils usually suggest early weaning and shifting to sleeping alone, while the mum delays these things. Interesting.

Have you thought about asking your own parents, or DH's Mum, for help? Because it seems like there's only one person stepping up to help you and they are the one getting the flack.

As PPs have pointed out, it's quite unusual that at 10 months you are already needing her to have him overnight numerous times a month and not wanting to take time off to take care of him when he's unwell. You've also made decisions which make life easier for the parents but have been shown to be harmful to babies' health and development. It sounds like (especially considering she's considering cancelling seeing her own GC to take on yours) that she's concerned that you and DH are not coping with parenthood, and is trying to be a safety net for GC.

I'm with MIL. Fill him up so he sleeps and early into his own room seems all for parents and parents careers benefits

Well…what an entitled selfish brat you seem to be OP. Other people do matter too you know.

I suspect she’s being perfectly reasonable also with questioning your parenting choices.

It sounds like they help you out quite a bit and have been extra accommodating over the past month, especially since she's not actually your DH's Mum. It's not fair for her to put the health of another child at risk and it's very reasonable that she also wants to spend time with her actual GC.

You "simply can" take time off work- you have a sick child and like every other working parent, you have to sort it out with your employer.

Your MIL sounds like a concerned and fair person OP.
I think she is well within her rights to not take your ill DC at the same time as her other DGC.
I hesitate to ask how you would feel if the situation was reversed, because you might not mind your child being exposed to illness, as long as 'someone' else will be caring for them when they get sick.
Time to step up, between your DH and yourself and find someone else or stay home with them.

This really can't be a serious thread. Nobody could be that obtuse.

can i not be cut a bit of slack just once

OMG, you're being cut slack once a month for every month of this baby's life so far, and this last month multiple times a month! It's not her job to look after your baby so you can work! She's doing you a massive favour. You've got this so wrong.

Look at it from her perspective: she can't see her own daughter's children, her grandchildren, in case her step-grandson for whom she already provides free childcare makes them sick. It's only a cold, but think about it from her DD's perspective.

I think you need to organise your family life better, you and your partner.

Perhaps your husband should be the one dealing with his dad/stepmum, OP.

Let him sort out the childcare conversations when dealing with his side of things. And if his parents refuse to take him with a cold, then he can stay home with the baby, no?