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Original poster

Husband farting is giving me the ick

190 replies

Marriedtoafarter · 10/10/2024 08:04

What can I do / say to stop my husband farting so much. He claims he can’t help it but I can hear he forces them out and they stink. I’ve said it isn’t fair for me to breathe in that air, said it gives me the ick, asked politely, asked sharply, asked so many times for it to stop and it does maybe for an hour or two but then he will fart again when we go to bed for example and it makes me shudder.

I love him so much but it makes me not want to cuddle or kiss him let alone anything else!!!

Any advice??? 😷

OP posts:
Laszlomydarling · 11/10/2024 20:35

sharpclawedkitten · 11/10/2024 17:27

Only on MN do people think that you can hold in a fart!

It's completely different to holding in a bowel movement.

Show quote history

No, you're wrong. It is entirely possible for many people to hold in farts until they get to the toilet. I hold mine in all day and tend to do a lot when I get home from work.

Obviously an occasional one comes suddenly and u expectedly, but usually I feel it coming and hold it in until on my own. Must be very difficult to be unable to hold them.

My partner has never farted in front of me, except once while sleeping.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/10/2024 20:31

BobbyBiscuits · 11/10/2024 20:25

@Gwenhwyfar I'm sorry to hear you have issues. It's true that women probably have worse gut problems, but somehow they don't smell as bad!

No, but when we do smell it's mortifying for us.

BobbyBiscuits · 11/10/2024 20:25

@Gwenhwyfar I'm sorry to hear you have issues. It's true that women probably have worse gut problems, but somehow they don't smell as bad!

bebanjo · 11/10/2024 20:12

My DH was at the birth of our DD. Looked after me when I could not walk. Helped me dress and wash after surgery. Changed our daughter’s nappy’s and washed all my blood soaked underwear. Why would it be a problem for us to fart in front of each other after all that, disrespectful, please. It’s just funny.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/10/2024 19:53

BobbyBiscuits · 11/10/2024 19:51

@Gwenhwyfar I'm sure you'd at least feel a bit embarrassed and try to get to the bathroom! Men seem to have no shame!

No. There'd be no way I could get to the bathroom in time.
Yes, my embarrassment would be worse than for a man because it's considered much worse for a woman to fart, but I actually think we suffer even more from bloating and flatulence.

BobbyBiscuits · 11/10/2024 19:51

@Gwenhwyfar I'm sure you'd at least feel a bit embarrassed and try to get to the bathroom! Men seem to have no shame!

Gwenhwyfar · 11/10/2024 19:42

BobbyBiscuits · 11/10/2024 19:15

@Gwenhwyfar fair enough re the tablets. But it seems peculiar to me that women never ever seem to do multiple toxically stinky farts in the company of others. If we can hold it in why can't they?

We can't!!!!

Gwenhwyfar · 11/10/2024 19:42

Blugh · 11/10/2024 19:34

☹️ All these comments make me sad.
I have no control of farts after a traumatic birth injury that was not repaired. I bet people assume I’m disgusting and do it on purpose, I get that the husband probably does do it on purpose but some people really can’t help it

I can't either and never given birth. Most people in real life are not as nasty as on MN.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/10/2024 19:41

Catza · 11/10/2024 18:56

If you are so sure about that, then explain to me why a diagnosis of flatus bowel incontinence exists? There is literally a medical diagnosis of inability to hold farts which suggests that a healthy individual is able to hold them just fine through the mechanisms I described earlier.

Show quote history

Then explain to me why people who can't hold their farts in get no help from their GP.

Blugh · 11/10/2024 19:34

☹️ All these comments make me sad.
I have no control of farts after a traumatic birth injury that was not repaired. I bet people assume I’m disgusting and do it on purpose, I get that the husband probably does do it on purpose but some people really can’t help it

Lion1618 · 11/10/2024 19:31

My OH was like this in terms of frequency and smell! He cut out gluten from his diet and his gut completely transformed.

BobbyBiscuits · 11/10/2024 19:15

@Gwenhwyfar fair enough re the tablets. But it seems peculiar to me that women never ever seem to do multiple toxically stinky farts in the company of others. If we can hold it in why can't they?

IcedPurple · 11/10/2024 19:12

Ratisshortforratthew · 10/10/2024 10:52

I can’t stop laughing at the post about how no one farts in Europe. Sorry OP, no advice. Farting isn’t just a male thing though. I (a woman) have been the first to fart in front of a partner in pretty much all relationships. I grew up in a family where farts were funny. In my current relationship they’re a source of amusement particularly because, in addition to human farts, we have a very flatulent pug. Every time anyone farts we shout TAX (because Denmark has started taxing cow farts/agricultural emissions). Maybe you could impose such a tax on your DH?

Edited

This is Mumsnet, where bad things, including stinky farts, only happen in Britain.

On the very rare occasions when people 'on the continent' fart, they smell of roses and sound like a symphony orchestra.

IcedPurple · 11/10/2024 19:07

Fairslice · 10/10/2024 10:23

Is this true or one of those odd threads?

Well, the OP doesn't seem to have returned, so you'd have to wonder.

CheekyHobson · 11/10/2024 19:06

aurynne · 10/10/2024 08:52

This was one of the many reasons I ended up losing any sexual attraction to my ExH. He also said "he couldn't help it", but coincidentally he never, ever farteds at work, in front of friends, or even in front of his family. It's like his sphincter only failed in my presence. I could never understand it, in other areas of his life he was very clean and proper. But for me, the constant loud farting was a turn-off. I don't miss it. My current DP does not fart in front of me, and I love it.

Exactly the same experience. I seriously think it’s a way of them passive-aggressively showing disrespect towards you.

Catza · 11/10/2024 18:56

Gwenhwyfar · 11/10/2024 18:09

Yep.

Show quote history

If you are so sure about that, then explain to me why a diagnosis of flatus bowel incontinence exists? There is literally a medical diagnosis of inability to hold farts which suggests that a healthy individual is able to hold them just fine through the mechanisms I described earlier.

Scully01 · 11/10/2024 18:48

I could have written this. I swear my husband has some kind of intolerance but will he go get it checked out?? No...

Catza · 11/10/2024 18:45

sharpclawedkitten · 11/10/2024 17:27

Only on MN do people think that you can hold in a fart!

It's completely different to holding in a bowel movement.

Show quote history

No, it isn't. Both are controlled by sphincter and every pelvic PT (or any person with anatomy knowledge) will tell you that if you can't control your farts, you need to see someone about your pelvic muscles.

LightSpeeds · 11/10/2024 18:33

Yeah, sounds like he's doing it on purpose. Disgusting.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/10/2024 18:09

sharpclawedkitten · 11/10/2024 17:27

Only on MN do people think that you can hold in a fart!

It's completely different to holding in a bowel movement.

Show quote history

Yep.

HappyToSmile · 11/10/2024 17:54

We all fart. That's a thing.
However, my ex also used to do the vile ones that he squeezed out, just like the OP. And they think it's funny, like an 8 year old would. Yes, sometimes when someone farts, it is amusing, but when it is deliberate, it is definitely ick inducing.
I'm glad I don't have to suffer this any more.

sharpclawedkitten · 11/10/2024 17:27

Catza · 10/10/2024 08:37

Do you imply he has no sphincter control? He can't control gas production but every adult (and child from about the age of 2) can hold a fart until they get to the toilet. Farting in public is a choice.

Show quote history

Only on MN do people think that you can hold in a fart!

It's completely different to holding in a bowel movement.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/10/2024 17:05

BobbyBiscuits · 10/10/2024 12:18

He should be able to have a window of opportunity to get to the toilet or at least stick his arse out an open door or window? It sounds like he must have a bad diet and gut health as I don't think very frequent smelly farting is normal.
I don't know if they work but you can get OTC wind tablets. Maybe a probiotic drink or yoghurt might help.
It is not nice and he does have some control over it. I don't fart in public, and if I feel windy at home I go immediately to the toilet, arse first away from anyone's nose. If possible!

Edited

Not everyone has that time and the tablets don't work.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/10/2024 17:02

5128gap · 10/10/2024 10:14

Very occasionally is one thing. This is frequent and repeated. If the world was really full of people who can't possibly help it to the extent and frequency the OP describes, then every office, gym, bus, train, theatre would smell like Satan's privy. Yet somehow, other than the occasional whiff, they dont. Which suggests the vast majority of people are able to control it most of the time when they choose. It's entirely possible the OPs H is part of a tiny minority who passes through life sounding like the brass section of a particularly poor and maladorous orchestra, but unless he is ill or needs to rethink his diet, unlikely. And he clearly doesn't see it as a deeply embarrassing thing, at least not in front of his wife.

Show quote history

Not true. Plenty of people can't control it, but it's not always thAt smelly.

Gwenhwyfar · 11/10/2024 17:01

ThisHangryPinkBalonz · 10/10/2024 08:50

Seriously, most people are capable of knowing when they are going to break wind. OP even said he's forcing them out.

Show quote history

I know when it will happen, but I can't prevent it neither do I have time to go to another room.

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