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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I can afford a baby?

33 replies

user0910222 · 09/10/2024 23:30

I'm 33 years old and just found out I'm pregnant. Ex and I split up last week so I'll be going it alone. He also has no interest in the pregnancy (long story but he wasn't who I thought he was).

I want to keep the baby but I'm petrified that I won't be able to manage financially.

Earning a full time salary of 45K.
I own my own house outright (I got lucky with inheritance, and then also worked my butt off to become mortgage free).
Now left with 20K in savings.

Ex earns 60K so I know there will be some maintenance there but he also has 3 other kids. And whether he will even pay is another matter as I know lots of mothers who struggle to get their maintenance payments.

AIBU to think I can afford a baby alone with no financial help? I'll be out of work for a year, won't be able to go back to being full time. I'm so scared but I can't not have this baby.

OP posts:
Halfscottish · 09/10/2024 23:45

I’d do it in a heartbeat! Good luck!

Katielovesteatime · 09/10/2024 23:44

Of course you'll be fine.

InfoSecInTheCity · 09/10/2024 23:42

Yes you will be able to afford it.

You will also be able to go back to work full time if that's what you want to do.

Nurseries are expensive and for a few years it can be tight to pay for them to enable you to work, but long term staying in full time work if you have the kind of job where progression and career development are available will serve you well. It's also worth thinking more long term about flexibility in work.

Pre-school age, there are private nurseries who provide childcare between 8am and 6pm. Once you get to reception age childcare is HARD. School might have breakfast clubs but it's not guaranteed, they might have an after school club but it's not guaranteed and often they only run till 5pm. Childminders can be hard to find and don't always do drop off and pick up. Lots of holiday clubs only start taking kids from yr 1 age so holiday care for a 4 yr old in reception can be difficult to source and you have 13 weeks to cover.

If staying in work through ages 1-4 means you can build up to a more flexible Work from Home role, it will benefit you when they start school.

Xmasbaby11 · 09/10/2024 23:38

Congratulations op!

You sound in a good position financially though depends on outgoings and your company’s maternity leave. Also if you can’t or don’t want return to that job full time, would you be able to work part time or have to find another job? I’d look into that and also local childcare and other practicalities.

Screamingabdabz · 09/10/2024 23:37

I think money is the least of the issues here.

Kitkatcatflap · 09/10/2024 23:34

I think you will be fine financially but what about practical help family, friends etc.

SouthLondonMum22 · 09/10/2024 23:32

Sounds like you'll be able to manage. Why won't you be able to go back full time?

StressedQueen · 09/10/2024 23:31

I think you will be fine. 🙂Sorry not much advice but this sounds doable to me