to expect dd to open up and explain her ways /odd behaviours

She sounds great, and it wouldn't surprise me if she was neurodivergent - as you say, some of the behaviours you're seeing don't sound typical.

But who wants to be typical? I'm sure you accept and love her as she is, but it's natural to worry sometimes.

Your don't sound like Matilda's mum at all. That's just bloody rude.

She sounds lovely OP, leave her be. It would be a boring world if we were all the same. Stop being so bloody judgemental. If she's healthy and happy, let her be comfortable in her own skin.

How can you be a parent in 2024 and not know about this, considering how common it is? Google it. Be like your daughter and do some research.

Not surprised she is so into self motivated study and learning.

It doesn't sound like she gets much in the way of mental stimulation or intellectual challenge at home otherwise.

She sounds great and I bet you could have really interesting conversations with her about all her interests and learn from her.

So where are you getting your very rigid ideas about teenagers from? You seem very governed by ‘should’s.

I don't know if it's odd for a 15 year old but her documentary list sounds identical to mine 😂 I often watch the same ones over and over again too, some people just like that sort of thing

This is her personality. You need to accept her as she is.
I was similar to this myself and I am ND. There may be an element of that in your daughter. As long as she seems to be flourishing, why worry? Why do you think being extremely studious and introverted is unhealthy? I hope you're not communicating that belief to her. IMO you are very lucky to have a daughter like that. Please don't devalue her because she is different from the average teen. The average teen is quite atrocious, and I felt that way about teens when I was a teen myself. Your daughter sounds like an amazing person. She probably has a high IQ, which plays into it as well. You have an exceptional child and you're worried about it. I don't get it.

She sounds great. What on earth is wrong with watching documentaries about history and medical subjects, or having male as well as female friends? She sounds scholarly and serious. We need more people like that.

Nothing odd about it. She is enjoying learning. It probably comes easily to her and she is good at it and derives pleasure from it. As long is she isn't setting herself impossibly high standards and making herself stressed because of it, it all sounds fine.

Is this the person pretending to be a teen/bad parent (it changes intermittently) again? Because if it is, it’s just beyond boring now.

Apologies if not, sure HQ can verify if it’s the same PBP.

OP, your DD reminds me of one of DS2's early girlfriends. The least girly of girls, wildly academic. She was super bright with wide interests.

She got her PhD this year and is now a full-time academic.

I really have no idea what you're worrying about.

Did you grow up in a different culture from where you are raising your daughter? I wonder if that's why you find some aspects of her life odd.
There's nothing unusual about having an even mix of male and female friends for example, or developing a deep interest in some subjects and pursuing them beyond regular homework.

What exactly are you concerned about?

She isn't like you, but none of what you describe sounds at all dangerous or likely to take her down a path that will lead to poor outcomes or even limit her choices later on.

You want her to "explain" herself but sound like that would be a really frustrating conversation for her if you just can't fathom how a girl could have an interest in things other than boys and how she looks. This isn't something you need her to talk about to understand. You could read up on other women who have been fascinated by scientific subjects or had close friendships with boys when they were teens.

I know you're posting because you're a bit worried about your DD but with the way you're expressing yourself you sound so narrow minded it doesn't seem surprising that she withdraws at home and just does her own thing. I think you might want to consider whether you're the issue here.

I can I ask what she was like growing up.

I only ask because your DD sounds like my dd2, very fixated on her studies plus what seemed random obsessions. Unfortunately she had a mental health crisis and self harmed at the beginning of YR11. All the people we have spoken too suspect that she is on the autism spectrum.

And looking back what we just thought of her little quirks growing up we agree. My DH is also on the spectrum as well.

I wish my 15 year old was more like this. Mine is never home and constantly needs to be with her friends or she gets fomo.

You need to understand differences. Simple as that.

Edina, is that you? Seriously, you sound like the mother from Absolutely Fabulous!

Nothing sounds weird about her. She sounds like a girl who enjoys learning and science. At her age I was obsessed with ancient Egypt, Latin classifications of animals and autobiographies by war correspondents! I had a friend who was mad about Kate bush and Freddie mercury (this was in the 2000s so quite some time after their heyday). Mixed friendship groups are very normal, as is not being interested in boys or makeup. She might even like girls! Why does it matter to you that she doesn’t fit a very reductive and rigid stereotype of a teenage girl? Where are you getting your ideas of what’s “normal” from?

OP not sure if this is a wind up or not (as OP sounds like mother from Roald Dahl’s ‘Matilda’), but I was like this as a teen and then grew up to have a full ride scholarship from undergrad to my masters and have a varied and successful career winning awards etc. I also have mixed sex friendships. That’s a great thing. I became more outgoing as grew older and found my feet away from school, where most people while lovely were (in my eyes then) a bit basic.

She sounds normal.

You sound... odd.

My kids are now 24.

When they were teens their friendship groups were more boys and girls.

I taught secondary for twenty years.

Most friendship groups had girls and boys in them.

Can you explain why you think girls should have only friends who are girls?

Was going to say this.

Maybe she’s thinking about a career in nursing/midwifery?