to expect dd to open up and explain her ways /odd behaviours

Your dd sounds very much like my ds, he was watching stuff about politics, nuclear war, people escaping from North Korea & China, Air Crash Investigations from being about 12.

She sounds a bit like me. I used to spend hours poring over maps, reading books about history and medicine, and quite a few books about human rights (Holocaust, Tiananmen Square, FGM, international child abduction) and yeah, sometimes biology and pregnancy. I went to a girls school but never really had a cohesive girl group. Fundamentally I was and still am a bit kooky and maybe intense, but I’ve got loads of friends and I’m quite a successful adult with a well paid job and a lovely fiancé. Chances are she’ll be fine.

What is unusual or wrong in a 50/50 boy/girl friendship group? I would have thought it was perfectly healthy at this age. I was similar to your daughter at fifteen, with several interests, but with music being the overriding and intense passion. I enjoyed the pop music of the time to a certain extent, but it was always classical music that was my true love. My daughter was the same. I would far rather this than silly, giggling girls with nothing more in their heads than clothes, makeup, pop music, boys and shopping. She is obviously academically able with an enquiring mind and should do well at university when she is older, which is where I suspect she will find her tribe and make lifelong friends with like minded people. This made what happened to my daughter and myself. Indeed, l still have several friends from my music college days forty years ago.

Oh you've nailed it

I think your daughter sounds a bit intense, but teenagers often are. Nothing troubling, or requiring an "explanation". I don't think you should expect her to explain herself to you.

When I was 15, I was the same. I preferred reading, and learning about history, geography, etc. I liked to dive deep into my favourite topics, and could spend hours on the internet doing research every day. I had no interest in make-up or boys. I preferred documentaries to romance novels, and never watched popular TV shows aimed at teenagers. I frankly thought my interests were far more interesting than the prosaic pursuits of most other people. I had a small group of friends. I didn't get into trouble. I didn't experience heartbreak or low self-esteem. I didn't have anxiety. I'm not neurodivergent. I knew my own mind, kept my own counsel, and I didn't care what other people thought.

I also had a lot of growing up to do, and lot of emotional maturity still to attain. But again, that's normal for a teenager. All 15 year olds still need to grow up, to come to terms with the "real world", to adjust. But your daughter sounds fine.

I did incredibly well academically in high school, and then in university. I had my first boyfriend in university, met my husband in university (to whom I am still very happily married after 15 years, and with whom I've had some amazing times travelling the world together and now parenting two, soon to be three, children). I have a very well-paid job which I enjoy, and live a very happy and comfortable life.

My mother didn't "get me" either, but I didn't (and still don't) think of that as my problem. That's her problem for being narrow-minded.

I don't even understand how one could explain an interest in a way that's satisfactory to someone who doesn't share it. I'm not interested in football. DP has all these stats memorized, talks sbout it with his friends for hours and faithfully supports his team like it matters, and all I'm ever going to see is a bunch of blokes running around in shorts. Likewise, I love small-batch independent perfumeries. I have a huge collection, keep meticulous spreadsheets and am active on a sub reddit devoted to them. All DP gets from it is smelly oils. We like what we like because we like it.

I also think your understanding of modern teenagers is a bit outdated. It's very common now to have a mixed-sex friend group and niche interests. I'm a teacher and I'd say the number of my female students who are truly interested in fashion or make-up are very much a minority. Out of the most popular girls I know, one is very into Asian food TikToks, another is devoted to American politics and a third loves old-school atari games. They like what they like.

bottom line if the world had a lot more of your dd, then it would be alot more advanced both technology and interpersonal ect

Wth are you on about? 'more time' to 'get it together'. Do jog on. You do realise most girls with more than 20 braincells these days who stay off tiktok couldnt give much of a toss about getting it 'right' with make-up and clothes?

Do you realise how grim your post sounds?

Spot on.

Edina and Saffron.

I think you are right to be a bit concerned. It looks like your DD is obsessed with some sort of ideas so I personally would like to know what they are. They might be right and amazing ideas but as a parent you want to know. You don’t want her to pack suddenly for Africa at 16. ( at least I wouldn’t)
Also maybe she struggles a bit with social side of life and as a result she hasn’t invited to parties/ shopping trips/ general hanging out together. So then why would she need make up if she spends all time at home doing h/w? I think it’s not an easy skill to be good with clothes and make up and studies at the same time in your teenage years. And some of girls need more time or extra help to get it all together. Of course there is always an option that she is not bothered about some things for ethical/ environmental reasons, which is fine by the way but I would expect you to know about it. If she is not opening up I wonder if her views are too opposite to yours and she’s not sure in your reaction.

A lot of people would love a child like this. They'll go far

WHAT IS YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM?!

Genuinely?

I'm not sure she's the odd one here.

You literally use the words “weird”, “strange” and “odd” to describe her interests and behaviours. We aren’t getting this from nowhere.

Leave the poor girl alone! I love learning about history! Watched Time Team with my mum, The World at War by myself and did GCSE history. At 15 I was holed up in my room listening to Evanescence on repeat and writing some frankly quite disturbing poetry.

What about what she's doing makes you think she's unhappy? She has friends, she's interested in lots of things, she clearly has an aptitude for learning and is doing well at school.

What are the specific red flags that are giving you concern? Because an interest in biology and having male friends as well as female are not red flags. She sounds like a well rounded young woman unless there's something else you're not telling us.

Why do you keep calling your daughter odd? What’s wrong with having male friends?
I honestly don't see why you are worried?! She sounds fantastic

Another thing about being 15 is that the world is your oyster! You can be anyone you want to be. There are almost no limits at that age - at least it feels that way. I remember that feeling. So exciting and hopeful! She might just be exploring the nursing/midwifery thing as it's something that really interests her and she's wondering if she might like to do it as a job one day. Teens explore things, it's so healthy and normal. I can't believe you're worried about this.

As for having male and female friends - again, so?! I also did at this age, and still do!

It sounds like you've got your idea about what a 15 year old girl should be like from a cheerleader in an American teen high school movie and you're panicking because she's a normal human instead.

the bottom line is if she wants to study and seems happy then shes happy etc at least thats how id interpret it

I didn’t really mean have you asked her why she watches those programmes but more could you have a discussion where she tells you about something she’s watched. Doing this might help you to understand her & her likes more. There must be reason she chooses to watch the programme and she might explain that if you are having a general chat about it. For example, it could be linked to a career she wants to go into. Both my DC have career ideas and they haven’t taken any secondary exams yet. They may not end up doing that but they have hopes and plans (that are a mixture of realistic and unrealistic!).

None of that is odd? Like everyone, all teens are different. They like different things. When I was a teenager my passions were military history, 21st century Europe and sociology. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that it's very normal and healthy for teenagers to explore the world in more detail at this age and start to dive deeper into different interests, picking up more as they discover them. Would you prefer she was out smoking behind bike sheds and chugging cheap vodka in the park?

A lot of stereotypes in your posts, OP.

Not every girl is into superficial stuff like make-up or shopping....that doe not make someone 'odd'.

It is bizarre as well that you expect her to justify the fact that she has her own interests and personalty.

Frankly she sounds like a smart teen with a mind of her own, while you come across as a bit, well, dim.

Stop trying to make your daughter into someone she is not.

OP, your daughter sounds absolutely wonderful. There is nothing wrong with studying, watching documentaries, having opinions and interests or being friends with the opposite sex.

You seem to hold very stereotypical views of teenage girls which are actually quite insulting and do nothing for encouraging equality of the sexes.