Is it unreasonable for both parents to attend kids party

Also, I like spending time with my DH; we spend most of the week like ships in the night. Kids birthday parties take out a chunk of this time so if I can hang out with my DH and chat then I'd quite like to do that.

I think it’s odd that you both wanted to go.

But I don’t think it’s odd that both parents do go.

Can you tell us exactly how you worded it?
Perhaps it was your wording that she wasn’t sure of.

Are you sure that she was expecting either of you to stay?

If it’s at her home, then I assume it was a drop off and pick up later job.

Why would you need to check if the space is ok?

It's almost always this. The only family I know who do this every time without fail are hugely co-dependant (and the wife doesn't trust the husband to be left alone for more than 5 minutes).

You're probably really overthinking this, I start responses to people's messages all the time and then get distracted and before you know it 4 days have passed and I still haven't responded.

I don't think there's anything wrong with both parents going - where we live, this is pretty common, especially if you're friends with the birthday child's parents. It's a good way for both parents to have a chance to meet other parents too.

If she does then she's not worth your time anyway. Realistically I'm guessing she was hoping it would just be you so she could get to know you better and become friends.

Gosh i had no idea. We always go as a family. But then so do lots of others I've seen.

Maybe I'm more forgiving than others but I'd be fine with it, and even if I wasn't 'fine' I'd keep it to myself and just think the mum didn't realise it was an inconvenience/not enough space etc. I wouldn't hold it against them 🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s fine!! We had a party at home for 3 yo and invited 8 children. Over half came with both parents.

4 yo party at home and invited 7 kids and 3 came with both parents and the others just one. One family asked if it was okay, we didn’t mind the more the merrier

I just can’t really understand why any family would want to waste 2 adults time on attending a child’s party. There is about 20 things I could think of doing that are either more interesting or more useful.

I am a bit surprised at the comments here!

We're not at the parties stage yet (apart from family and close friends where we both go) but I always imagined the both of us would go where possible. And no...it's not because my husband is controlling and won't let me out on my own...or because I'm a wet lettuce who can't hold a conversation...but because we like to do things as a family, especially on a weekend when time together is limited. But obviously I'm the weirdo...

I have very bad memories of DD third birthday party when we'd just moved in so didn't mind the mess. All the children's two parents wanted to stay so they ended up squashed round the walls of the party room and up the stairs!

Both parents? Like a day out? No, just send your DH and put your feet up.

It’s almost as if not all areas and social circles are the exact same as your local experience.

What's the problem? In most cases for kids parties it's not like you're accounting for sit down meals for adults is it, if you're lucky you get a bit of leftover kids buffet food 🤣

As some posters have said it may be bloody stressful for the host if they don't want 2x the numbers rocking up to an indoor party in cold weather in a small house.

Are you going to suggest poor people with small houses shouldn't have parties if 3 humans per family can't fit? Honestly this would be an issue for our circles.

What's the problem? In most cases for kids parties it's not like you're accounting for sit down meals for adults is it, if you're lucky you get a bit of leftover kids buffet food

Fine if it's a church hall or a community centre, less fine when there are 10 or 15 surplus adults crammed into your front room or kitchen.

Or maybe it means their kid needs a bit of extra supervision/support. Maybe it means both parents want a chance to see their kid have fun or get to know the other parents.

What's the problem? In most cases for kids parties it's not like you're accounting for sit down meals for adults is it, if you're lucky you get a bit of leftover kids buffet food 🤣

I've seen quite a few "both parents" attending at parties in our area, I don't see the big deal?

Love the assumption that both parents wanting to go to something for their kid means they're a weird family 🙄

Exactly this. Although it's not a bit weird, it's really weird. It either means the DH is a bit of a shit who won't let his wife out on her own, or that the wife is a damp lettuce who won't do anything on her own without him. Imagine if every child invited turned up with 2 adults. In a normal-sized house.

That's exactly what I thought but it sounds like it's normal in some areas.

We haven't been to many parties yet but we've both attended in a few cases. Two were soft play type ones where we're friends with the other parents and one was a little house party where I went with ds, but everyone ended up staying longer than expected because the weather was nice, kids were having fun etc - DH swung by thinking he'd be picking us up but ended up staying and chucking kids onto the bouncy castle while the mums chatted 🤣

Our son has some additional needs and sometimes it's nice to both go so one can keep a bit of an eye/be there to support if he needs it while the other can sit/try and make friends with the other parents etc. To be honest we've hosted little parties for ds and it wouldn't occur to me to be bothered about a dad turning up too.

Same where I am, both at my kid's school and with our local and nursery friends. Sometimes we have developed friendships with the parents and sometimes both kids are invited.

Exactly this. Although it's not a bit weird, it's really weird. It either means the DH is a bit of a shit who won't let his wife out on her own, or that the wife is a damp lettuce who won't do anything on her own without him.

Imagine if every child invited turned up with 2 adults. In a normal-sized house.

It was a thing round here when mine were in reception/Y1- not something I ever did as have three DC.

I'm amazed at how many people are saying it's normal for them to see both parents attend.

That's what I thought!

Are all the other posters rich people with huge London open plan houses? Everyone is in little terraces here!