Is it unreasonable for both parents to attend kids party

Lots of parents turn up together at kids parties. Nothing strange. But you are getting quite upset about it so perhaps you could benefit from help with anxiety?

Sometimes it’s better to try read the room though than believe every host thinks it’s as lovely as you do to take your husband aswell 🫣 When you’ve accounted food for adults/kids and those 1-2 parents who rudely take their other half or rest of their kids along, it can be a major eye roll moment for the hosts and its also typically noticed by others there who actually can manage to take their kid to a party by themselves 😂

Op she’s just tried to save it like you did. She didn’t get distracted. How difficult is it to say no worries when already typing.

the thing to remember is it’s a party for the kids, not you. You’re not the invitee. The whole we’d love to come thing. It’s he’d love to come. And a guardian goes too. If you’re not able. Then your husband goes instead.

Oh god I’d have never have thought this could be an issue. Thankfully DD is only 2 so the only parties we’ve gone to are family friends but good to know in advance of any nursery invites.

I think it depends on the friend group/school tbh, when my kids were little both parents always attended but the whole friendship group was couples anyway so it would have been weird if suddenly for parties only 1 parent turned up.
In your case if you're the only friend going I'd say it would be reasonable to take your DH because presumably the host will be hosting, DC will be playing and you'll be left on your own. It would also be weird to send DH on his own if he never met the mum.

The child is four. At four, it's usual for the kids and parents to basically be the same social circle. It's genuinely weird to think that an event for a child isn't an event for anyone else. Or that kids only like kids. When my DS was that age, he liked many of the adults as much as the kids in our circle and all of the kids really liked me. The birthday parties we hosted and went to, were proper social events that were about all in attendance. It was only when the kids got older and were having parties in activity venues that parties became mostly a child only thing. But at that, it's still normal for many parents to prefer to stay and have a chat through the party.

It really depends on the party. Preschool friends - one parent and no siblings unless explicitly invited. Friend friends - would normally both go if both free.

General rule of thumb - if it's a house then 1 parent attends, if it's a hall then it's up to you. I do, I confess, always find it weird when both parents show up. But then I also find it weird when both parents do the school run every single day. And hold hands on the way there and back. Might start another thread about that...

This op.
Please try not to over think it.

Kids parties are usually one parent as it’s a party for the child, not the adults (unless stated otherwise) and continues like that until the child is old enough to be dropped and left (much debate on what age that is!)

if you’re struggling, send your husband. You will be invited to a lot of them over the years so get into the habit of sharing it now so it’s not all you!

And if you think you can manage it, go.. its a good chance to meet other parents.

good luck with the birth of your baby and congrats!!

Goodness, since when has another child’s birthday party been a family day out?

It’s absolutely fine to ask. She is being annoying by not answering- don’t tie yourself in a knot worrying as probably she just got halfway through typing an answer and then got distracted and forgot. You haven’t committed some awful faux pas.

I’d leave it and if heavily pregnant, I’d just send my husband 😆 and ask him to make my excuses! Why would you both go when just one will do? I know where I’d rather be..

I don’t know when this became a thing tbh. When mine were little, it was as common place for 2 parents to come as it was for just 1. Nobody batted an eyelid. I honestly can’t imagine what it must be like for parents of toddlers now constantly trying to ascertain what is socially acceptable.

Sorry, but I always think it's a bit weird when both parents turn up to children's parties. It's not a family day out

THIS

However, with my circle of mum friends we always invite siblings and partners, some people do & some don’t.

to be honest she probably has 100 & 1 things to do so I wouldn’t worry that you haven’t heard back yet. Will you see her again before the party, maybe you can explain that you’re pregnant and it’s hard work, or if your husband bring your child alone instead
as others said. Just chill these things work out

It would be very strange around here. There’s only one family that does this, and it is commented on by others.

Me and my husband always go. I think it’s 50/50 round here as to whether 1 or 2 parents go.

I mean I might think it’s slightly weird especially for a party at home and I might be worried about space and catering for another person, but I don’t necessarily think it’s rude of you or a huge issue.
She may have been meaning for parents not to stay at all if there are a lot of adults from the family there? But that would be slightly unusual for a party for such a young child. And if that’s the case she should she been clearer.
I was also wondering if she typed something then didn’t respond if she might think she has sent it but actually hasn’t? That’s happened to me a few times.
Anyway I see you’ve texted again and that seems perfectly acceptable and all should be fine now don’t worry

I wouldn't worry too much either way, it doesn't sound like a big deal. If you're an overthinker, be aware that party mum will be dealing with food / timings / activities on the day and may not have time to talk to you. Having hosted and attended 4th birthday parties it's no reflection on you she's probably just busy, and frankly I wouldn't want to be faffing with back and forth about plus ones for parents I barely knew. If you want to foster a friendship for the children, back off with the messages now, then after the party message to thank her for a lovely party and suggest a play date one weekend.

Weird & I’d be annoyed if two parents turned up at my house for a small child’s birthday.

We like spending time together. We like chatting to each other on the way back from the school run or picking up the kids together. We like going places together, even if they're 'boring' places. We don't always do it, of course not, but we don't really view those things as terrible things to be avoided or that one person has to be 'saved' from. They're just life things, and they're often more enjoyable when we do them together. I don't really get the sense of dread when it comes to parties or school runs or supermarket trips, so maybe that's why 🤷‍♀️

I don’t ’hate’ it. I just really don’t get it.
Why would you bother to waste your time with it? Surely one of you could be doing something more useful with your time than traipsing round supermarkets or suffering through a kids birthday party. 🤷🏼‍♀️

MN hates parents doing things together. Parties, going to the supermarket, doing the nursery or school drop-off or pick-up or any other day-to-day stuff.

With our first child we would both go if the party was in a hall or soft play. My husband didn’t do many nursery runs etc and was keen to meet some other parents. Most other couples did the same (parties at houses were unusual but only one of us would go to them).

when we had our second, we took it in turns. I didn’t take non-invited child to hall/house parties, too awkward.

Soft play, I’d pay the non-invited child in (and there was usually a sibling of another guest they could play with).

I don't understand why people say children's parties are 'family time' the children should be playing with their friends at the party. A successful party is when you have very little to do with them as they're having so much fun.

I know one family who say that weekends are 'family time' but it's just a cover because the dad doesn't like the mum going anywhere without him as he's insanely jealous. We went trick or treating last year, 4 mums and the children and he called her about 5 times to 'check' how she was. He tells anyone who listens at these parties though how he is amazing as he wants to spend so much time with his kids.

We take it in turns. Maybe I can suggest that you have set the bar very low for not even considering that a man takes his own child to a party?