Is it unreasonable for both parents to attend kids party

I always thought it was odd when 2 parents turned up with one child.

Never understood why one parent would willingly go to a noisy kids party when they could have a valuable 3 hours without any family responsibility, and guilt free as the child would be in their element at a party!

@RedRoss86 if he wants to get out the house, socialise and see what the child is like at a party then maybe he can take the child?

There seems to be such an assumption that mum has to go.

The way you describe your party/ open house situation suggests that it isn't tiny but some people have small houses that would get overwhelmed if both parents attend.

It's kinda strange to worry so much about this. It's really not a thing.
I'm glad you have nothing worse in your life to worry about.
If I want my husband with me at a party because he works all the time and it's nice to have a chat with him does that make me weird?
I don't know how light hearted people are being or if they mean in but this is kinda silly!

I seem to be in the minority here but this wouldn't bother me in the slightest. However I would say we have quite an open house in that there's always alot of comings & goings with friends / friends of the kids dropping in / neighbours.

We host alot of parties so someone bringing a hubby wouldn't bother me.

To play devil's advocate here, maybe he wants to get out of house too & socialise a bit or see what the 4 yr old is like at a birthday party with their pals.
If the little one is only 4, parties are probably still a 'new' thing.

It's when they hit 7 or 8 and you've done 10-20 birthday parties that year that ye finally get to start doing a 'drop and run' and ye think THANK GOD 🤣

I’ve had that happen, it’s so cheeky, one in particular frog marched her 2 uninvited kids over for party bags because they were whinging they didn’t get one and their invited sibling had, I’d only accounted for those invited so I told her sorry they can grab some leftover sweets off the table if they want but I’ve no spare bags as I didn’t expect extra kids 😏

I've known some parents to both attend parties. In fact I know one couple that attend ALL parties together. it is but weird but not really a problem I don't think. It's a great excuse for one parent to get some downtime (or clean the house!) if you only have one child...

Generally speaking OP it's fine. On a personal level I find it annoying when couples can't do anything without each other. How will you make friends on a 121 basis if DH or DW are by your side? You'll get a people coming on saying it's ok they are the couples that do this.
No one ever wants to say it's a bit rude. Which it is.

I think it’s weird when I see both parents attend, mainly because I think of all the jobs/errands etc one of you could be doing whilst the other is losing hours of their life at the party!! Each to their own though!
I think in this case you’re over thinking it.

I think you are just overthinking it. Don’t worry one or two or even 0 parents is fine. I can guarantee she or you won’t be thinking about it in a months time. Like others have said my parties at home always had a mixture of one or two parents ( especially so when the child is pre school age). It’s not weird or odd at all.

Blimey. I had no idea there were unwritten social norms regarding children's parties! 😂 Had my son's 5th party last week at our house, most couples stayed, one person dropped off- it was great to see them actually and have a few extra pairs of hands to help. I made sure I got enough food for everyone (adults too) I would have thought anything goes unless specified otherwise. I have to go to another children's party tomorrow- hubby's got a free pass but I don't know anyone else. (Fun times!)

OP I would say your problem here is more rooted to your anxiety to make mums friends. Not judging I totally get it, I'm the same. At the end of the day you don't know how she feels she might think great or not so great. But now you have all these messages it's going to go round your head about whether it was ok..if I were you regardless of if she says yes I would go by myself if making mam friends is so important and it will stress you out less

Can I just ask why you find it weird when parents do that? A girl in my son's reception class is an only child and always has both parents at pick up and I always wistfully think how wonderful. Every day they both get to greet her and her face lights up when she sees them. They are such a tight little team.
One of us is usually dashing across to get the kids whilst the other works or watches the baby, we just don't have the opportunity to do that. I would love it if life was slow and calm enough to just potter across together and have a chat.

When families are separated all week either through work or school, why wouldn't they want to spend time together at the weekend? When my son was in reception and was invited to hall parties, it was a great chance to meet the parents, often both parents would come. I thought it was a positive thing as it showed the dads in particular wanted to be involved too.

I’m Indian and my expectation is always that both parents and siblings attend - I hate having to specify it because it’s normal, natural. Kids parties should be a family day out - it’s how we help our kids build and foster social connections.

I should have added in my post that the father who was devouring the food asked for beer rather than tea/coffee !

I would say 90% of parties my daughter attended until year 4 both parents if could turned up, it then became a parent social able as well as the kids party. It was a great way of getting to know other parents/new friends

I think some folks think it’s a party for them. The op responded we would love to come. The parent is only there as a guardian, they are not an invitee. It is a party for the kids. And many peoples houses don’t have the space for all the adults turning up too, it just makes the whole thing stressful.

I find it really rude to ask to bring someone to a party, doesn’t matter if a kid or an adult, the invite is for the person invited, not the whole family/

I agree with this. I attended on my own but others attended as a couple and I never thought anything of it. When I had a party for my little one mam and dad showed up for some kids and then the dads made friends with my DH. I completely think you are overthinking this but If no it's not a friend you want anyway. You should be able to be yourself around your friends X

Don't overthink it!! I would think absolutely nothing of receiving that kind of message. She probably started typing and was distracted well by her nearly 4 year old!
I can't remember the last time I could type a full message uninterrupted with my preschoolers here, just typing this my DD3 is shouting mummy from the other room.
That's a good second message you sent, if space is limited she will be glad there's not too many adults, and understand you need help as v pregnant.

I expect you’ll be starting a lot of threads over the coming years Op on the basis of this one

Last year one of my DGC had a party at home as they have a big garden and it was in the summer . DD was amazed when a child appeared with both parents and 2 siblings ! The father started hoovering up the food and was less than happy when my SIL quietly asked him to remember it was for the children ! They had offered parents tea/coffee and biscuits but apparently he was hungry !

Yes, that’s the other issue. When both parents attend and they have more than one child then they’re bringing extra kids too, which is definitely not ok unless the invitation states that siblings are welcome (which would be rare). A child’s party is not a family day out.

The family I mentioned above have two children, and bring both children to all the parties, without asking if it is ok.

Absolutely!… It’s very weird and a little bit pathetic to go as a couple. They’re shit obligations, so why would you.l both want to endure that?

We used to take turns. Then as soon as they turned 6 we’d drop and run! I had well behaved kids though

I've never given it a moments thought but on reflection we always fly solo and most people do. For parties at home it was always tricky if both parents, sometimes with siblings, turned up as you generally cater for the kids and offer drinks to the parents. It's easier when they get to the 'drop and go' stage imo.

But that said I wouldn't have thought less of a couple for coming together, I expect she started to reply, got distracted and forgot...I do this ALL the time 🤣

@Smartiepants79
I just can’t really understand why any family would want to waste 2 adults time on attending a child’s party. There is about 20 things I could think of doing that are either more interesting or more useful.

Totally agree, all this twee nonsense 'we love to see our little one have fun' 'it's family time'
I've raised 4DC and there was always much eye rolling at the couples turning up usually with the performative parenting and constant oh look you have a balloon shrieks.

In her defence, if she’s anything like me she possibly did. I find so many half typed or unsent message responses to people because my kids are annoying little bickering asswipes a lot of the time or ask for food or help with something etc so yeah there’s always a chance she wasn’t lying if she’s anything like me 😂