To think that marriage is an outdated concept?

"Be respectful." Pffft. Don't start threads and then scold people who disagree with you.

Marriage is a legal and financial contract that has an important role in protecting women and children from the actions of shit men. No-one has to enter into that contract if they think it's outdated.

So YABU.

There’s legal protection and benefits for married couples that singles, even with kids, don’t get.

It’s a personal choice as to whether you want to get married, it’s not law you have to be married.

If you don’t like the idea of the institution for yourself luckily you don’t have to partake.

Astounding ignorance of Law OP

Mines great thanks.

you must be doing it wrong OP

It gives you legal rights and protection that you can't get any other way.

Start of Q4 and admin need to get the site activity levels up for advertising revenue calculations?

Any woman with kids who doesn’t have a ring on her finger is living extremely dangerously in my opinion.

No. Yawn. Read the 100's of threads about this. It's a good thing.

But it's perfectly fine if the man earns more?

🤯

What is with all the godey one sentence statements on here today?

I quite like mine, thanks.

Posters sharing this view usually want to get married but their bloke is reluctant. It’s a bit protesting too much.

You argue marriage is outdated and unnecessary. Why did, in some places still do, gay people fight so hard to gain their right to legally marry if the whole thing boils down to a pointless bit of paper. They could have surely saved themselves their investment of emotion, time and money by not bothering if it's so unnecessary.

It's not the bit of paper. It's what it represents. Love, commitment, security, legal rights and protections. But you already know that's what it means, even if it's only to others and not yourself.

Anyway, as a debating point, it's a really old chestnut.
Oft, but not always, trotted out by commitment phobes and people selfish with money when their oblivious fuckbuddy partner wants marriage.
Also described as selfish shits who want the option to cheat and/or piss off without warning or consequence.

Why not go the whole hog and say no birth certificates because that's also just a bit of paper. No child support then either. Result👍 DNA test result letter...bit of paper...ignore.👍 Letter from CMS bit of paper...ignore👍

I think too many women sleepwalk into marriage without understanding the legal implications of what they're signing up for.

I think too many women sleepwalk into having DC and becoming financially dependent on their partners without understanding the legal implications of not being married.

@YourAgileUmberPoet you need to educate yourself about the legal implications of marriage before starting such goady threads.

And there you go, proving the point of the poster above you.

It should be easy to get a divorce but, thanks to having been married in the first place, the person coming out of the marriage in the weakest financial position, be it through illness or because they have given up or lost ground at work to bring up a family or care for their parents, has rights to not necessarily walk away penniless. If that couple hadn't been married, that default carer could be left homeless and on a very limited income.

What an uneducated opinion. Hopefully after reading all these posts you will now have more knowledge on the subject.

It's not just a piece of paper, it's a legal binding contract, I wouldn't say it's an outdated concept, but whether you require one or not is totally personal choice between couples if they feel they need it or not, if you can't see yourselves being together for a long time then there's really no point IMO.

I work in the funeral industry and I see it time and time again where partners who have been together for sometimes decades (but crucially, never married), are completely excluded from the funeral of their partner because they aren't the legal next of kin.. in the worst case scenarios the 'family' who are next of kin, who may not have spoken to the deceased for YEARS, do the opposite of what the person wished and don't even let their partner visit in the chapel of rest to say goodbye, or have any say about the funeral or even decide what happens with their ashes afterwards etc.

It's heartbreaking, but I've seen it happen plenty of times to differing degrees to know that marriage isn't just a piece of paper.

It depends what part of the concept you consider outdated.

The bit of paper as you put it is a public declaration and recognition of your relationship, and it conveys significant rights. For us, one of the most important was recognition of next-of-kin status. Without that bit of paper you could find yourself aged 50yo having lived with someone you love for 25 years and yet if you're taken seriously unwell it will be you 75yo mother making decisions as to your care.

How did you come to that extremely bizarre conclusion?

I know and this interchangeable spouse with partner or bf/gf. And step parents that just aren’t because there is no marriage. You need the in-law but to be a family member.

Until there is a legal issue. Then your 'bit of paper' can be worth millions

Sure just like housing documents. Piece of papers. Chuck them out.

🙄🙄🙄

It's hardly outdated, it has all kinds of important legal and financial implications.

When people live together as a couple, especially if they have kids, they start to make decisions as a family - that is, they will do things for the good of the family as a whole which might not be as good for them separately.

This is not a bad thing, it's good for families and their kids to work together in this way.

If couples do this without being married, there is a real risks that one at least will be penalized at some point for making family oriented decisions.

Marriage helps ensure that they benefits and costs are spread out more fairly. And it also means that people have an opportunity to reflect on this union rather than walking into it accidentally. (Even if some choose not to take that opportunity.)

Lots of people think this, until they end up 10 years down the line, having given up their job or gone part time to take care of the home and children, with an adulterous not-spouse, and find themselves penniless and devoid of any rights to the wealth their not-spouse has accumulated off the back of their work.

Or until their not-spouse ends up in a coma or for another reason, in need of a next of kin to make a decision for them, and it's not them, so they have to rely on the relationship with the not-in-laws if they are to have any say.

Or if the worst happens and they find that none of their late not-spouses property belongs to them.

Well, presumably nobody is forcing you to sign that piece of paper?

I wouldn’t give up your full time job any time soon to look after children, if I was you though!