Page 8 | To think that marriage is an outdated concept?

StarDolphins · 09/10/2024 22:09

Flugelb1nder · 09/10/2024 17:08

Whatevs.

Embarrassed for you

PassingStranger · 09/10/2024 22:05

Yes because how.many.marry and divorce.
Very few take the vows seriously these days.
For better or worse, in sickness and in health etc.
Marriage isn't what it used to be.
People jumpship easily these days.

What's also.outdated is the woman taking the man's name why?

BloodOfTheRaven · 09/10/2024 22:02

YourAgileUmberPoet · 09/10/2024 17:11

I noticed your comment came through within seconds after I posted this. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I’d appreciate if you avoid jumping to conclusions just because our views may differ. Be respectful.

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TickingAlongNicely · 09/10/2024 22:00

That "piece of paper" has

allowed me to live abroad with my partner
had tax implications for both of us
affected the nationality of our elder daughter
allowed me access to a spouses petion if DH had died
entitled us to family housing from DHs employer.

But yeah.. its outdated and worthhless

Whyherewego · 09/10/2024 21:54

coldcallerbaiter · 09/10/2024 17:32

It is a contract and bestows rights.
If it was not serious then people would not be wary if it or not want to marry. You have to think carefully if it is for you.

I think many people don't actually think about it in these terms. I didn't. But people should. They think about the love or the faithfulness and the fact it's based in religion. But people really need to be alive to the contract that you are undertaking

DancingPhantomsOnTheTerrace · 09/10/2024 21:50

a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything anymore.

Well there can be significant tax advantages.

Plenty of people get married without fully understanding the legalities their signing up for. And plenty of people don't get married, and don't realise the legal aspects they're missing.
Whatever people do (get married or not), they should understand the implications of that decision. Not getting married makes a lot of sense for some people. Less so for others.

TheDandyLion · 09/10/2024 21:49

Marriage for romance and love is a fairly recent concept. It's always been a contract or 'just a piece of paper'

missmollygreen · 09/10/2024 21:36

YourAgileUmberPoet · 09/10/2024 17:07

In today’s world, marriage just seems like a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything anymore. AIBU to think that marriage is outdated and unnecessary?

Don't get married then simple.

As for others getting married, why do you care?

MinervaMcGonagallsCat · 09/10/2024 21:28

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/10/2024 17:07

Goady bollocks.

As so often happens- first reply nails it

DearestGentleReader · 09/10/2024 21:25

The fact that FIL and his partner of over 20 years never married is about to cost their children tens of thousands of pounds now that they have both passed.

cuddlebear · 09/10/2024 21:02

Well you could argue that any contract is “just a piece of paper.”

Contracts tend to be very useful however when one party decides not to abide by the agreement. You would have to be thick as shit to think otherwise.

HappiestSleeping · 09/10/2024 21:01

since1986 · 09/10/2024 18:24

Lets see how long you manage to do that :)

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Seven years so far and she's still the best. Also, we didn't meet until later in life (first time for both of us), so we know our own minds, and didn't get married for any other reason than we wanted to.

I get why you would say that, but not all men are cheating arseholes. Reading mumsnet makes me cringe at times though.

DragonGypsyDoris · 09/10/2024 20:59

YourAgileUmberPoet · 09/10/2024 17:11

I noticed your comment came through within seconds after I posted this. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I’d appreciate if you avoid jumping to conclusions just because our views may differ. Be respectful.

Show quote history

Are you just trolling?

LastNight1Dreamt1WentToManderleyAgain · 09/10/2024 20:26

Marry me 🎶 I promise it can be beautiful #Ifeelasongcomingon

BunnyLake · 09/10/2024 20:23

Simonjt · 09/10/2024 19:38

Its an example of straight privildge really, not thinking marriage is important anymore. In some places the legal bits aren't as important, where we live we don't need marriage to have the same rights, but those rights unmarried people have here don't carry on if you leave the country to go on holiday etc, so its still very risky.

I got married as I wanted to belong to my husband, and I love belonging to him, on top of that it provides added protection if one of us decides to cheat, be abusive etc. It means in cases of serious ill health our families can’t prevent us visiting each other in hospital, makinf choices about care homes and funerals, the bits we like to keep hidden away as we don’t want to think about them.

OP how many friends do you have who never saw their partner again after they were admitted to hospital, never got to go to their funeral, or even keep any of their belongings? Ask a gay person, we know loads.

I remember an article years ago about a devoted gay couple who had been together for decades. When one of them died the surviving partner got nothing and he lost his home . It was really heartbreaking. It was quite a few decades ago now so I don’t remember the details except how sad I felt for the remaining, quite elderly man.

MattSmithsBowTie · 09/10/2024 20:22

If you don’t want to get married then don’t but I don’t think it’s outdated. People who say it’s just a piece of paper show their ignorance.

HotDogJumpingFrogHaveACookie · 09/10/2024 19:42

The beauty of choice is that everyone can opt for whatever suits them and their preferences.

But if you choose to believe that marriage is an outdated concept, just don't complain about not having the legal protections and rights which are afforded to those who marry.

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/10/2024 19:42

YourAgileUmberPoet · 09/10/2024 18:34

I haven’t scolded anyone for disagreeing with me - most people in this 3-page thread have shared their differing opinions respectfully. I specifically addressed the individual who commented within seconds of me posting, labelling it as “goady bollocks” without any constructive input. It’s interesting that you’ve overlooked that context.

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But - it IS goady bollocks.

And telling someone to be respectful IS scolding.

Simonjt · 09/10/2024 19:38

Its an example of straight privildge really, not thinking marriage is important anymore. In some places the legal bits aren't as important, where we live we don't need marriage to have the same rights, but those rights unmarried people have here don't carry on if you leave the country to go on holiday etc, so its still very risky.

I got married as I wanted to belong to my husband, and I love belonging to him, on top of that it provides added protection if one of us decides to cheat, be abusive etc. It means in cases of serious ill health our families can’t prevent us visiting each other in hospital, makinf choices about care homes and funerals, the bits we like to keep hidden away as we don’t want to think about them.

OP how many friends do you have who never saw their partner again after they were admitted to hospital, never got to go to their funeral, or even keep any of their belongings? Ask a gay person, we know loads.

offyoujollywelltrot · 09/10/2024 18:37

YourAgileUmberPoet · 09/10/2024 17:07

In today’s world, marriage just seems like a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything anymore. AIBU to think that marriage is outdated and unnecessary?

Yep. I think it's utterly ridiculous.

allaboutthat · 09/10/2024 18:36

This comes up every few weeks on MN I love being married personally, others might prefer being single. Each to their own.

Original poster

YourAgileUmberPoet · 09/10/2024 18:34

Geranen · 09/10/2024 18:19

"Be respectful." Pffft. Don't start threads and then scold people who disagree with you.

Marriage is a legal and financial contract that has an important role in protecting women and children from the actions of shit men. No-one has to enter into that contract if they think it's outdated.

So YABU.

I haven’t scolded anyone for disagreeing with me - most people in this 3-page thread have shared their differing opinions respectfully. I specifically addressed the individual who commented within seconds of me posting, labelling it as “goady bollocks” without any constructive input. It’s interesting that you’ve overlooked that context.

OP posts:

LastNight1Dreamt1WentToManderleyAgain · 09/10/2024 18:29

Marry me. You won't be disappointed.

since1986 · 09/10/2024 18:24

HappiestSleeping · 09/10/2024 17:12

Opinions are like arse holes. Everybody has one.

Mine is that, apart from all the legal stuff, it still means something to me. And it enables me to signify to my wife that she is the most important person in the world to me. I know there are many ways to do that, and that marriage is just one of them, but I quite like the whole "forsaking all others etc".

Lets see how long you manage to do that :)

DrCoconut · 09/10/2024 18:22

@PortiasBiscuit got to disagree there. I have kids and my divorce cost me a lot of money. That money could have been spent on my kids, particularly since I receive negligible maintenance from my ex now. If I hadn't been married I could have just walked away and not owed him anything. Every couple should take proper advice and decide based on their specific circumstances.
.