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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that marriage is an outdated concept?

267 replies

YourAgileUmberPoet · 09/10/2024 17:07

In today’s world, marriage just seems like a piece of paper that doesn’t mean anything anymore. AIBU to think that marriage is outdated and unnecessary?

OP posts:
Theeyeballsinthesky · 09/10/2024 17:20

Well lucky for you OP it’s not compulsory so if you don’t want to get married then don't

Viviennemary · 09/10/2024 17:18

So easy to get a divorce. Marriage doesn't mean much.

Aposterhasnoname · 09/10/2024 17:17

Every so often one of these threads pop up, and everyone patiently explains to the utterly clueless op that marriage is a legal contract with very many implications, including, but not limited to, inheritance tax and spouses pensions. They also point out that there is a huge pile of paperwork required to replicate some, but by no means all, of the rights gained by just the one “piece of paper” required for marriage. At this point I think anyone coming out with this tired old “can’t see the point of marriage” trope is either thick, a troll, or have a partner who refuses to marry them and are trying to convince themselves it’s fine.

Elphame · 09/10/2024 17:17

Not in the slightest.

It's a legal contract that protects both parties as well as carrying quite a lot of tax benefits.

Nothing quite like seeing a grieving person banned from the bedside of their dying long term partner by their legal next of kin either. Unfortunately, this is not uncommon.

DadJoke · 09/10/2024 17:16

It offers a formal framework which protects the interests of the couple and their children. It means that a parent staying at home (usually a woman) is financially protected in the event of a split.

It is not for everyone, but for many it serves a useful purpose.

Sunlounger25 · 09/10/2024 17:16

I agree with you OP. I'd like to see it completely overhauled and to separate the legal from the emotional. I think too many women sleepwalk into marriage without understanding the legal implications of what they're signing up for.

Marriage was a social construct created when most women were SAHM and men were the breadwinners - also for a time when we all didn't live for so long. Thankfully that is changing in most societies and I think this hasn't changed with it.

Lentilweaver · 09/10/2024 17:14

Why do you think this, OP? What would be your suggestion to protect the lower earner/ SAHP in a partnership, which is still nearly always women?

SophiaJ8 · 09/10/2024 17:12

Nope, I like being married.

Each to their own.

HappiestSleeping · 09/10/2024 17:12

Opinions are like arse holes. Everybody has one.

Mine is that, apart from all the legal stuff, it still means something to me. And it enables me to signify to my wife that she is the most important person in the world to me. I know there are many ways to do that, and that marriage is just one of them, but I quite like the whole "forsaking all others etc".

Didimum · 09/10/2024 17:11

Strongly disagree. It has very protective benefits that are still very relevant and necessary today. It's also has emotional significance which shouldn't be downplayed.

Gettingannoyednow · 09/10/2024 17:11

It's outdated if the woman earns more than the man does 🙂

YourAgileUmberPoet · 09/10/2024 17:11

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/10/2024 17:07

Goady bollocks.

I noticed your comment came through within seconds after I posted this. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I’d appreciate if you avoid jumping to conclusions just because our views may differ. Be respectful.

OP posts:
PaperGloves · 09/10/2024 17:10

You’d have to be pretty under-informed to be unaware of why marriage, outdated or not, remains legally important.

ComtesseDeSpair · 09/10/2024 17:09

It’s a legal institution which was developed in the context of very different socioeconomic circumstances. Yes, many aspects of it are by nature outdated - but indeed, many aspects of it have changed in reflection of that (same sex marriage; legal divorce; pre nups and post nups; civil ceremonies etc.) That doesn’t mean it’s unnecessary: it’s a legal institution which still serves many valid purposes, and which just needs to continue changing as society does.

Flugelb1nder · 09/10/2024 17:08

Whatevs.

TeenToTwenties · 09/10/2024 17:08

Marriage is a legal contract.

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/10/2024 17:07

Goady bollocks.

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