To not like being called by forename by kids

The idea that relaxation only happens if the first name is used is a bit odd. Children, ime, don't care that much what their friend's mum is called- they just got on and played or whatever.

Now that both dss are older, their friends are still relaxed, and either call me by my first name, or a couple still call me Mrs Surname (their choice), or just avoid calling me anything.

my bestie's older child is now 40. they have called me by my first name ever since they could speak.

How fucking condescending.

I’m an older parent, but this in no way seems normal to me.

Kids nowadays can't manage to relax if they have to call adults Mr/Mrs, the poor dears.

I think it's ruddy cheeky of a child to call me by my first name the first time we meet and I think people go a bit further in life if they follow the basic guidelines for good manners — which last time I checked involved calling your friend's parents Mr or Mrs Jones at first. If they say 'Oh, don't call me Mr/Mrs, call me Jane/ Mike' then you call them Jane or Mike. But if they don't tell your their forenames and invite you to use them, you don't and they remain Mr and Mrs Jones. This is how students at good schools and certainly in the private sector will have been brought up.

I had a client-facing role in one period of my career and I called all Mr, Mrs or Ms until such time as they suggested we make it less formal. I got a lot of positive feedback around it: people felt respected. Particularly older people, who get talked down to a lot.

Their parents obviously refer to you by your name so it would be very confusing to them if you said they can't use that name.

A couple of days ago a guy fixing the road said "Hello, Patrick's mum!" He and Patrick are 23....

I think YABU because the setting is informal ; your son's friends. In a professional setting (school etc) though I would expect children to adress you as Mrs Uptight.

Also since it's so cringe worthy now when it was perfectly fine 30-50 years ago, if the culture changes again in the next generation, what we think of as normal now would also be seen as cringe worthy by our kids. So lets not get too righteous about things either way 😀

My parents used to try and insist that we addressed other adults as Mr. or Mrs. Surname when I was growing up in the seventies and early eighties.

It was cringeworthy and quite old fashioned even back then except for addressing teachers at school etc. or in a very formal setting.

I really couldn't get too het up over this. It's your name. I would even introduce myself to young children by my first name. Why not? I am 58 now.

I prefer it - better than "son's name Mum"

This was my upbringing, too (calling friends' parents Mr or Mrs lastname). I am 54. The generation above me rarely called the parents of their friends by their first name, so I find it strange that so many people are baffled that it's uncomfortable for some people.

I still can't get used to calling my best friend's Dad Michael. He will always be Mr. Lastname in my head. I do call him Michael because I can get over the awkwardness.

I do admit that it felt a bit strange when one of my older son's friends called me by my first name. I didn't think it was rude, it just felt strange. He's 25 now.

With DS2 it's been first name all the way.

I don't want to be called Henry's mum, that would be weird, and I don't share the same surname as my kids, so if they called me Mrs Henrysdad that would also be annoying.

Equally you can be formal and still feel relaxed.

It didn’t make me uncomfortable to call my friend’s parents Mr and Mrs.

My DS is mid twenties and some of his friends refer to me as “Jamie’s mum” as an affectionate/jokey thing, as if they were all still at school. It makes me laugh.

Mrs Bear would be very odd. I taught teenagers who just called everyone “Miss” or “Sir”

My DS's best friend spent so much time here when they were at primary that he spontaneously started calling me 'Other Mum' ❤😆

Perhaps it's cultural? I had a chat with some friends who aren't British. While they were very understanding of children calling adults by their first name in the UK, it was quite weird to them personally and would certainly not be expected behaviour in their home countries.

One of my daughter's classmates in Year 5 passed me in the street with his grandmother. He said 'Hello Sophie's Mum' and I thought, 'oh, what a polite young lad', but he got a clip round the ear from his granny for not calling me Aunty. Poor kids can't win!

Sophie is not her real name, before anyone comments about revealing info.

That was my upbringing too but I think these days, when it's more common than it was then for parents to not be married, and/or have different surnames to their DC then first names are simpler?
My eldest has had one particular friend for about 6 years now. The mum and I are now friends too but I didn't know until about a year ago that she isn't married and doesn't have the same surname as her DC. So all the times before that when I called the school to say she was collecting my DC I've said Mrs A, not knowing she's actually Ms B.

“Growing up that was deemed very impolite and disrespectful”

exactly.

Not hierarchical, not a power play.
Just being polite and respectful to one’s elders.

My youngest DD’s friends used to call me ‘Mrs Mummy’ when they were in early years of primary school. Still makes me smile now thinking about it. Must admit I’m always a little taken aback whenever young children call me by my first name. Growing up that was deemed very impolite and disrespectful. I don’t think it’s a power thing, just a bit sad that we’re losing that part of our culture. Maybe I’m old fashioned but think it’s important for kids to show a bit of respect to adults.

I had a temp job at a very stuffy and old fashioned charity in 2005 and all the volunteers (posh old ladies) wanted to be Mrs Jonathan Smith in correspondence. You weren't allowed to call them Mrs Sheila Smith. One of them bollocked me for this once, "I am NOT divorced!". But this was seen as completely barmy even then.

I've never been anything other than Firstname even professionally.

Have we regressed 40/50 years? That’s a very old fashioned view. Why would you want your children’s friends to be formal with you and not relaxed? You can be informal but still respectful.