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Original poster

To not like being called by forename by kids

395 replies

BreakingDad77 · 09/10/2024 14:36

I don't know but somehow it feels odd when sons friends year 6 age range calling me by my forename. I haven't said anything but part of me feels I would prefer Mr surname or "sons name - dad".

OP posts:
BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 · 10/10/2024 19:56

My kids friends call me Becky. Because that's my name. If they started calling me Mrs Surname or so and so's mum I'd say "call me Becky"
Do you often behave as if it's 1950?

Calliopespa · 10/10/2024 19:52

JustMeAndTheFish · 10/10/2024 19:34

I always remember when I worked briefly in a nursing home about 30 years ago. A new and very elderly lady came in and her family made a point of telling us all that she was to be known as Mrs Jones.
As soon as they’d gone she said please call me Jane… everyone else calls me mother, granny or Mrs Jones. Nobody ever calls me by my name. I though it was very sad.

To be fair most people have friends to give their name a good airing, so I think I she was an unusual case.

JustMeAndTheFish · 10/10/2024 19:34

I always remember when I worked briefly in a nursing home about 30 years ago. A new and very elderly lady came in and her family made a point of telling us all that she was to be known as Mrs Jones.
As soon as they’d gone she said please call me Jane… everyone else calls me mother, granny or Mrs Jones. Nobody ever calls me by my name. I though it was very sad.

MrsResponder · 10/10/2024 19:31

BreakingDad77 · 09/10/2024 14:36

I don't know but somehow it feels odd when sons friends year 6 age range calling me by my forename. I haven't said anything but part of me feels I would prefer Mr surname or "sons name - dad".

Reminds me of this from the great Maya Angelou.

cantbebothered101 · 10/10/2024 18:58

Ah stop is this actually a joke! What century are you living in 🙈 Would you like to travel backwards when children should be seen and not heard??

sunshinemode · 10/10/2024 18:56

I think there are cultural norms to this too. My son's father is from an Asian culture where it would be wholly inappropriate to call an adult by first name so he grew up calling all my friends Auntie and Uncle, their children followed suit and called me Auntie. When he went to school the parents of Asian and African children were delighted by his "manners" and I was either Auntie or son's name's Mum. Now he is much older and some still call me Auntie while other's are just starting to use my first name.

Landloper · 10/10/2024 18:04

BreakingDad77 · 09/10/2024 14:36

I don't know but somehow it feels odd when sons friends year 6 age range calling me by my forename. I haven't said anything but part of me feels I would prefer Mr surname or "sons name - dad".

Spot on. Not unreasonable.

Jayne35 · 10/10/2024 17:56

I wouldn't bother me, my grandchildren all call me nanny first name.

PennywisePoundFoolish · 10/10/2024 17:53

RecklessGoddess · 10/10/2024 17:51

OMG, all I can think of is Kevin and Perry, where Perry always calls Kevin's parents Mr and Mrs Patterson 🤣🤣. On a more serious note, I think it's extremely old fashioned for kids to call their friends parents Mr and Mrs..... And the same for calling your mum's friend aunty, like I had to in the 70s.

Yes, please, no thank you, Mrs Patterson

RecklessGoddess · 10/10/2024 17:51

OMG, all I can think of is Kevin and Perry, where Perry always calls Kevin's parents Mr and Mrs Patterson 🤣🤣. On a more serious note, I think it's extremely old fashioned for kids to call their friends parents Mr and Mrs..... And the same for calling your mum's friend aunty, like I had to in the 70s.

Snowflakeslayer · 10/10/2024 17:48

BreakingDad77 · 09/10/2024 14:36

I don't know but somehow it feels odd when sons friends year 6 age range calling me by my forename. I haven't said anything but part of me feels I would prefer Mr surname or "sons name - dad".

Using your name is properly addressing you? Strange you’d think otherwise.

Barney60 · 10/10/2024 17:48

With you OP i think its more respectful, but then it could be because im older, i still do it to friends parents, unless they tell me to use first name, although not many left now.

BooBooDoodle · 10/10/2024 17:47

My youngest calls me by my name and I love it. He is a character and it’s just him all over to be that extra bit cheeky. My eldest son thinks it’s awful so he just calls me mum. My son’s friends call me ‘Clifford’s mum or Albert’s mum’. Formal would make me cringe to be honest.

nosleepforme · 10/10/2024 06:36

raydavis · 09/10/2024 15:21

Why do you need to be friends with someone to use their first name?

Also, sure respect is 2 way? So don't call the children miss X or master Y? Or is respect only one way in an adult/child interaction?

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Is this a serious question? If you don’t know that all ppl deserve respect then that’s just sad…
but respect to a 2 yo is not the same to an 82 yo, this is basic! The 2 yo gets respect because they deserve to be treated nicely as a person, the 82 yo also deserves respect because they are an elder.
i guess that’s why the world is so immoral, ppl just don’t get that respect to those older than us is important!

Roosnoodles · 09/10/2024 21:57

Calliopespa · 09/10/2024 20:58

Um … wasn’t I backing you up/ agreeing with you?

I think I read your post properly - apologies if not - but maybe you misread mine?

Edited
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Sorry. Me not reading your post properly probably from just being told I’m old. I think I’m going to bed now. 🙄

Fink · 09/10/2024 21:31

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 09/10/2024 21:26

Yes!
I was brought up in 1970s and all my parents close pals were aunty /uncle... It was a surprise when I was older to discover I wasn't related to them!

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We dropped the Aunty/Uncle for non-related adults relatively young, but old enough that I remember being confused as to who was family and who wasn't. But there was one man we continued to call Uncle all through his life. He lived with my grandparents and I had always thought he was my Grandad's brother. It was only when he died (when I was in my 20s) that I discovered at his funeral that he didn't have our surname and in fact was unrelated. It came as quite a shock!

Runnerinthenight · 09/10/2024 21:28

MrsSunshine2b · 09/10/2024 21:16

I was out somewhere with friends at 11, shopping or at the park or whatever, and another friend's parent arrived and started trying to parent me, I'd be quite disturbed to be frank.

Unless she's specifically made an agreement with their parents that she's taking the children somewhere, she isn't in loco parentis.

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I didn't allow mine to go out solo until they were at secondary.

Whatever you say. I disagree but it's not worth arguing with you because you're always right.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 09/10/2024 21:26

wonderings2 · 09/10/2024 15:03

I had a few of my mums friends that I called Aunty and Uncle, I thought it was really common. I was born in the 80's so I wonder if it still is now?

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Yes!
I was brought up in 1970s and all my parents close pals were aunty /uncle... It was a surprise when I was older to discover I wasn't related to them!

MrsSunshine2b · 09/10/2024 21:16

Runnerinthenight · 09/10/2024 19:42

Well we're talking Year 6 children here aren't we.

She absolutely has authority to set rules and look after them, in any location where she is in loco parentis!

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I was out somewhere with friends at 11, shopping or at the park or whatever, and another friend's parent arrived and started trying to parent me, I'd be quite disturbed to be frank.

Unless she's specifically made an agreement with their parents that she's taking the children somewhere, she isn't in loco parentis.

MereDintofPandiculation · 09/10/2024 21:12

CurlewKate · 09/10/2024 20:12

@MereDintofPandiculation "I call my father by his first name. It was too confusing to continue to call him "Dad" when DC knew DH as "Dad"."

Did you not notice that every other child you met managed to negotiate this issue without confusion?

Where did I say it was the kids who were confused?

I can't remember when I made the change. It's 20 years since my DC were actually children.

MereDintofPandiculation · 09/10/2024 21:06

Calliopespa · 09/10/2024 18:54

That’s exactly how I took your meaning and exactly what I was meaning in my response: it isn’t rubbish that the concept of respect has evolved and is redolent of a human rights type interpretation.

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OK, thanks!

Calliopespa · 09/10/2024 20:58

Roosnoodles · 09/10/2024 20:37

Does anyone read posts anymore? Like I said in my original post. It’s of a time and dependant of where you grew up. Obviously you didn’t grow up in the same area as myself.

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Um … wasn’t I backing you up/ agreeing with you?

I think I read your post properly - apologies if not - but maybe you misread mine?

Whothefuckdoesthat · 09/10/2024 20:54

OP, I don’t like it either. I had it drummed into me as a child that calling adults by their first name was very rude, unless you were specifically told to do so.

I still find myself ever so slightly wincing internally if a child calls me by my first name, but times have moved on and although I much prefer aunty Who by children who are close to me, I bite my tongue, smile and respond, knowing that it isn’t meant with any sort of rudeness at all.

Roosnoodles · 09/10/2024 20:37

Calliopespa · 09/10/2024 20:27

I’m also 40’s and the first name basis for adults is new to me with my Dc.

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Does anyone read posts anymore? Like I said in my original post. It’s of a time and dependant of where you grew up. Obviously you didn’t grow up in the same area as myself.

ObliviousCoalmine · 09/10/2024 20:28

lol