To not like being called by forename by kids

I had a few of my mums friends that I called Aunty and Uncle, I thought it was really common. I was born in the 80's so I wonder if it still is now?

Gosh that really is quite informal. Usually a school principal will do it because it reinforces distance - and sometimes having someone who isn’t unkind but inspires a respect is useful in a school. Same as calling teachers Sir or Miss.

Growing up I definitely would have said “Hello Mrs Harris” to a friends mum or “ Mrs Manning would it be ok, please, to borrow your phone to call my mum ?” ( yup no mobiles in early 90’s! ) I never felt subjugated it uncomfortable or any other nonsense.

I don’t especially mind but have to say I really ( REALLY) double took when my first Dc was in nursery and a little friend aged about 2.5 addressed me by my first name. His mum didn’t react at all and I realised that’s how it’s going to be as a mum now. As I say I didn’t mind, but would have preferred to be asked ( is it ok if Tony calls you {Anna?}) and was taken aback not to be. They even ask on many phone calls ( to telephone company etc) “ is it alright if I call you {Roberta}?” And my bank and gp surgery always use my (and everyone’s) surname so it’s not that outlandish or archaic.

I've had to be called Mrs. X by my DCs friends - they all call me by my real name. I mean I don't call them Miss Smith and Master Jones do I ?

I think this is a pretty old fashioned opinion.

It would literally never even occur to me to suggest that my children call anyone other than their school teachers "Mr X" or "Mrs Y" nits not 1955!!!

I think it's pretty standard to use the first name now if you know it, but it's also situational - for example, if you're a teacher at your children's school, or the local GP, they're probably going to go on calling you "Mr. Lastname" until you invite them to use your first name. If they've just met you through your son/their friend, how do they even know your first name? If it's really important to you, have your son introduce you as "my Dad, Mr. Lastname" (potentially a little awkward in some demographics) or just "this is my dad - Dad, this is my new friend Trevor". Trevor will likely address you as Mr. Yourkidslastname as he won't know what else to use. Which could be an issue itself if you don't have the same last name as your child(red).

It did seem strange at first when their friends called me by my first name (I come from a time when you’d never have done that). But as the friends got older they didn’t call me anything at all (just a quick hello then back to their socialising).

What are they supposed to call you?!

If that's what you want, then let the kids know.

It's not difficult

I'm in my mid 70s and and perfectly happy with my grandchildren's friends calling me by my first name.

My children's friends always called me by my first name. I would have hated for them to call me Mrs Smith (not my name) or Johns mum, which sounds ridiculous.

My next door neighbour, when my children were growing up, always referred to herself as aunty Joan; something that I hated and strongly discouraged my children from calling her, which they never did.

Perhaps you're still of the same mindset as my old fashioned neighbour and think children should show 'respect' by calling adult acquaintances aunty or uncle.

Very odd.

I was a teacher Mrs X was my work name. At home I was known by my first name. If I knew a child in both places they could remember which name applied.

It may be a need for status. But it’s not linked to being a teacher. I’m one. My DD’s friends - who at secondary went to the school I taught at - called me by my first name outside school. Same with all my teacher friends.

Loving the resurgence of Balonz references this week.

my DD is a TA and she's called 'Miss Accident' because the kids can't get their tongues round her actual name!

Yeah this is weird unless they're talking about you when you're not there. And Mr such and such is way too formal for children. First name is totally normal and appropriate.

I teach at the school where both my DC went, and their friends never knew what to call me when at our house. I'd say "call me <firstname>" and of course they never did.

what do you want them to call you? 'so & so's dad?' its your name! tell the friend what you want to be called! you need to get over yourself... otherwise eventually all his friends will just call you 'asshole' something else!.

The kids don’t know me in a professional setting and I am not a leadership figure in their life (teacher etc.) so I would expect to be addressed by my first name.

Are you calling the dc by their 'proper name'? As in to the dc friends...
"Welcome to my home Master Till8? Would you like a beverage?

They're usually arseholes.

I'm 50 and I called adults by their first names in the 80's. Would be very weird to be called mrs ...

When my eldest was in pre school his best friend called me J* mum, I said how about calling me “my name” his mum interrupted and said she wasn’t comfortable with the I could be aunt as we are good friends. I didn’t like that so the little lad looked at me for a while and said “ I’ll call you JM (m’s my surname first letter}. It’s stuck, 30 years later I’m still JM , all my children’s friends have called me it over the years, their partners and children now call me it, I personally love it, it often gets shortened to M which DH says suits me better but then he’s a James Bond fan.

Never called an adult Mr or Mrs (except school, etc.) or friend's mum.

Also, I would much rather a kid call me by my name than as a formal Mrs. Husband's surname or as someone's mum.

Saying that, my own little one calls me and his dad by our first names sometimes, that also doesn't bother me, either.

I suppose no one is being unreasonable to want to be addressed how they like. It’s highly unusual though, I’m in my thirties and friends’ parents/ parents’ friends were exclusively known as their first names by everyone I knew and society has only become less formal since then. Year 6 is also pretty old to enforce this. You can ask them to call you Mr XX but chances are they’ll find that odd and uncomfortable and they’ll just not directly address you at all. It might be worth considering where this discomfort is coming from within you. Has it always been a problem, or is it only now that your child is approaching secondary school?

I think its a bit old fashioned now. When I met DH's parents for the first time she made a point of saying you must call me firstname.

Recently I took DD for a playdate and the mum is a TA at her school so I said "say thank you to Mrs X" and she laughed and said oh no she can call me firstname when we're not in school.