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Original poster

To want to spend my Bday with partner and not family

84 replies

Blades2 · 09/10/2024 12:11

Just a quick one as I’m being riddled with guilt from my youngest (15)

my birthday is on New Year’s Day, my kids dad wanted Christmas away this year so we agreed I’d have both our kids for Christmas and he would have them for new year.

my partner really wanted to take me away for my bday, just us, as this is the first birthday in 2 years we’ve been able to celebrate together properly but my 15 year old is not wanting me to go and is being quite difficult (we’ve had a lot of issues this year with her dad being a complete dick tbh and it’s rubbing off on her)

am I being unreasonable to do what makes me happy for once?

OP posts:
AgainandagainandagainSS · 09/10/2024 12:20

Completelyjo · 09/10/2024 12:17

To want to spend my Bday with partner and not family

Imagine your own child wanting to see you on your birthday and new years. You’re right, what a dick.

This. How nice that a teenager actually wants to see you and spend your birthday with you. But you don't want her around.

Original poster
Blades2 · 09/10/2024 12:20

thursdaymurderclub · 09/10/2024 12:15

if ex is having them for new year.. whats the issue? can i assume your 15 year old is not over keen on your new partner? or is it that they dont want to go to their dads for new year?

The issue seems to be “dad gets to go France for Christmas, and now you’ll be away for new year, when do I get to go away”
I took her away just us two in summer and she I’ll be doing the same again in December with her

OP posts:
Original poster
Blades2 · 09/10/2024 12:18

Completelyjo · 09/10/2024 12:17

To want to spend my Bday with partner and not family

Imagine your own child wanting to see you on your birthday and new years. You’re right, what a dick.

I didn’t say she was being a dick, I said her dad’s behaviour rubs off on her, dad gets to do as he pleases for Xmas and birthday, I can’t really help that I was born on new years day and her dad wants to see her then because he won’t see her on Christmas

OP posts:
HappyDane · 09/10/2024 12:17

It's absolutely fine. There is room in your life for you to do things just for you and it's important for her to learn that she isn't at the centre of everything.

Completelyjo · 09/10/2024 12:17

To want to spend my Bday with partner and not family

Imagine your own child wanting to see you on your birthday and new years. You’re right, what a dick.

Original poster
Blades2 · 09/10/2024 12:16

ahemfem · 09/10/2024 12:12

I'm guessing she isn't a fan of your new partner.

She likes him And they get on very well together.
Her thing is “dad gets to go away, you get to go away, why don’t I” when I literally took her away in the summer for a week and am bringing her away in December for a long weekend treat 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
thursdaymurderclub · 09/10/2024 12:15

if ex is having them for new year.. whats the issue? can i assume your 15 year old is not over keen on your new partner? or is it that they dont want to go to their dads for new year?

jeaux90 · 09/10/2024 12:14

They are with their dad for new year so whether you are home or not what does DD think is the issue?

ahemfem · 09/10/2024 12:12

I'm guessing she isn't a fan of your new partner.

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