To not want him to complain in restaurants?

I am with you OP. This would give me the absolute ick and I wouldn’t want to dine out with him.

Do you meekly accept poor service all the time?

We have a very dear friend who is a chef who has cooked for royalty, for hundreds of soldiers in the field and for numerous Balls etc., ie he knows his onions!
When we were out to dinner with him and his wife he asked the waiter about how the dessert was made, fresh peaches, fresh raspberry sauce etc. Eventually the chef came out of the kitchen and asked if he would like to come into the kitchen to make our peach melbas which he did and they were delicious! It was all very good natured though, he isn't at all bombastic and the chef came and joined us for drinks later! When he was first coming to us for dinner I was petrified but he was such a good guest and is now my go-to man when I have questions.

"Up to scratch" and "not to my taste" are different things. Your DH is being a wanker.

If the food is under or over cooked, not as described, the wine is corked, chips are cold, only 1 prawn in the prawn dish etc then you have every right to politely complain AT THE TIME OF SERVICE and expect that to be rectified.

You don't like the flavour or the combination? Not enough sauce on the plate? Thought the fish should have been poached not fried? Keep your opinions to yourself. You chose the dish, the chef chooses how to serve it. And certainly don't wang on to the wait
staff at the end of the meal. Very poor show.

Bet he eats it all, too, before these lofty pronouncements.

To me, it doesn’t sound like this is about the food at all.
It sounds like your DP feels inadequate about something and is taking it out on the food.
Its miserable for you - the odd occasion you could expect but every single time is rude and weird.

If it was me I think I’d say I’m not going out to eat for a while because it’s embarrassing hearing the negative complaints every single time.
Just say you don’t want to go out to eat and would rather stay home or get take out.

I know of relatives & friends who are like this about wine and it’s embarrassing because it’s so snobby and rude & actually, they’re just showing off.

If your DP is that bothered he could write a Tripadvisor review.

I'm pretty sure that this isn't what the OP means though. There's a difference between saying everything is ok when it's not and playing Greg Wallace on Masterchef every time you go out to eat and critiquing the meal to the server. As pp have pointed out, it's highly unlikely that the chef will ever receive those comments.

If he had some real feedback he thought would be beneficial he'd be better off emailing the manager fao the chef. But he won't because he can't "show off" in public that way.

How ick inducing.

I'm with you. Your husband would annoy the hell out of me.

We used to go out as a group and had one member like this. Firstly, they would hold up the person taking the order for a good 15mins on their order alone, uhmming, arrhing, asking 100 questions, changing their mind, asking more questions, asking for all the components to be deconstructed and changed around, nope, changed mind, more questions.

Then at the end they would offer their critique which would go on for over 5mins minimum. Nothing was ever okay. Fair enough if there is something amiss, you should mention it, but we refused to believe that out of all the upscale restaurants we went to not one meal was ever okay. We ended up stopping this as a group as it was so fucking tiresome. Every. Single. Time. Spoilt the meal and night out really.

It isn’t, you know. Restaurant critics are reviewing what they’re served, not complaining about it. JR is unusual in being very recognisable. Most of the time reviewers are anonymous, keeping their heads down, not being vocal about not liking a dish. They’ll register it in their review, not in person, by and large.

I bet if there was a post like this from a woman whose husband or partner did this he'd be accused of silencing her.

and gets cross that they have no idea what they’re serving … then he will walk right into the kitchen to talk/pantomime with “chef” to find out how they make it.

Why he is a prat you ask?

That would irritate me to no end.

I worked as a waitress and there isn't a chance in hell his pernickity comments are reaching the chef. I've already forgotten what he said by the time I've reached the kitchen

You say the food is good/ great every time unless there is a big problem eg it’s cold when it should be hot. You don’t give critique unless you are a food critic and actually have expertise on the matter.

how embarrassing, I would refuse to go out with him until he stops

Weirdly he gets positive feedback. Other diners, seem happy to say what eating & if it’s good. He usually only asks one person if eating something he doesn’t recognize.

Chef usually smiling and laughing at the guy - really what’s wrong with asking questions about what you are eating? How is it prat? He’s never been chased out.

He has learned a lot about food and cooking.

Eating out is so expensive and yet I have been to restaurants that serve food that is less than it's worth...cakes with doughy middles, lukewarm dishes, parts of a meal missing that are mentioned in the menu. You're paying for a service not eating in a friend's house.

I agree. They've asked for feedback and as long as he isn't rude I don't see why he shouldn't give it.

Depends what and how he's saying it. If they ask how is your meal, they are inviting feedback and I've said too salty, broccoli over or undercooked whatever ... if I'm paying that much I expect perfection whereas a cheap pub roast, £12 at the place near dsd's I'm not as picky

Honestly, what a British thread (both the thread topic and the voting). I'm guessing a lot of the YANBU voters are the kind of say 'Don't make a scene' if their dining companion wants to point out a problem with the meal.

The 'obligatory' response to being asked how your meal is is not 'lovely, thanks', unless that's actually true. Obviously it's never OK to be rude (and asking to talk to the chef is excessive imo unless there's a significant problem), but there is nothing wrong with giving polite and constructive feedback on a meal. How else are restaurants to get a true picture of whether their food is being enjoyed?

No wonder bad restaurants (if Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is anything to go by, although I realise that might not be the most reliable metric 😄) are always saying no one's ever complained about their food, if all people ever say is 'lovely, thanks' even when that's not the case! It's batshit. If you pay for a nice meal you're entitled to a nice meal.

I’d hate this. It’s supposed to be a chance to tell them if things were not ok eg you didn’t receive something or there was a genuine problem. It’s really not an opportunity to wang on about your own preferences. I mean, it’s fine, of course you can use it for that but it would make my fanny shut faster than an ant’s mandible.

No, it is to check that the wine is not corked. I.e. gone off

Oh I get that, just so much is personal taste. Eg if I asked and they said they’d recommend the calves liver and pannacotta, I hate those things so even if they were objectively amazing would never order them

What a fucking prat. Rude to the chef and rude to the other guest.

How can your bar be that low? There is no way in hell I would stay if my husband behaved like that. How embarrassing.

I think this is different though, the op seems to be saying her DH will find fault every time.

I would kick off if I asked for fries and got potatoes!!

They shouldn't ask if they are not prepared to receive an honest answer. Your husband has done nothing wrong.