To not want him to complain in restaurants?

Michelin starred restaurants in London that I've been served gravy at have included Galvin La Chapelle, Dinner by Heston and, of course, the Harwood Arms.

@Mrsgreen100 Im mystified as to what chef would listen to this rubbish anyway? These obviously are not high quality restaurants. More like ubiquitous gastro pub fare warmed up in a microwave.

Let him sulk!

Maybe compromise. If the meal is generally OK just say OK Thanks. If there is something actually wrong with it, say so. I do this if it could have been substantially better, but not to nitpick about details. If there was something really wrong, I'd have asked the waiter to come over anyway, to explain to them. I have done this once or twice when the food came out cold, for example. Could you get your DP to rein it in along these lines?

Mystified as to what good restaurant serves gravy!

@Avanet That sounds absolutely disgusting, you poor thing!

I know this one was nothing like that though, I saw it close up. She just picked that as the thing to complain about on that occasion.

I get you about the rest but the baked potato one is one I've experienced myself, although not in a restaurant.
I was in hospital and couldn't eat anything else they had, because of my stomach problems, so asked for just a jacket potato. What they put in front of me was so vile that I can smell it to this day. Potatoes can be very disgusting if you don’t treat them right. It was hard, not undercooked, but like dried out rubbery cardboard. The skin was as thick leather with an outer layer that resembled dirty old varnished brown paper with random hard coal like black lumps dotting its surface. Only an approximately 3cm sphere of the inside center was still soft enough to mash up with the fork. I would say stale would actually be a good description for my potato. I personally think they had reheated it more than once in the microwave and let it go cold inbetween. And it had many cold spots. And they gave me two pats of rancid butter margarine stuff that could not melt into the hard cold potato. I thought, remenber it's a hospital not a hotel, and lifted it towards my face. My god, did it stink. It smelt like the bin on a cold morning after scraping jacket potato leftovers in to it the night before.

The smell made me vomit and I went without food.

A jacket potato can definitely be stale.

What do you mean by ‘not take it well’? Have a tantrum? Sulk? Shout and be aggressive?

If he ‘wouldn’t take well’ the suggestion that he dine without you, if he wants to have the pleasure of your company, he needs to not be obnoxious company himself. Quite simple.

Does he think they are actively looking for feedback and will tweak the recipe based on his expert advice?

Because in reality they are just going to roll their eyes over the twat on table 14.

I think you need to ask him why he does it and tell him that he is spoiling your evenings.

Then that's fine the op says he waits until the end to offer his opinion on how to tweek the cooking not that it's wrong.

I complained as soon as I took the first bite and confirmed that it definitely wasn’t octopus.
Sometimes it happens that the kitchen has run out of something and there are substitutions, so I understand. But customers should be informed when ordering. I didn’t pay for the dish - nor did I eat it, because it was not what I ordered.

I wouldn't be going out with someone who did that. Annoying and unnecessary.

Embarrassing and I promise you that if and when the criticism is relayed to the Chef, he will call your DH not a very nice name! If your DH knew anything about catering, he’d know this.

Coming from a chef, he would most likely be the butt of a few giggles backstage. It basically makes him look like an ass. It's more common than you think though. I've had 'the salad was cold' before 😂

Big difference between returning the wrong order, complaining of badly cooked food or service and acting like your giving a Michelin rating

I hope he isn't doing this before you order anything else - dessert, coffee etc because you have no idea what the kitchen staff might do to your order.

but it doesn't sound like OPs partner is pointing out fundamental flaws and mistakes - way over seasoned, overcooked steak, cold food, dishes that simply don't taste good.... It sounds like he is showing off his 'superior' food knowledge and essentially showing off by suggesting improvements based his own personal preferences such as preferring gravy with herbs in, or carrots with a bit more crunch. Yes a chef is making food for paying customers who should enjoy it, but in a restaurant setting they are not a private and personal chef who are paid to cater to every whim and preference of the customer, they should simply cook the menu items correctly.

You said it better than i did

Actually yes, people do it all the time. If you feel you are knowledgeable, why not? It's only an opinion, no one will shoot you for it. People go to their GP ready with everything they think is wrong with them before the GP even says anything, does the GP not get annoyed sometimes? They do. But they're aware that's just how it is. Never heard of a GP blacklisting a patient over it.

But you said people should say the food is good unless 'unless there is a big problem' with it. That sort of implied you thought people should keep schtum if there's a minor problem?

Those aren’t particularly good comparisons. If I don’t like the haircut my hairdresser gives me, I tell her so even though she’s a professional; if I commission a piece of artwork and would like something amended when I see touchpoint stages, I say so even though they’re a professional; if the butcher tries to cut my steak differently to how I want it, I tell him so even though he’s a professional. In the same way, being a chef cooking for paying diners is a customer service position and customers are entitled to receive the product they want, even if the chef is a professional.

My friend complained EVERY time we went out. Once she said to the waitress (young girl) that the chef must be a bellend cooking the dish like that. The manager came over and calmly asked what was wrong and then said "But you complain every time you come in here. Please don't swear at my waitresses"
Readers, she never went back 😂