Been married 11 years, two children age 6 and 9. DH works incredibly hard, a full time job in the week, he then does a freelance job at least 1 evening of the weekend (but often 2) and he’s now taken on the coaching for our son’s football team. I am worried about him as he is extremely down about how little time he has for himself, feels all he does is work, says he has no enjoyment in life. He has a heart attack a few years ago and has said he wished he hadn’t survived it, he says he wants someone to finish him off as he doesn’t want to be here anymore.
I’ve said something needs to give so said he needs to cut back on the weekend work but he won’t because he says we need the money and can’t survive on just his salary and my part time wages. He has panic attacks in the night about how much pressure and stress he’s under to make money for all our bills and things for the kids. He’s messed up a few times at work because the stress/depression is impacting him, so that’s added even more pressure.
I feel awful because I am finding him really difficult to be around. He’s always so negative, as I said nothing brings him joy not even our kids, he has less patience for them. I can never say anything right - he hates his life so I say change it but he says he can’t as need the money. I’d be happier tightening our belts and going without things, than seeing him so down. He has a GP appointment on Friday about his depression but he’s already negative that it won’t help and he wouldn’t take pills anyway if they prescribe them.
If anyone has experience of being with someone who feels this way about life, how do you deal with it? The constant negativity is making me feel joyless too - I’d do anything to make his life better but I just can’t see how I can change it when he thinks he needs to work as much as he is.