Girls' weekend away

I've been to a Butlins Big Weekend in Skeggy, cheap as chips, lots of fun, good music and as long as you avoid Bingo Bango on Saturday afternoon, you'll be fine.

I think we already know, so no wonder he’s not happy!

Obv username is a throwaway. Def go an enjoy it if that’s what you want

been on plenty of these weekends because they are cheap, cheerful and close to home if needed. We drink and dance all weekend often returning home with sore throats from laughing and Singing so much, and have thus far managed not to shag anyone but will be on high alert next weekend just in case….

I think most people would imagine the scenario you describe. I can see why anyone wouldn’t be happy at their partner attending this sort of weekend “ fun”

I’d love a lufe (whatever’s that is!)

I’m not implying the OP would have trouble avoiding having sex with someone. She should definitely go if she wants and get DH should trust her. Just replying to some of the comments on how these weekends are just people going for a bit of music and dancing. That wasn’t my experience and I wish I’d been warned because I was shocked at the behaviour.

His statement is more telling about him.

I'd be assuming he'd already cheated on you.

It's a big 🚩

Which weekend are you going to? 😁

If my husband insinuated my knickers fall off if he's not watching, he'd be sleeping in his bloody car for a month.

If you managed to not have sex with anyone, then I'm sure op can too.

Op, you're at least 50 given the length of your marriage. If you wanted to screw others, I'm sure you'd work out how to do it. If he doesn't trust you now, he never will.

Let .e guess, you won't be there at his beck and call?

I agree with that. Friends have done the 80’s weekends and the soul ones and said it’s good fun but men are like dogs on heat.

Ive done the Ibiza one and the Southport weekend (at Bognor) which were both more house music specific and attracted a completely different crowd who were there for the music

I’ve been to a 90s weekend at Butlins and it was extremely seedy and a meat market. However the two chalets worth of mums I was with managed to avoid the many offers we collectively received. I’ve been to a more genre specific weekend a few times (original artists, more alternative) and it was a completely different vibe. A bit of friendly banter but not as debauched. So maybe it depends on the demographic?

You should go if you want to. But it is....not for everyone.

I once went to an adult only butlins hen do thing for an old school friend and I went home early it was that bad. Everyone was totally smashed when I arrived and several members of the group hooked up with men there - despite all being engaged or married. The bride's GRANNY was asked to leave the premises for fighting. A classy affair it was not 😅

My brother goes every year. He just describes the weekends as a public service of a kind: instead of having a giant house party at home and irritating the fuck out of all your nice suburban neighbours with your loud music and your drug taking, you go to Butlins with all the friends you’d have invited to your giant house party and the loud music and the drug taking is par for the course. You aren’t looking for more than a duvet and a hot shower in your accommodation anyway and you get to hang out with all your friends without bothering anyone. I can definitely see the appeal.

My husband is very easy going and actually said the one place he wouldn’t ever want me to go is a butlins adult weekend…apparently full of lecherous men. I believe the word was “sausage fest”

Your DH sounds like a knob.

Do people understand that an adults only weekender means no children rather one of those tropical, hedonistic sex trips? Says more about you that your clothes fall off as soon as children are out of the way than the OP.

Such snobbery on here. They're not seedy, they're just fun music festival type weekends. Loads of my friends go on them (professional women, teachers and the like). They are all married, they have a great craic, dress up, dance and none of them have ever snagged a rando whilst there.

I personally couldn't think of anything worse than a seedy adults weekend at Butlins. However, that doesn't mean that your husband is allowed to dictate where you go.

Would he have the same issue if you sent 5 times the price at Centre Parcs?

I have no idea what these weekends are like, but I assume you're capable of not having sex with other men. Go and have (non-sexual) fun.

My sil goes on plenty of these butlins weekends and none of them have fucked anyone, she had many times though that she's never had a weekend or mini break with her group of friends where married men have not tried it on with them so I think maybe the pp is right, he's maybe projecting and it's him and his mates who are the type who try and fuck randoms on lads breaks.

I’m sorry your DH is being like this.

Unless there is a history of cheating your end in the past I think he is being totally unreasonable and controlling.

I would be concerned that after 34 years of marriage my DH didn’t trust me enough to have a fun weekend away with my friends.

Go and have fun, don’t let him stop you.

If you want sex with strangers then it can definitely be all about sex with strangers. Do you want sex with strangers? If not, then it’s not going to involve sex with strangers. The bigger problem is why your DH seems to think so little of you that he assumes you’re off to have sex with strangers.

It might be standard usage but it's ridiculous when a woman reduces herself to the status of someone who doesn't deserve the respect and consideration of an adult. Who is not competent to behave in an adult way.
Similarly the use of the term lads which is usually used to excuse adult men's bad behaviour.

Yes, get him told. There is no way my DH gets to stop me seeing my mates ( no childcare planning needed now). We haven’t been to Butlins but if we did he wouldn’t think I was going to include sex in the itinerary.