Not allowed private room

And you thought a personal attack was a fabulous way to make your point?

You show me one piece of research that says the best thing to do for a mother who has just given birth is to keep her awake for a ridiculous amount of time, shine bright lights on her, put her next to several other screaming babies, and make sure she can hear some bloke loudly ordering KFC and I'll consider it. Until then, no you're talking bollocks.

Exactly!

but apparently that’s treating mothers like shit!

i don’t think free private rooms exist unless you know someone who works there. It doesn’t matter how much you pay - if there’s no room available there isn’t one. I got a private room for free because my best friends mum was the head midwife (or whatever they’re called) and only because it was free. They only had three private rooms, it’s not a hotel.

Excellent argument!

I suspect you’re one of those “I don’t like being spoken too, they looked at my baby type” It’s my “anxiety”!

Get a grip!

Bollocks have they.

Some may have, but others, like myself, couldn't wait to get out. The one overnight I had, 2 of the others were shouting and chatting all night - literally. I couldn't rest at all because of the absolute racket coming from the other mothers.

I agree with those saying it should be standard to have a private room. I can't stand wards, and jumped at the chance when I heard private rooms were only around £200 - unfortunately our hospital didn't offer that service and I was on the postnatal ward. Luckily only stayed one night with one child, and was discharged before night time with the second.

Actually I think a lot of mothers have benefited by being with other mothers in a ward.

But you carry on saying they’re treated like shit and expecting an unrealistic expectation.

No, unfortunately I expect hospitals to treat mothers like shit.

It's not something we should be defending.

Are you deliberately misunderstanding just so you can make a snotty comment? OP clearly says she was going to pay for it.

So you expect hospitals to have the funding to have separate rooms for all mothers…..

Get a grip on reality!

If you had a woman staying in your house after just giving birth, would you keep her awake all night with loads of noise and lights and then tell her to shut up and be grateful or would that be an unconscionably awful to do to someone?

If it's wrong at your house, it's wrong in the hospital.

I’ve got no problem with putting ALOT more funding into the NHS, including funding dedicated to maternity services if possible.

Double the staff sounds like the minimum they need with or without private rooms - those Mums should be getting a least some guaranteed rest after giving birth.

(PS I’ve had my children and I won’t be having more, so I won’t benefit from this!)

Ok, so let’s make everything a private room and make the problem worse?

all I mean is reform other stuff first before just turning everything into a private room and making it worse

Numerous recent reports suggest that maternity services in the UK are already very unsafe.

Yes but then they would need double the staff! And the way maternity services are so chronically short staffed at the moment it either won’t happen… or will and be very unsafe.

Maybe focus on your new baby and not where you slept postnatally.

Honestly all beds in maternity wards need to be private rooms. The way it is at the moment is diabolical- French friends (both drs as it happened) laughed when I told them.

Maybe it couldn’t happen instantly but certainly needs to be phased in for all new builds/ re furbs, and then for existing hospitals over time.

Hmm I think I'd be discharging myself rather than stay on a ward.

It's not up to the MWs to bully new mothers because they can't be bothered to check on those in rooms

Surely it's the patients choice whether or not to accept the " risk"

They can’t control him choosing to leave at any point though. If he suddenly decided he wanted to pop home, they can’t keep him there. Then they are back to the issue of a high risk patient in a side room. I know realistically he likely wouldn’t leave but from a risk management perspective of the midwifery team they are safer to put her in a bay where she is guaranteed to have other people in the bay at all times.

The very first line of her post states, "for my birth I made it clear I wanted to pay for a private room."

Sorry this happened to you OP and equally sorry you’re getting a hard time. I certainly haven’t heard you say anywhere that you should take priority over mums will unwell babies etc. just that it seemed unreasonable to not allow you a private room when there seemed to be a few empty under the guise of “extra checks” that then didn’t happen. I can understand that. Clearly nobody thinks that paying mums should take priority over those with a clinical need, quite offensive to suggest that’s the case tbh, what people are saying is that private rooms should be available to all post birth as a default, as they are in many other countries.

I also think it’s ridiculous people are having a go about your husband going home. I’m hoping to be able to get a private room after birth and if I do my husband will sleep on the floor to help me in the night etc. If I can’t get one then I’ll likely be sending him home because he snores, which will be worse if he’s sleeping in a chair and will drive me nuts and be unfair on the other women. Also I want him to be well rested and on top form ready to care for us when we get home!

I was in the same position as you, OP. I had my daughter in a normal NHS hospital but was able to book a private room in advance. But when my daughter was born, I was put in a ward with other mothers and new norms because the private rooms were being used by women whose babies had problems and it was felt that they would be better off in a separate room.

I found it very difficult to sleep in the ward, but I was thankful that my baby was healthy enough that the medical staff didn't feel she needed to be in a separate room, unlike the baby who was in the room I had booked. I didn't whinge about it or think it was unfair, and recognised that someone else needed the room more than me. Even if I'd been allocated the private room I had booked, I wouldn't have wanted my husband to be there overnight and can't imagine why anyone would have wanted that.

But if she had the private room then her DH would've been with her so surely he would ( try to) alert staff if there was an isdue

I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful babies