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AIBU?

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To have given this as a gift?

139 replies

JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:26

A colleague really helped me out today, and I wanted to give her a token of my appreciation. I remembered that I had a lovely, unused bottle of limoncello that I bought while in Sicily over the summer. So when she dropped me off at home after work today, I nipped inside to grab it for her.
On taking it out of the cupboard, I saw that the cellophane had been removed from the stopper and a wee bit was missing. Bloody teenagers! (not underage, I hasten to add).
I gave it to her anyway because I was completely caught out. But now I feel silly and a bit embarrassed. I'm hoping she won't mind. It could only have been opened recently and she is very thrifty - as well as an incredibly resourceful and amazing human being - so I know that it definitely won't go to waste. She likes the drink and is a keen baker, etc.
I'm hoping that maybe she'll think it's more authentically Italian with the cellophane removed, and that that's how it's supposed to look Confused

Would you be insulted by this gift? I would have lined up something else had I known the bottle was opened.

OP posts:
hattie43 · 08/10/2024 16:57

No , an open bottle of anything is not a gift at all , it smacks of after thought , weirdness , don't care . I'd be poring it straight down the sink .
Would have been much better to wait and buy some flowers , chocs infact anything that's new .

HughJarz · 08/10/2024 16:56

I wouldn't give anyone a spontaneous gift which they can't put in their regifting drawer if they don't happen to like it.

JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:56

Sia8899 · 08/10/2024 16:55

It sounds like she probably won’t mind but even if the cellophane had been on, it would’ve been clear you were giving her something random from a holiday unless you’ve been abroad this last week

But yeah, because the favour was so last minute. I couldn't pretend that I had bought it for her specifically, as I don't own a crystal ball.

OP posts:
JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:55

The irony is, I'm normally very generous!

OP posts:
Sia8899 · 08/10/2024 16:55

It sounds like she probably won’t mind but even if the cellophane had been on, it would’ve been clear you were giving her something random from a holiday unless you’ve been abroad this last week

JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:54

Hep1989 · 08/10/2024 16:53

I’d be really touched to have received a spontaneous gift- you said she helped you on the day, so it’s not like it was planned. You didn’t maliciously or, even carelessly, give her something already opened. If it were me I definitely wouldn’t notice any missing cellophane. I think you did a lovely generous thing. You said she seemed delighted- I’d trust her reaction and forget about it.

Thank you. On my life, I 100% expected this bottle to be still untouched. And it was totally spontaneous.

OP posts:
ThisHangryPinkBalonz · 08/10/2024 16:54

ahemfem · 08/10/2024 16:48

Might as well have done imo

Okay, Hyacinth.

Uricon2 · 08/10/2024 16:54

Paperchase100 · 08/10/2024 16:42

It depends. Did you tell her “wait here I’ve got an unused bottle of limoncello you can have as you helped me out” Because I think personally to save the anxiety you’re feeling you should just message her and say that you’ve just found out the kids have had some and you’ll buy her a new bottle and bring it in the morning.

This sounds like a sensible plan.

ETA I bet she says no need for you to replace but it shows willing.

JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:53

PatsyPatsysaid · 08/10/2024 16:52

Well depends - did the teens empty it and fill it with lemon squash?!

No. I only ever buy orange Grin

OP posts:
Hep1989 · 08/10/2024 16:53

I’d be really touched to have received a spontaneous gift- you said she helped you on the day, so it’s not like it was planned. You didn’t maliciously or, even carelessly, give her something already opened. If it were me I definitely wouldn’t notice any missing cellophane. I think you did a lovely generous thing. You said she seemed delighted- I’d trust her reaction and forget about it.

PatsyPatsysaid · 08/10/2024 16:52

Well depends - did the teens empty it and fill it with lemon squash?!

Vatqueenquestion · 08/10/2024 16:51

I would have to explain.
She will get it.

PersephoneAgrees · 08/10/2024 16:50

JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:38

They're too lazy for such ingenuity.

Are you SURE????

JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:49

I'll tell you a funny wee story about this lovely colleague. One day she walked into the staffroom as I was about to chuck out some milk. It would have been off by the time we returned from a long weekend. She insisted that she take it and that it didn't go to waste.
She gave me a lift home and I sat in the front clutching the milk. But it was in a carton with the corner snipped off. I sat there thinking 'you're a bit bonkers' as the milk splashed on my handbag Grin
So I'm really hoping she won't mind.

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Pocketfullofdogtreats · 08/10/2024 16:49

Is it obvious it had been opened? That's the crux of it, I'd have thought. But she liked it, it's in the past. I would forget it unless she brings it up, in which case confess and offer to bring round a bottle of wine.

ahemfem · 08/10/2024 16:48

ThisHangryPinkBalonz · 08/10/2024 16:47

I would of thought it was a lovely thought ... not like you gave her half a bottle with fag ends in 😂

Might as well have done imo

ahemfem · 08/10/2024 16:48

Depends on what you said to her. Sounds like you fobbed it off as something you bought for her?

I'd be disgusted and throw it in the bin unless the context had been explained and I was given a choice of accepting it or not

ThisHangryPinkBalonz · 08/10/2024 16:47

JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:42

No, definitely not. Just a little thank you.

I would of thought it was a lovely thought ... not like you gave her half a bottle with fag ends in 😂

AutumnTimeForCosy24 · 08/10/2024 16:45

@JMSA sorry to agree with the others. I often give things to my neighbours that I've bought & tried but didn't like & we give each other what's fresh but won't last when we're going away etc. same with friends if I have something I opened & didn't like, but always with that explanation. I'd never try to pass it off as a gift & id find it weird if they tried to pass it off as a gift.

im not sure I'd want it if I didn't know you/your family well, who knows if they've been drinking it out of the bottle.

with gifts it's the THOUGHT that counts! & this just says 'I feel obliged to give you a gift, this opened bottle will do'. Not something you bought for her!

yep, not your best move!

strungouteyes · 08/10/2024 16:43

JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:41

I'm kicking myself now.

TBF I can remember doing something similar when I was younger, and to this day I wonder about it, so I do feel your pain!!

Paperchase100 · 08/10/2024 16:42

It depends. Did you tell her “wait here I’ve got an unused bottle of limoncello you can have as you helped me out” Because I think personally to save the anxiety you’re feeling you should just message her and say that you’ve just found out the kids have had some and you’ll buy her a new bottle and bring it in the morning.

JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:42

ThisHangryPinkBalonz · 08/10/2024 16:41

I'm sure it's fine, you said she's thrifty... not like it was a birthday gift.

No, definitely not. Just a little thank you.

OP posts:
ThisHangryPinkBalonz · 08/10/2024 16:41

I'm sure it's fine, you said she's thrifty... not like it was a birthday gift.

JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:41

strungouteyes · 08/10/2024 16:40

Naaah I'd have picked up something else another day.

I'm kicking myself now.

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JMSA · 08/10/2024 16:41

partygate · 08/10/2024 16:39

I think this is pretty rude tbh. Rather than give her a gift you’ve thought about and suits her, you’ve given her something in the back of the cupboard and has been opened. You’re now forcing her to show thanks for an utterly thoughtless gift. I’d be pretty annoyed. If it’s obviously open she will know it’s something you had knocking about at home and didn’t care whether she wanted or not. I would sooner have no gift.

But the whole helping me out thing was so last minute. And because my last day at that particular workplace is on Thursday, I may well never see her again.
I honestly did mean well.

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