To say this narrative that men don't get compliments is bs?

I think it is true to some extent. DH has a really good solid group of male friends, and they do give each other emotional support, tell each other when they’re proud of each other, compliment each other etc - and it was only when my brother went on DH’s stag weekend and was taken aback by it not being a weekend of guys trying to embarrass / injure / mock each other, that I reflected on it not being the norm for a lot of men.

There’s quite a lot of vitriol in your OP. Men aren’t the enemy. It can be simultaneously true that as a group within society they have a form of privilege but also at an individual level have disadvantages and struggles. Nobody is saying it’s somehow women’s problem to sort out, it’s definitely an issue that men themselves need to contend with - but recognition of it is that first step.

There are different facets of privilege. Yes men have male privilege, but with that comes toxic masculinity. A price of that is being expected to be strong and confident and not need any compliments or support.

Needing compliments and support are in our patriarchal society, traditionally seen as a weakness that are for poor fragile women.

Today we understand better the impacts of toxic masculinity and the impacts of denigrating the value of things like compliments and support once thought to be only needed by the ‘weaker sex’ but really needed by all of us.

Men are now learning to ask for support, to ask for positive feedback (compliments) after generations of us saying they need to open up more, and they don’t have to be strong, silent, confident 100% of the time to be a man.

They are just finding their voice.

I do pay men compliments but I make them in a slightly jokey way unless it's my DP. I didn't do it when I was younger unless they were a good friend for the very reason the Op states- I'd tell a woman something looked lovely on her but too many men thought it was a come on.

Anyway, men do get compliments — it's just that they don't always look like straightforward compliments, and they're more likely to get them on their achievements or their possessions than on their looks.

When they do good work, they might get good feedback or get tangible rewards.

When they get an attractive girlfriend, that can reflect well on them and other men might be impressed, and communicate that either directly or, more likely, indirectly through apparently negative teasing/"banter".

When they have nice possessions, other men will often comment approvingly, with the underlying compliment being on the owner's taste, wealth, persistence, or whatever other qualities it might take to own e.g. a pristine 1972 Triumph GT6.

I give men compliments. I don't think I'm that unusual. However, I admit that I am lucky enough to work with and have friends who are the kind of men who can accept them at face values and not as come ons. That said I have occasionally complimented other men, although I usually do preface it with "I'm not coming onto you and I'm happily married ". However, I definitely compliment women more.

I do think women are more likely to say to a friend that they like their hair, or outfit. Men don’t do that.

I also do a hobby and notice that the women doing it get told they’re good (and rightly, they are) by both men and women. The men doing the hobby don’t generally get told that.

you’re spot on, a lot may be false or otherwise motivated. A pp is also right that it’s down to men to stop making it about sex.

but the general premise that we very rarely get told we look good, or are doing a good job, or are a good parent , friend, colleague, is true

Men will get compliments from men when men no longer consider compliments a sexual come-on. Men will get compliments from women when men no longer consider compliments a sexual come-on. The problem originates with men, affects men, and is men's problem to sort out, if they want to.

Bloke here. No we don’t get compliments. Women don’t as (I don’t blame them) a lot of men would think that’s a come on. Mates don’t as, well, they just don’t. Partners tend not to as I guess they think we don’t need it.

when we get a compliment it’s so rare we actually tend to remember them

I don't think men do get compliments often tbh.

When DV, rape, murder, the pay gap, maternity services..... etc get sorted out I'll have the headspace to think about telling the bloke down the road that he looks nice today.

Privileged treatment in society? With suicides much higher in men? Okay then.

This feels mean because it's well documented that loneliness is more prevalent in males and that men do not share their feelings and seek support from friends like women do. When I have a hard time I notice people flock to help me whereas I don't see that happen for my husband. Also when I had my baby people couldn't do enough for me but it seemed like no one really gave a fuck about my husband who was also thrown in at the deep end and had his life turned upside down by our tiny human.

On the compliment front I get plenty of compliments from both men and women and a small percentage of the men would like to screw me I am certain the rest do not.

You seem both angry that you're not getting enough support and angry at men. Do you need someone to talk to?

I complement women all the time -colleagues new hair cut/lovely looking skin or lipstick-I never complement men because I’d worry they’d think it was a come on.
A guy in work has shaved his beard off and looks so much better but I’d never tell him I like his new look.