To feel rubbish about this - breastfeeding groups

That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard and horrid for those not bf, for whatever reason.

"It's interesting how many of the people disagreeing with the OP have made the assumption that doing this benefitted the breastfeeding mums at all."

Nobody's made that assumption. We don't know how the women given the certificates felt about it because nobody asked them.

I think women are very aware of what a toxic subject breastfeeding is in this country. I find threads like this almost operate as a sort of popularity contest, where even women who've been through hell to breastfeed and feel it was really important to them will engage in 'pick me' behaviour to downplay the value of breastfeeding in order to fit in with the 'fed is best' orthodoxy.

I can understand how it would be insensitive OP, most definitely, considering it wasn't the breastfeeding class. On the other hand, like PP said maybe they went through struggles themselves.
It is a big of a shame that people breastfeeding have to "play it down" though in fear of hurting someone's feelings. I'm currently breastfeeding and if I'm honest I feel uncomfortable telling people who don't (if the convo comes up of course), why should I feel that way?

This!

What I find concerning, is that the people running the group are presumably trained breastfeeding counsellors, who theoretically should also be trained in associated postnatal issues, and should have heightened sensitivity and empathy to the very well-known challenges that women can face in this very emotionally fragile period. I was a BF counsellor myself, and wouldn't dream of doing something like this. I'd quietly support the personal achievements of individuals privately with them.

Print out some bottle feeding certificates at home and hand them out next week and ask everyone to clap.

It's interesting how many of the people disagreeing with the OP have made the assumption that doing this benefitted the breastfeeding mums at all.

We've no reason to think any of them wanted or welcomed this, and they don't appear to have been told about it in advance. Odds are that at least some of them felt awkward and would've preferred not to have a round of applause extracted from other attendees, especially as we now know that there was some eye rolling.

I wouldn’t want one myself - seems a bit naff and pointless as others have said, but I think it’s fine to have handed them out. We can be happy for and support other people even if it didn’t work out for us! Breastfeeding, like many other aspects of parenting is hard work! I think it’s fine if people want to celebrate succeeding - classic case of comparison being the thief of joy! Their successes do not indicate your failures :)

YANBU. Mutual support and encouragement is all very well but ultimately how women feed their children is a personal decision and not suitable for public awards/certificates imo.

I was asked to bf my baby in a corner at a baby group 4 years ago because me feeding my child would "trigger" the rest of the group 🙄

That being said, I think handing out certificates for breastfeeding is very cringey. I appreciate they may have their struggles and the organiser probably had nice intentions, wanting to give them a boost or something. But it should have been done in the actual breast feeding group - waiting till next week wouldn't have hurt.

@Fiftycents if I were you, I wouldn't dwell on this too much. I agree it was tactless but I really don't think it's worth making a big thing of.

Why wouldn't celebrating breastfeeding be encouraging to people who are struggling or supplementing?

I think NCT 'leaders' just run short antenatal courses for first time parents so I'm not sure when they'd be doing this.

Weird to do it in the baby group and weird to have certificates at all, surely that wouldn't be encouraging to the people who are struggling to BF or have to supplement their supply. But many people can't breastfeed for reasons outside of their control, they are not worse mothers for it. So I wouldn't let it bother me and I would know I tried my best for my baby, not a certificate

This isn't comparable. Because not only are there no certificates nor expected rounds of applause from the group for the unmedicated births, but you're not trying to pretend any NCT class give out prizes for going off in cliques.

It's cringey as fuck, and the comparisons people keep making all fail because they're not things that random participants attending completely different groups are roped into.

I don't think it's insensitive exactly, but it's weird af to give out certificates for breast feeding. I breastfed my children but would be cringing if someone gave me a certificate for it. 😬

Yes, I know, but that was my point - why should there be an assumption that breastfeeding can only be mentioned / acceptable during breastfeeding club and at no other times?

I agree it was insensitive. Some folk try hard to breastfeed and it just doesn't work out.

There are long term and population studies.
It effects women’s health as well as babies.

But I wouldn’t give out certificates myself.

Breastfeeding groups can be ruthless though. I remember one poor woman who had tried so hard but still couldn't manage to breastfeed successfully and all I wanted to say was "Just try a bottle" but I probably would have been asked to leave if so. The online breastfeeding facebook groups could be insane too, seeing bottle-feeding as akin to sucking on poison. Absolutely no help for anyone who wanted to combi feed. The all or nothing approach is not helpful to new mums.

IME breastfeeding club is for mothers who struggle with feeding and need support. Why shouldn’t they have their struggles recognised and their efforts (pain, suffering, blood sweat and tears) celebrated in front of others?

A decade on I still remember the resentment I felt when a HCA at the childrens centre I went to made a big thing of apologising in advance that a weaning video she was about to show include - shock - images of breastfeeding. Like the mere existence of breastfeeding should never be spoken of. As one of the very, very few mums who breastfed in the area, I was definitely made to feel uncomfortable and as though I was causing “problems” for the bottle-feeding mums. Your attitude feeds into that kind of thing. Breastfeeding shouldn’t be a shameful secret!

I don't think I could get wound up about this. It's a bit cringe'y and maybe a bit insensitive but I wouldn't actually care

YABU I think it’s nice and it wouldn’t bother me.

theres enough rain in the world to complain about a little sun

NCT leaders often say ‘well done’ to women on their second / third / fourth birth or those who didn’t get assists / pain relief. If I got offended by that then I would have driven myself crazy. The thing is someone always has a better parenting experience than you - that doesn’t mean it can’t be celebrated for fear of offence.

Yes insensitive...not being able to bf DD1 was a big factor in my pnd and I would have found this quite upsetting. Will you feedback to the group leader?

I voted yabu because it's just such a meaningless thing rather than me judging your feelings. It isn't actually worth the paper it's written on.