To feel rubbish about this - breastfeeding groups

I've had quite an easy life with my breastfed son. I find it easier than bottlefeeding. There needs to be more support for breastfeeding.

Completely agree. As evidenced by the numbers, there are so few women who BF and they need more support in this area. Not to be discouraged at every corner. Controversial, I know, and while I feel sorry for women who have tried and couldn’t (and I don’t think they should feel guilty about it) and I don’t judge women who choose to FF for an easy life, I reserve most of my sympathy and support for BF moms as there are so few of them.

I wonder how many pregnant or new mothers are really influenced by advertising? I don’t remember seeing any when I was pregnant. I’d decided to use formula and bought the brand our local supermarket stocked the most of.
Most of us can weigh up information and make an informed decision. It’s not a wrong, uninformed or wrong decision to use formula from day one.

I wonder how many pregnant or new mothers are really influenced by advertising? I don’t remember seeing any when I was pregnant. I’d decided to use formula and bought the brand our local supermarket stocked the most of.
Most of us can weigh up information and make an informed decision. It’s not a wrong, uninformed or wrong decision to use formula from day one.

@BreatheAndFocus I completely agree. People like to think we all act in a vacuum but the truth is we are not. And the fact is prior generations were convinced by these companies that formula is best so now even midwives know fuck all about breastfeeding and any question (not even major challenges) I've had regarding breastfeeding have been met with "you can just formula feed for an easy life, you know they sleep longer that way and they'll be perfectly healthy". I have found breastfeeding, while heavily promoted by shitty NHS flyers, to be quite undermined in practice.

It's ok for people to criticise me for not letting grandma give a bottle, for letting baby cry in hospital while desperately cluster feeding, for not going out socialising with a 1 month old baby (because you know, I could just give a bottle and go out with my girlfriends), etc etc but God forbid we try to be more encouraging of breastfeeding. Honestly, if my DH hadn't been so supportive of breastfeeding, I wouldn't have managed to exclusively breastfeed, it's like the whole world was against it.

Encouraging women to keep going in this environment is not a criticism of those who couldn't breastfeed. When you're sleep deprived, a bit of a pat on the back can make a difference.

The certificates would have been better given in the breastfeeding group but it's really not that offensive and it's not a bad thing to try and come up with something to be more encouraging.

As for 'well, why bother when formula companies are spending million persuading women that their product is brilliant' - well, that's still not an argument against any or all breastfeeding promotion

I hope that wasn’t aimed at me. If it was, you misread my post. I certainly didn’t say ‘why bother’. My point was the huge marketing of formula milk that’s apparently ok, yet a few certificates might upset some mums. Giving out BF certificates, praise, support groups, a tiny bit of gov money up against the practices of mega-corporations who pour money into the formula market. People should care more about the latter than the former. It’s disgraceful they’re allowed to do so.

Surely the focus should be on actual professional support? That is going to make the biggest difference for those who want to breastfeed. Not certificates or a round of applause.

But why does that have to be in a group that isn’t anything to do with the support group organising the certificates?

No, but a certificate or a round of applause might just help.

Surely the focus should be on actual professional support? That is going to make the biggest difference for those who want to breastfeed. Not certificates or a round of applause.

You could say that about every single thing any health professional does to encourage or support healthy behaviours. On its own it won't result in a huge change. But individually it's supportive. For example we know that women who manage to get to 6 weeks with breastfeeding are more likely to succeed with breastfeeding their next baby. That longer duration of breastfeeding reduces the incidence of SIDS. Small steps. Incremental change. And we know the majority of women who stop breastfeeding early would have preferred to continue. Sometimes all people need to keep going with something hard is a bit of validation.

As for 'well, why bother when formula companies are spending million persuading women that their product is brilliant' - well, that's still not an argument against any or all breastfeeding promotion.

A certificate for breastfeeding is going to make little difference if someone wants to stop breastfeeding.

"but still don’t think how anyone feeds their baby warrants a certificate"

So I've explained to you the rationale for public acknowledgement and celebration of breastfeeding - because 1. it's hard and 2. most women stop breastfeeding before they'd intended to because it's hard.

It's part of breastfeeding promotion.

You're repeating that you don't think this matters because you don't see any value in women overcoming breastfeeding challenges. You repeat that you don't think how a baby is fed makes any difference to them. Public health organisations don't agree with you - they see breastfeeding promotion as a public health issue.

"but still don’t think how anyone feeds their baby warrants a certificate"

So I've explained to you the rationale for public acknowledgement and celebration of breastfeeding - because 1. it's hard and 2. most women stop breastfeeding before they'd intended to because it's hard.

It's part of breastfeeding promotion.

You're repeating that you don't think this matters because you don't see any value in women overcoming breastfeeding challenges. You repeat that you don't think how a baby is fed makes any difference to them. Public health organisations don't agree with you - they see breastfeeding promotion as a public health issue.

No where have I been mean spirited about anyone deciding to bf but still don’t think how anyone feeds their baby warrants a certificate or public acknowledgment.

"Not sure why I would feel insecure about my parenting choices when I positively choose to use formula.

If you didn't have issues you wouldn't be trying to frame breastfeeding as being without value or being sniffy and mean spirited about people's efforts to keep going with breastfeeding being publicly acknowledged.

partly because they know these women are raising their babies in a culture where they're surrounded by people like you who for some reason need to frame breastfeeding as a pointless exercise - usually out of jealousy or insecurity about their own parenting choices.

Ive never been jealous how someone else fed their baby - I never tried to breast feed. Never wanted to.
Not sure why I would feel insecure about my parenting choices when I positively choose to use formula. As DT’s are now in their mid 20’s I’ve the advantage of seeing that they are happy and healthy so think we made some good decisions. I don’t think either of them have ever asked how they were fed as babies.

Oh - I don't know, because they've done something they found hard - that they didn't have to do, that they thought was good for their baby - and that someone's acknowledging their effort? As for what they'd do with it, well who bloody cares? The point is the acknowledgement. They might have chucked it in the bin on the way out. Or they might have tucked it into a file somewhere at home.

"I don’t get why anyone is so hung up by how someone feeds their baby? Looking around you can’t tell who was breastfed v formula. Where’s my certificate for bottle feeding my DC’s!!"

100% of people who choose to bottlefeed get to bottlefeed their babies. But 80% of women who want to breastfeed stop before they planned to stop, because breastfeeding can be super challenging (which is also why some people choose not to do it). So health professionals and breastfeeding supporters sometimes choose to publicly acknowledge the effort and resilience of those women who are trying to maintain breastfeeding - partly because they know these women are raising their babies in a culture where they're surrounded by people like you who for some reason need to frame breastfeeding as a pointless exercise - usually out of jealousy or insecurity about their own parenting choices.

FWIW - your 'you can't tell who was breastfed or formula fed' point - you also can't generally tell whose mothers smoked during pregnancy, but that doesn't mean that remaining smoke free isn't - like breastfeeding - beneficial for babies.

Oh - I don't know, because they've done something they found hard - that they didn't have to do, that they thought was good for their baby - and that someone's acknowledging their effort? As for what they'd do with it, well who bloody cares? The point is the acknowledgement. They might have chucked it in the bin on the way out. Or they might have tucked it into a file somewhere at home.

"I don’t get why anyone is so hung up by how someone feeds their baby? Looking around you can’t tell who was breastfed v formula. Where’s my certificate for bottle feeding my DC’s!!"

100% of people who choose to bottlefeed get to bottlefeed their babies. But 80% of women who want to breastfeed stop before they planned to stop, because breastfeeding can be super challenging (which is also why some people choose not to do it). So health professionals and breastfeeding supporters sometimes choose to publicly acknowledge the effort and resilience of those women who are trying to maintain breastfeeding - partly because they know these women are raising their babies in a culture where they're surrounded by people like you who for some reason need to frame breastfeeding as a pointless exercise - usually out of jealousy or insecurity about their own parenting choices.

FWIW - your 'you can't tell who was breastfed or formula fed' point - you also can't generally tell whose mothers smoked during pregnancy, but that doesn't mean that remaining smoke free isn't - like breastfeeding - beneficial for babies.