Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

So sorry this happened and for all the unkind responses.
I don't have any specific medical issues and still find many days out dictated by toilet availability. I've loved visiting places where clean public loos are available everywhere, eg Japan - my personal bugbear is long bus journeys and then no loos at the bus stations. It's a massive issue that makes everyday life harder for pregnant women, anyone with small kids, elderly and disabled people especially. Some small towns in the UK have a community toilet scheme where various small businesses offer their toilet for public use when they normally wouldn't, mine has this in the doctors office and a few other places, so you could always propose this to the council as a step to a long term solution?
Now you know this is a potential issue (and in this case it sounds like you'd have struggled even if you did have more public loos, unless you were at exactly the right place at the right time), at least you can prepare with thicker pads. It's not the ideal solution but it is what it is!

She can pee in the street if she likes - pregnant women can pee anywhere under most by-laws. Surprised co-op do not have a customer loo.
Better planning would not help, baby had dropped. Some protection would be useful - I think you can get either pants or liners for pregnant women.

I see your point that's why I thought I better elaborate a bit more about where I live so I don't give the wrong impression. She sounds like she's at the end of her pregnancy and has had enough poor woman. It's not the staff members fault and the op will see that eventually but at the moment she's feeling heavy and tired.

Get some incontinence pads if you k ow accidents are likely.

@ThatRareUmberJoker that's ok then if they had the staff available.
My point was that so many shops simply don't so it's probably easier to have a blanket rule of no.
(I don't believe the OP said how many staff members were there though)

@Needmorelego in the co-op they know everyone who lives on this estate. It's local people who work in there my neighbour works in there with her son. I knew a couple of the mums who worked in there in the past.

Of course they did they waited until I finished or my child finished. The young women and men who work in there are lovely. The toilet isn't far from the staff door it's 5 steps away. It wasn't regular I've only asked a few times in the last 19 years I have lived here.

@ThatRareUmberJoker did a staff member accompany you through the backshop area to the toilet? I can't imagine they just let you wander back to where there's piles of valuable stock and personal items etc.
The biggest issue in shops these days is there simply isn't enough staff for one to leave the shop floor and escort someone to the lav.
Shops are practically running on fresh air rather than actually employing enough staff.

I have used the co-op loo and so have my children.

She hasn't named the staff member and no one knows where the op lives. Theo op was debating the policy around vulnerable people needing to use the loo. Do you think the young staff member will find this thread and have sleepless nights?

So invested that you have actually bothered to count! 😀😀

I was invested yesterday in the issue which is in part one of misogyny I think.

I am not invested engaging in increasingly pedantic point scoring.

not wrong about your opinion regarding the toilet situation dear. I agree that is a grey area, thus why so many posts on the thread.

Wrong because you said you couldn't see anyone who had directly blamed the shop worker whereas there are multiple people who had. Thus the quotes. You see opinions are subjective and open for debate, evidence is objective.

Also slightly pot-kettle-black to suggest I am "very invested" when you've now posted more than 20 times on this thread! 😀😀😀

Dear me.

Plenty of others share my opinion so I don’t think there is necessarily a straight right or wrong answer here but if it makes you feel better… 😀

You seem very invested in this! 😀

Ah yes, the last resort of those who can't manage the words "Sorry I see I was wrong..." 😀

Of course you can't use a staff loo!

From what you have said you asked a young staff member, and when she said no as she was likely taught to do, you did not ask to speak to her manager for a sense check but remained polite and went to leave the shop....and then decided to blame, name and shame co-op because of one young staff member?

If it was me I would have asked to speak to the manager, and then if it was still no, you could take a view on co-op's policies....but you yourself said she was a young staff member....so just how as this escalated to blaming, naming and shaming co-op on a public forum? She could have made a mistake!

I’m a bit astonished by the replies on here. I can’t believe that the shop would not let you use the toilet resulting in you wetting yourself. That’s awful. Why would anyone be so inhumane? Perhaps they will be kinder to the next person who asks.
Insurance seems to be mentioned a lot but a shop would have public liability insurance.

Use the school toilets. They will be appropriately insured for your use

In her original op "AIBU to expect some flexibility in branch policy to accommodate for those in need? It hardly fits with the coop key value of caring for others." That was the original question. She wasn't directly blaming the staff member she was debating the policy and what co-op claims to stand for. I remember what I read about what a CEO was doing in his spare time.

I am very sceptical that anyone has ever been sacked for letting a customer with a medical need use the staff toilets if they also accompany them. Many shops and organisations including the Co-op recognise the "can't wait" card.

@ThisHangryPinkBalonz plan better? @pelvicfloorisnomore was on a school run.

Its ridiculous. If I worked there I would have let you and to hell with a fucking policy. It’s not a male problem… if it was there would be loos everywhere for this reason.

How absurd! The OP has at no time suggested any kind of punishment for the frontline worker. Where is this silly attack coming from? Its not what she is talking about. She is talking about common humanity and shared concern for the wellbeing of another person.

You seem very invested in this! 😀

Despite all of your meticulous quotes; the majority of posters have acknowledged that the individual shop worker isn’t responsible, in the sense that they have some sort of character flaw or innate lack of kindness. Most people understand they have to follow rules.

However the majority of people who live in the real world also understand that rules can sometimes be over-ridden, and in exceptional circumstances, that might be the humane and correct thing to do.

Also, the majority of posters are I think blaming a societal issue, rather than individual staff, which leads to everyone very much being focused on profits and commerce and not so much on compassion for the elderly, the very young, those who have chronic illnesses, or who are pregnant.

Mate I am sympathetic, I have had all sorts of accidents everywhere. Urge continence is really hard sometimes. It’s a shame the shop couldn’t help.

Please, once the baby is born, look into pelvic floor physio. It’s difficult to make progress when you are pregnant because of the weight of the baby and the relaxin in your body. But honestly there is a lot that can be done after birth - it doesn’t have to be like this.

I had a birth injury first time round, with stress and urge issues afterwards, physio really really helped. But then my 2nd pregnancy meant everything relaxed and I just had issues very frequently (at work! The worst!). Everything is much better now with proper physio and only have very occasional stress continence issues.

Well you've got very poor best reading comprehension then. Even in the very first post OP said "The member of staff said no against policy and I soiled myself before I even made it the front door of the shop....could have been avoided if a little kindness shown."
An inanimate policy isn't capable of "showing kindness" and a manager wasn't involved. OP was directly blaming the staff member and saying she was unkind. It was only later when people pointed out this wasn't fair she changed her view.

Then just from a very brief skim further comments like "Seems very mean they wouldn't let you use the toilet"

"They should have let you use the staff toilet. When I worked in retail we often did."

"Some people are empathetic and would break a rule to help, others would not."

"I think it was quite degrading for the staff member to deny you of using their facilities. It really doesn't matter about their policies"

All of these and many other comments on this thread are clearly blaming and insulting the individual staff member personally or expecting them* *to go against policy and risk their jobs.