Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

It's not down to the individual staff members - it's a company insurance thing.

No you are certainly not being funny. Just lacking in basic kindness.

I think it was quite degrading for the staff member to deny you of using their facilities.

It really doesn't matter about their policies, it's just a toilet.

Sorry you were put in this situation.

Many years ago I was a 16 year old girl working in a Co-op as a Saturday girl when someone tricked their way into the back area, held up a gun and robbed the office safe at gunpoint. It was the scariest moment of my life and I still have nightmares about it. He looked like a normal friendly guy, face wasn’t covered, nothing about him suggested armed robber. He pretended to be a delivery man.

So whilst I absolutely sympathise with you (4 overdue pregnancies myself, also found myself in the same busting situation)…….. I would not have let you through a locked door into the secure area of the store, to risk my own safety or risk losing my job.

Were there houses nearby - would you have felt comfortable knocking on randoms doors and asking to go into their home and use their toilet? I’m guessing not, because that would compromise your safety. The co-op store member felt that same feeling.

I very much doubt there is a clause in the insurance that distinguishes between the back of the shop and the front of the shop. If there's something particularly dangerous in the back of the shop the insurance also wouldn't cover the staff either.

@KnottedTwine "Public liability probably. Stores are insured against the risk of a customer injuring themselves in the public area of the store by a can of beans falling on their heads or slipping on a patch of spilled milk. They are also insured against the risk of a staff member injuring themselves in the backshop area, and all staff will have had H&S training on how to stack boxes, how to clear floors etc. They may not be insured against the risk of injury to a customer in a backshop area, because customers shouldn't be there in the first place."

Exactly. Also letting a member of the public use the toilet means a staff member will have to accompany them and leave the shop floor.

A larger store with lots of staff may allow this but smaller as less likely to. Also a potential technique used by shoplifters to reduce staff on shop floor and less eyes on them. - particularly in smaller convenience stores where there many only be a couple of members of staff working

I'm sorry you had such an awful experience.

But it's not a case of whether kindness was shown or not. They would lose their job over it. If it was a neighbour or a business owner who didn't allow you to use the toilet then maybe that's an issue of kindness. But when you ask a retail assistant in a big corporation like Co-op it's not their decision to make.

As awful as it is OP, and I really do sympathise with you, they can't let you go. There's huge insurance issues.

Say you had to pass through the stockroom to get to the toilet, and on your way there/back tripped? They then have a massive problem on their hands.

I have a medical condition which means I often need to go to the loo urgently (wee not poo). I use pads but when I have an attack pads dont work as too much wee. I have a sheewee! Which means when I have to (and only when I really have to) I can go in a car with a blanket. Obvs not ideal but better than what you went through. Sorry for the TMI!

On a human level that's awful. It remember being 9 months pregnant in a Starbucks and I went to use the loo. The regular toilet was occupied, I waited about 10 minutes but couldn't any more. Next to it was a disabled/parent and child toilet. As a man came out, I went to pass him into it and he blocked my way and said "this is for disabled people". And he just stood there, not letting me pass. His wife also glared at me from a table near the toilet. Eventually he gave up and I went in but people can get funny about pregnant people using loos. (I should say that he was very clearly not visibly disabled so the fact that he didn't even consider that as a reason I might need to use it... also, I may not have needed the nappy changing facilities yet but try telling my pelvic floor that didn't urgently need the loo!!!).

But yes, insurance. It sucks but you can kind of get it.

I can assure you it is, at least partly. Mum owned a cafe and she could not let anyone in the staff areas at all because the insurance would not pay out if they injured themselves there.

Sorry you've had such ignorant and unsympathetic answers from some people here who obviously didn't read your OP properly.

It is rubbish but it sounds like their hands were tied. When I worked in a small shop I remember my manager taking someone to the staff loo in an emergency once, but she had to accompany them and wait outside the door, so maybe if they didn't have the staff they wouldn't have been allowed to do it. When I was pregnant with my second I weed in a few bushes in broad daylight... if you wear a long coat no one need see your bum.

No one has to risk their jobs for a customer. The school would have been a better bet.

It's nothing to do with insurance.

Public liability probably. Stores are insured against the risk of a customer injuring themselves in the public area of the store by a can of beans falling on their heads or slipping on a patch of spilled milk. They are also insured against the risk of a staff member injuring themselves in the backshop area, and all staff will have had H&S training on how to stack boxes, how to clear floors etc. They may not be insured against the risk of injury to a customer in a backshop area, because customers shouldn't be there in the first place.

Insurance doesn't cover customers using staff toilets. If you fell, hurt yourself, you could sue the shop. Not worth someone losing their job over.

Wow can you be any more unkind and lacking in understanding? Sometimes our body doesn’t always cooperate especially when heavily pregnant.

Have you read any of the other replies about insurance liability?

Seems very mean they wouldn't let you use the toilet although I can imagine chains probably just have strict policies and staff don't have the autonomy to use their judgment. I can't see what it has to do with insurance. Perhaps you should have tried a chemist? I think pharmacists would let someone use the toilet if they had a medical need or heavily pregnant.

DURA LEX, SED LEX

The law is tough but it is the law.
You are being unreasonable. The shop need to adhere to a series of strict rules when it comes to their dealings with the customers.
Sorry you had to go through this.

I am really sorry this happened to you but you can't expect someone to risk their job for this

OP I understand your embarrassment, that must have been really upsetting. I think perhaps you need to have a word with your DH about using the car. He needs to h understand that you literally wet yourself in public because you couldn’t get home quick enough. Had you had the car this may have been avoided, or at the very least you wouldn’t have wet yourself in public.

It sadly isn’t on the co-op to bend the rules for you, if you feel strongly you could always write to their head office. Sometimes they need to hear from customers about their policies, even if they don’t change them.

If your DH really does need the car then you might have to buy some adult incontinence nappies to wear on the school run in future. I know this probably feels even more humiliating but it is only for a short time and may relieve a lot of anxiety in the future.

That's awful from the member of staff. When they come to having children, I'm sure they will regret this horrendous behaviour.

I would be writing a formal complaint to the manager and taking it up at a higher level. Maybe even ask a solicitor to take this up as pregnancy discrimination.

Unfortunately, there are very few people with any morals left, I had my little boy last year and really really sympathise with you.

Some people are empathetic and would break a rule to help, others would not.

It's nothing to do with being empathetic or not, or wanting to help, or not. It's knowing that allowing someone through the back to use the loo and being caught (by another staff member, CCTV) would probably result in the loss of your job.