Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

Totally agree with this, there’s no way I’d risk losing my job (which would result in me losing my home), to let someone use the toilet. That’s just totally unreasonable. There’s likely to be cctv so it’s not like a staff member wouldn’t be found out, so they would have literally had no choice but to say no.

Having worked in a shop where very occasionally someone asked to use the loo, it's a logistical and security nightmare for staff and they could even risk losing their job for allowing you to use the loo.

Even if the staff know you by sight, you'd need to be accompanied to the toilet in case you tried to pinch something from lockers or the stock room. That would take a member of staff off the shop floor - which could result in lone working or a free-for-all for shop lifters/till thieves.

Additionally, as others have said, if you fainted/banged your head/fell/tripped etc. they'd not be appropriately insured.

If it was an independent business you'd probably have more luck getting them to bend the rules and taking you to the loo. Hairdressers are also often accommodating of people using the loo because some treatments lake hours and hours. But national chains of shops have sacked staff for less.

It sounds like this was rather an extreme situation - as you went from realising you needed the loo while in the shop to wetting yourself as you left. It seems probable that you may not even have made it to any loo on time.

Suddenly needing the loo in late pregnancy is a total pain in the backside and it's incredibly embarrassing when accidents happen. But the shop staff really haven't done anything wrong here.

We have an acute lack of public loos in this country and it makes life very challenging for people with disabilities and medical conditions. All I can suggest is writing to your local councillors or even your MP to push for public lavs in your community.

I wonder if it a reaction to more assaults on retail staff and more theft in shops.

I know Tesco here had an armed assault and staff procedures tighten as a result. It's going to lead to stricter polices by bigger companies in effort to reduce risk to their stock and staff - so once a pg woman known to staff may get benefit of doubt now it's a blanket no.

I agree with you @pelvicfloorisnomore a bit of kindness for a pregnant women would be good but society is gone to pot.

FWIW if this happens again, look for a pub and just go to the loo without asking if you can find the loo/know where it is.

Also if you lost control before you made it out of the shop, would you have even managed to get to the staff loo by the time they got someone to cover the till so they could take you, particularly if it was, for example up several flights of stairs (as it was at the last shop I worked at) or if someone was already in there?

Maybe supermarkets over a certain size should be obliged by law to have a public, clean, lavatory? They have fleeced enough farmers and made enough profits to be able to afford it. And they should install a Madame Pipi like in France to keep them in order!

how big is your local co-op?!

Some of the medium size supermarkets around me used to have customer toilets.

As soon as a restaurant nearby has been open for a couple of years I've noticed they have closed them.

Come on, @Offtheroof, you're really saying that you would risk losing your job to allow a stranger to use the loo? Really? 🙄

I get the argument that there should be more public loos, and it is very inconvenient if you are with children or other people with continence issues. By all means campaign to get more access to private loos, or more public loos. But it's very unfair/unreasonable to expect a shop assistant probably on little more than minimum wage to risk their income.

For a lot of shops it wouldn't be letting someone "nip to the lav" though.
Usually a couple of doors with keypad locks on to get through, 2 flights of stairs and a long corridor.

You’d have been better off trying the hairdressers or other independent shop. Especially one where there’s little worth stealing behind the shop front door

Most large or even medium supermarkets DO have public loos though. And most co ops are fairly small. I've never seen one the size of even a medium Tesco or asda. So it might already be law/policy and if it isn't and became so its unlikely it would encompass all small shops so wouldnt have changed ops circumstances.

I'd have knocked on a house door and begged to use the loo. It must be obvious that you are heavily pregnant and I'm sure someone would have been sympathetic. I certainly would. I once had a very upset female delivery driver confide in me that she'd unexpectedly started her period and could she use my loo and, of course, I said yes.

@Sixteenandfourteen789 the problem is that we have become a society where people sue for all sorts of things. So customer using staff loos, insurance won't cough up when customer slips on floor or has some other mishap as insurance doesn't cover customers in staff loos. And the customer then sues the company possibly using one of those no win no fee lawyers. Would you want that if you owned the company? It could easily put the owner out of business.

These aren't public toilets.

These are pubs, restaurants, cafes, train stations and petrol stations plus a small number of supermarkets that allow members of the public to use their customer toilets without being a patron or customer.

There some other pubs and restaurants who aren't part of the scheme who if you are with a small child, have a disability toilet card or are heavily pregnant will allow you to use their customer toilets without being a patron or customer.

I'm so sorry you had to go through this op. Sadly, as you can see from many of the replies on this thread, the majority of people think that following rules and regulations and protecting their jobs is more important that showing basic compassion and human decency towards a heavily pregnant woman. For what it's worth, I have witnessed school children asking to use the loo in my local Coop and they have allowed them to do so.

I really do sympathise with you but almost every week there's a sadface story somewhere online or in my local paper with someone who had an accident after being refused the staff loo at a local shop - I appreciate you have extenuating circumstances but so does everyone else who asks. Sometimes it's an old person who is incontinent, sometimes a small child, sometimes someone who is ill, a pregnant woman....if they let all these people use the loo they wouldn't be staff loos!

Once you let one person use it they are opening themselves up for discrimination claims if they don't let the next person. Plus as pps have pointed out there are insurance issues, health and safety, someone would have to monitor you so that's one fewer staff member on the shop floor, if someone made a mess in there staff would have to clean it, it means staff themselves can't use the loo while they desperately need it

The fault is with councils closing down public loos- but then they are hugely struggling for money so that's understandable too.....

Maybe the policy should be changed, and maybe it is inhuman, but that doesn't change the fact that staff can't just do what they think is right and totally ignore what their contracts say.

Retail is, unfortunately, one of those jobs where you have to follow the book - you can't just do whatever you like unless you're happy to risk your job over it.

Bless you - that sounds horrible 😥 Nothing to add but sympathy.

How do you know it's anything to do with insurance? It's much more likely shops just don't want members of the public in the back rooms where they could potentially steal stuff and they either don't trust the staff to follow them and keep an eye on them or they just don't want them to spend their time doing that rather than stocking shelves and serving customers at the front.

I remember someone let a member of the public in to use the staff loos. It was through the locker room and they stole two wallets on the way out. It’s policy whilst horrible for you it is what it is. It isn’t the stores issue they just have no public loo and you aren’t staff.

For everyone saying “oh this isn’t the store’s fault, they have to abide by policy”

Well maybe the policy needs to be changed to incorporate a bit of civility in to our daily lives?

Why is consumerism the only factor that seems to matter nowadays?
Why isn’t human dignity equally as important?

Don’t tell me that supermarkets don’t have the money! They are making a fortune from us.

Maybe supermarkets over a certain size should be obliged by law to have a public, clean, lavatory? They have fleeced enough farmers and made enough profits to be able to afford it. And they should install a Madame Pipi like in France to keep them in order!

I am very sorry that this happened to you op.

If men had to endure pregnancy and do the lion’s share of parenting little kids, and looking after elderly parents, there would be a public loo at every corner!

Honestly, the older I get, the more angry so feel about this sort of thing and the more I feel that this is a feminist issue. and what damage has been done to our society by prioritising the car and the consumer above the youngest and eldest members of our society and pregnant women!