Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

We live in a strange and horrible society these days.

No you missed the point because you told the OP to use the school loo.

Is that so hard to get?

I worked in retail for many years and like many others have said it’s usually always due to insurance that public are not allowed to use staff toilets. It also doesn’t matter if the staff know you well, we wasn’t even allowed to let family members use the toilet it was always strictly staff only. Breaking a rule could mean job loss for a member of staff.

im not saying that I agree with the rule but I understand why shops have it and stick to it.

Hope you are ok💐

The risk of losing their job is more theoretical than anything.

I may be the odd one out here but I think losing the job is a red herring.

That would have to be something very serious to occur that went to court, or if another asst 'told the manager' and he was unsympathetic.

You're missing the point.
No matter why or how quickly you need a loo, the staff cannot simply let folk use staff toilets.

My statement was that there should be some flexibility in those policies. I don’t think what happened to me in their store this morning fits with their key values

That's not how policies and insurance works 🙄

I think one difference is lower staff levels in many shops - not sure about Co-op but other shops there are noticeable less staff about.

So if they were expecting a delivery or only had one or two people on shop floor anyway it would be hard to spare the staff member needed to escort.

I don't know - the OP could write to central office and try and get an explanation and ask for more general consideration - see if that has any effect.

Absolutely agree with this. Very well said. It's an absolute disgrace there aren't more public toilets.

OP I'm sure you're absolutely lovely and there would be no issue with your using the loo.

But policy making has to account for the generality.

If an exception is made for you it would also have to be made for children/elderly/people with health conditions. That's a lot of exceptions.It probably translates into 'anyone'.

Who's going to decide?

People are revolting. The loo could be left in a disgusting state.

Who's going to clean it?

The store is not just a corner shop, it's also an employer. Staff deserve a nice toilet not abused by the public.

Sorry. YABVU.

Another poster missing the point.

Can you not understand that the urge came over the OP very quickly?

The staff probably don't get asked all of the time and in any case they should see that a heavily pregnant woman is not in the same category as some other people who may be asking, for dubious reasons.

Unless the risk of the store assistant losing their job is zero, it’s unreasonable to expect them to break the rules, unless it’s genuinely a matter of life and death.

You're welcome. It's sad you expect more consideration from random Co-op staff and Mumsnet posters than from your spouse. 😨

OP is blaming the wrong people.

@wombat15 why do you assume they have a choice?

You can't just allow Joe Public to wander around your stockroom, or to walk through the office where there's money or other important documents being kept - for obvious reasons.

When I was in retail management, our policy was that no members of the public were allowed off the shop floor - at all - no exceptions. We weren't doing that to be difficult - we had no choice but to follow our insurance.

If a customer had gone to the stockroom and tripped or fallen, or something had been stolen, or a staff member got hurt or attacked, we'd have been fucked.

People here are all about fault. I’ve noticed that. If they read an OP post and can assign blame then the issue is “solved.” If they can’t they blame the OP for her “expectations “ or her “entitlement “ or(absurdly) sometimes for her privilege. The four horseman of mumsnet circle with their cries of self abnegating suffering “I had twins in the carpark through my nose and no one ever helped me! What makes you so special?”

That is not the issue here. The OP doesn’t need permission from mumsnet to blame someone. its not a question of the jobsworth types. Its a question of our common humanity and common sense. If we stop caring for pregnant women, children, the elderly (alllllll of whom would benefit from public loos) what then of our supposed civilization? Why rush to the bottom instead of demanding more and better treatment?

I’m heavily pregnant, due in a week. I wouldn’t expect to use their toilet. You’re only considering your perspective. The staff likely get asked all the time by people with various reasons. They cannot bend the rules and are simply not allowed to say yes. I often pop to the shop after the school run. I manage this by using the toilet at the school before heading to the shop.

I think you're blaming the wrong people here OP.

You clearly haven't experienced the dramatic change from slightly needing to go to being desperate in 2 seconds.

The OP said it was instant as the baby moved position.

It's not like being able to hold on for half an hour.

Honestly...

We get that it's unpleasant and potentially embarrassing, but it's not the fault of the Coop staff.

Rather than obsessing over the Co-op's corporate values, why not put your energy into making sure this doesn't happen again? Is your husband going to leave his heavily pregnant wife the car tomorrow?

I sympathise but I don't think I'd have kept shopping and checked out if I was so desperate to have a wee that I was going to wet myself!

I’m so sorry this happened to you - it’s awful and I would be really upset if it was me. I worked in a Co-op years ago and we used to let people who were desperate use the staff loo - usually a member of staff would stand outside the door. We stopped after an incident where someone soiled the entire cubicle and walked out.

My son once loudly announced he needed the loo in the coop. The staff member did allow us to use the toilet but the walk there was a h&s nightmare, cages everywhere, not very tidy, quite a few trip hazards too.
I was grateful but from that experience, I can see why they should and would say no.