Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

Well maybe laws could be adapted so that it is obligatory for every private landlord that leases to small shops that trades in a town centre, or retail park, to contribute to a common government subsidised fund that also provides infrastructure like lavatories, drinking fountains and places for the elderly to sit.

There's some really unkind responses on here some of which have shocked me today, it's possible to make your point without being a dick

YABU pregnancy, illness or injury is not the stores problem and none of them deserve to have their jobs put at risk because of your condition.

Why would they not have a choice? Joe public isn't more likely to have an accident than a member of staff so I can't see why insurance companies would have that exclusion.

Is Joe Public dressed appropriately and wearing correct footwear? Do they know which parts of the stockroom they're allowed (or not allowed) to walk in? Have they completed all the necessary health and safety forms and informed the company of their medical history? No - which is why they're not covered by insurance.

What if someone is there for a job interview or a workman needs to go in the back for example?

Workmen have to sign in and out, and also have their own insurance. People on job interviews would also have to sign in/out and would, again, be accompanied at all times.

This thread has just reminded me how glad I am that I don't live in the UK any more.

It's a bit of a tangent, but last night I was talking to a client who is a primary school teacher, and previously worked in London. I was asking her about the differences. She said the relationships between staff and children are just much warmer here. If a kid is upset she can give them a cuddle. And I'm very glad to live somewhere where regulations don't stop my child's teacher being able to comfort them when they need it. But of course in Britain everyone would be yelling 'safeguarding!'

Also, small stores tend to only have one or two staff on the floor during quiet times. Taking a customer into the back would either leave the floor empty or, more likely, one member of staff alone which would go against their lone working policy. And be very helpful to the shoplifters.

I'm so sorry this happened!

I am very sorry - how awful for you.

I think it’s terrible society has devolved to such an extent that so many think it’s acceptable for a heavily pregnant woman to be treated this way - whether it’s at the behest of an individual’s choice, or a corporation’s policies, it lacks humanity.

It's a horrible world where senseless rules about insurance are more important than human kindness or dignity.

What nonsense this is- I seriously doubt that there has ever been a huge problem of people taking shops to court for letting them use staff toilets. The world is currently full of these kinds of stupid rules, and everyone just says 'health and safety' or 'insurance', and common sense and kindness go out the window, in fact you can't even argue. Dumb rules trump everything else, and everyone nods along gravely, saying we can't even discuss this because 'staff might lose their job'. They only lose their job over something like this because the world has become so inhumane.

Maybe contact the co-op head office? Perhaps it will inspire a change in policy. It's unfortunate that this happened though i can see that it probably was a blanket rule and not up to the cahier. I had to use incontinence pads a bit last pregnancy. Keep up those pelvic floor exercises!

The stock room is where the shelves are. Possibly where equipment and/or chemicals etc are stored
The staff room will be back there with staff bags etc

Insurance WILL differentiate and the store would be in the absolute shit if something happened back there

So YOU don't know the size of the shop or how often OP goes there but more importantly the staff member she spoke to wouldn't have known whether it was a "one off" (my personal experience, the fact that I've seem multiple news articles, threads on MN and even several posters on this thread have had their own experiences confirms people ask to use staff toilets A LOT) nor whether she "obviously" needed a wee.

Op said she "soiled" herself which usually means poo but even if she didn't how on earth is the staff member supposed to know? Are you really suggesting she should have stood there asking op exactly what she was planning on doing in the loo? Being pregnant doesn't mean she couldn't also have had diarrhoea or vomited everywhere. Pregnant women also use drugs, you don't magically stop being a junkie when you get sperm in you.

Besides which even if they used their magic toilet powers to establish that OP was just going to have a wee, she ended up not even making it to the front door so it is equally likely she would have lost control on the way to the loo - so they still have to clean up piss or shit in the stockroom or stairs or where they eat their lunch.

And what if they do somehow manage to establish OP was a lovely person who was just going to have a nice clean wee but someone standing next to her said "oh i need the loo too" - how do they say no to them without being discriminatory?
It's "well known" that young children and disabled people and elderly people and people who are ill ALSO might need a loo suddenly.

Do you think pregnant women should be the sole exception and no other groups of equal need? What if they said "oh I'm pregnant too" - how do you prove they arent?

It's not a different issue at all -the question is why shops don't let members of the public use staff toilets and my answer is why - because staff don't have magic toilet powers to tell who is honestly desperate and wants to use the loo as a one off and will clean up after themselves and someone who will make a huge mess/nick something.

Why would they not have a choice? Joe public isn't more likely to have an accident than a member of staff so I can't see why insurance companies would have that exclusion.

Obviously shops are not going to want non employees to wander around the shop with no supervision as they could steal half the stock. That doesn't mean they would want to be in a position where Joe public isn't insured for accidents though. What if someone is there for a job interview or a workman needs to go in the back for example? No shop is going to want to leave themselves open to being sued for damages and not having insurance.

@MrsLBrown I don't think you realise how easy it is to lose a job in retail. If you break policy, there's very little flexibility - it's "you didn't do X, that's gross misconduct" - they won't care that you were trying to be nice or that the customer was pregnant.

If you wait until something serious occurs, it's already too late (in their eyes) - they just won't allow people to take risks.

All supermarkets should have one clean, unlocked toilet. The reason why I stress the fact it should be unlocked is my local co-op used to have a customer toilet where you had to go to the customer services desk and ask for the key. And then there would be minutes of

"Oh yes, I gave it to that lady with a perm, and then she handed it back in to Janet and then...what did you do with it Janet, dear?"

"Oh I gave it to the family with the three kids and then they brought it back and then I gave it to the man in the nice tweed jacket and then I'm not sure what happened to it after that,"

By the time the key was eventually found, it would have been quicker to walk home. Sometimes, the queue for the toilet key was longer than the queue at the check outs.

Maybe supermarkets over a certain size should be obliged by law to have a public, clean, lavatory?

Lots of them do though don't they, co op doesn't have any supermarkets as such, they're all a fair bit smaller.

But that's exactly why this was such an extreme situation that unfortunately it was difficult for anyone to help.

It sounds like within a minute or two from realising you needed to go it was already too late. Presumably the co-op exit was only a few steps from the till where you first asked about the toilet.

Realistically it was unlikely you would have made it while they paged for someone to come and take you to the toilet and walk you through the back of the shop anyway.

If you'd been in a big supermarket with public toilets but you were in an aisle on the opposite side of the shop in this situation you would be unlikely to have made it.

If you'd been sitting in a pub and the toilet was tucked away up a flight of stairs (as it often is) you wouldn't have made it.

If any of the above situations had occurred and you'd got to the toilet but it was occupied for 5 mins, you wouldn't have made it.

I'm not trying to be harsh but it sounds like things went from 0-100 in a matter of 60 seconds and there was little anyone could do.

I suspect women working in the Coop may not want to have to allow members of the public into staff only areas.

The problem is once they make an exception it opens the floodgates to lots of others asking for loo access for a variety of valid reasons along with the chancers. Then suddenly stores need to provide serviced facilities for all to use which can be expensive to maintain, especially the hygiene bins.

PP mentioned being sacked for doing the very same thing. Why should an employee even put themselves in the position of being subject to disciplinary action?

That's not the fault of the Coop.staff. 😵‍💫

They can't have members of the public where they're not supposed to be, insurance, security, risk assessments and also if you do it for one person, you have to for everyone, if they need escorting each time as they are not in a public area this is a problem. As difficult as it is yabu

Yes, this. The staff member is there making a living. They're not accountable for corporate values to the point of risking losing their job.

No fair enough but all these comments that are effectively saying,

” just because you are pregnant doesn’t make you special you know”

are so depressing!

Being pregnant is very special indeed!

We need to recognise and acknowledge the importance of women and pregnancy.

Because humanity would literally come to an end without pregnant women. There would be no shops, no food stocked within them, no roads, no infrastructure without women incubating babies.

We are special for that reason alone. And we need to stop being so apologetic about having wombs and menstruating and having basic needs.

Fhs, shouldn’t have to pee ourselves in public to comply with laws written by clueless thirty year old men and because the patriarchy has decided that consumerism reigns above every other decent civil need.