Not allowing heavily pregnant woman to use a loo

Apologies, commented on the wrong post.

Doubtful.

But it's not just insurance as others have pointed out. Letting the public out the back of shops where there is stock and staffs belongings is not a good idea.
If you decide to allow "pregnant women" what about the elderly lady who has bladder issues? So you let her go. Then a younger woman in her 30s who says she has bladder issues? Or the man who says he has prostate issues so it's desperate? Where do you draw the line? How do you know if anyone is lying? Do you let the smartly dressed 30 year old man use it because he's polite and well dressed? But not the 30 year old man who looks homeless? The pregnant lady who actually might be a criminal despite being pregnant. Or the non pregnant lady who genuinely has issues but you can't tell.
A young 20 year old staff member might be OK to follow the pregnant lady to the loo and keep an eye on her. Not so sure about her doing the same with the 40 year old scruffy bloke who claims he's desperately.

Sorry this happens to you OP. And I'm sorry there's been so many horrible comments on here as well. It's quite distressing for you but I also imagine it's hard for staff to be put in this position as well. It's probably a safety issue. Try a cafe next time.

I've been pregnant.
I've also worked in a Coop.

Co-op also has a duty to "be kind" to its staff who are facing record levels of violence and crime.
www.co-operative.coop/media/news-releases/co-op-members-drive-change-as-shopworkers-to-get-the-protection-against

I still can't see what they could have done differently. Or how they could have been more prepared in the event of your situation arising.

Op... Hats off to you for engaging in this conversation so reasonably. Everything you've said has been balanced and fair, no attitude of entitlement or blaming at all. Your point of view entirely understandable.
You were caught in a human predicament and as others have said, when society is all hard edges and 'since when were you owed a favour!' or 'why should I!?' we lose that which makes us a community together.
I hope you experience care and kindness out there today and don't let some of the harder voices here dim your humanity.
💐

I understand what you are saying but surely the issue here is that both of the facilities for the public and the staff are inadequate here.

Also, I understand that the public do not always respect facilities, but speaking very geberally, if people are treated with decency, they respond in kind.

But an act of kindness to the OP could mean someone losing their job, which would be very unkind for them. I don't know what the answer is really. It all started when people stopped considering accidents as one of those things and started suing for all they could get.

I'm sorry this happened to you OP. Have you thought about contacting Co-op and pointing out that your experience didn't align with their corporate values? Might help another woman avoid a similar experience.

I think the obsession on this thread with access to a car is really odd, unless people are having toilets installed in their cars these days?!

I mean seriously??

What a world we live in.

Having a different opinion doesn’t mean I’m “missing the point”. Don’t try to patronise me.

Yes, very aware of that urge being heavily pregnant myself. But also very aware that it’s an unrealistic expectation to expect access to a toilet wherever I go.

It’s not simply a case of them “seeing that a heavily pregnant woman is not the same category as other people”. There are strict rules in place that they HAVE to follow, whether they like it or not. Breaking these rules based on their own judgement of a customer isn’t an option, and it’s unfair to expect them to do this. Particularly when it puts their job at risk in a cost of living crisis.

Yes it's policy but also discretion I'd say.
My local garage and Morisons local (both without public toilets) have let my 5 year old son use their staff toilets when I asked.
I'm aware of insurance etc, they and myself chose to take that risk.
I must say whenever I was pregnant I was never refused toilets, I didn't need it much but i do remember using some shop toilets when pregnant.

Sorry you've had a hard time op.

The world is very anti mum.

I barely left the house post 35 weeks.

There is no guarantee of kindness anywhere.

Imagine this:

Staff member is one of two staff on the floor. She takes OP out back, against policy. OP is in fact part of a local vicious gang, faking pregnancy to distract staff. With one member of staff now alone with her (where she can either distract them or lock them up elsewhere) the other staff member is now alone on the floor with her partner. Who pulls a knife on them as they rob the place. The staff member on the floor ends up getting hurt/killed. And because a staff member ignored policy the insurance refuses to pay out...

Or OP has to walk through the stock room to the loo. She trips over/something falls on her and causes injury. It's against policy for the public to be back there and insurance doesn't cover public in this area. No payout....

Policies are there for a reason and not just "because corporate aren't customer focused"

Absolutely this! 👏👏👏👏

Best post of the entire thread!

I'm sorry if I don't word this well, I'm autistic and really struggling mentally, please don't jump on me. I've been in your situation, it makes you feel so vulnerable and anxious leaving the house and you lose faith in people. In America in 2015 they actually brought in a law called Ally's law, I think it's in 20 states now, shops legally have to let disabled and pregnant people use the toilet. In England I've found it really depends on the person you ask, which doesn't give you confidence leaving the house, I use the strongest incontinence products but sometimes they fail/leak. I'm physically disabled and I need to shop at budget shops that often don't have toilets, I've been refused them, but BandM actually apologised to me and said they'd retrain their staff. I can't tell you how badly I often get treated as a disabled vulnerable person, not just about toilets, it's about humanity. Toilets are a problem for disabled and pregnant people in this country, why is America ahead of us by nearly 10 years?

I agree, but it also feels like some people have not been employed in a low-wage retail job where everything is so precarious and bending the rules, even for a good cause, could be disastrous for you. It's a no-win situation.

I bet most have. I have.

I agree there should be more public toilets. But even if a small shop creates space for one loo, if that was occupied when the OP needed it she would have had the same issue if the need was that urgent.
There's also the issue of space for staff to have storage for their belongings that the public can't get to. If you start letting the public wander around out the back it puts the staffs belongings at risk.

Where I work we have 2 toilets. One for staff and one for patients. The staff one is upstairs and just a toilet cubicle and the sink is in a separate room that also contains staff belongings.
The toilet downstairs is a self contained loo with sink etc inside. Recently a patient complained someone was in the downstairs loo and so she wanted to use the upstairs one. We let her as she said it was urgent but told her she would need to come downstairs to wash her hands as we can't let people into the staff area with the sink as everyone's belongings are there. I cannot tell you how much she complained about that. She was trying to force the door of the staff area open because it was "disgusting that she was expected to wait to wash her hands downstairs". So sometimes you just can't win. You try to be nice and you still get people complaining.

I feel like the people commenting have not been pregnant!

Every post-partum, perimenopausal woman feels for you op.

Apologies for not rtft, have you heard of Elaine Miller https://www.natracare.com/blog/qa-elaine-miller-pelvic-floor-physiotherapist-comedian/ .

She is quite outspoken about the lack of awareness of pelvic floor dysfunction and has lots of advice about how to help.

Wishing you well for your next birth, you're not alone.

I feel for you but it is down to self care - tena incontinence pants are much better and hold lots more volume than a pad and are very comfy and discreet. You only have a few days to go so good luck

It was others on the thread saying they had no morals, I didn't mean you.

I get what you're saying, but I imagine they have very specific remits about how they are caring and socially responsible, no? I don't believe that every business has to be everything to everyone.

That being said, I do think more businesses should try to enable toilet access where they can. Not always possible for a myriad of reasons though!