There is a backstory here in that PILs moved to a two up two down cottage/terrace in a semi rural area in the COVID no stamp duty era. They previously lived in a bigger house much closer to us and liked to have people over. They are now an hour away. We tried to gently broach how their lifestyle was going to work with the house when they were planning the move but they didn't want to hear it. Since then we had DS and PILs have been resentful that we don't have them do regular childcare, and don't accept really that the logistics wouldn't work, I think they just believe I'm favouring my parents and being awkward. We see them roughly once a fortnight on average although they would say we don't bother seeing them enough.
The house is small. So is our house, so it's not about being snobby over it, but they seem to still want to host like they used to.
Recently MIL complained that she would offer to host an extended family get together but no one ever wants to drive out to see them, and DH said in the car in the way back how he wondered where they were planning on putting everyone if they did host. PIL like to have DH and I and DS plus SIL and her DH over at the same time. There aren't enough seats in the living room for the adults so someone needs to sit on the floor. DS already tends to end up banging his head on furniture when playing as there is very limited floor space. If we eat at the table in the kitchen folding chairs are needed and we all need to shuffle around with our backs against the wall. We tend to spend a weekend with them including an overnight to do Christmas together. This is already changing as when a baby DS would sleep in a double with us to stay over but now he just won't sleep in bed with us and there is no room to put a camp bed down.
Now SIL is expecting next year and I've found out I am too!
We were talking about Christmas and I said next year maybe we had better book a pub with a soft play to be able to accommodate us all, or maybe even go away somewhere after Xmas. MIL was absolutely spitting feathers, absolutely indignant that we would be having family Christmas at their house and began speaking about the extra furniture they're going to purchase. I didn't really say much else although I was thinking that this was really no solution. Maybe we will be able to bring folding highchairs next year and keep babies on laps but even so, soon enough there just literally won't be room to fit in 6 adults and 3 children. They already don't have a Christmas tree as there is no room for one.
So was I unreasonable in my assertion about pub or going away? I do feel a little guilty as I do realise they want all their family together but to me it doesn't matter what the location is. I already find it a bit uncomfortable at their house but I'm dreading next year as feel like we are going to be literally squished in thigh to thigh and I won't be able to relax trying to manage the kids not being trodden on.
I'm happy to be hit with it though if I'm just totally selfish! AIBU?