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AIBU?

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Things DP said to me while on holiday

641 replies

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:01

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

OP posts:
catlover123456789 · 09/10/2024 18:12

You deserve better.

Josette77 · 09/10/2024 18:10

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 14:48

@speedmop He’s a good dad I can’t fault him for that and I get on with them really well

Your kids are learning that it's ok to treat women like this.

He is NOT a good Dad.

gerryk62 · 09/10/2024 18:10

Christ he is a right pig

Winfield · 09/10/2024 18:05

Yes get it shot of him, run a mile. You are worth so much more than this horrible arrogant man.

Prettymum2006 · 09/10/2024 18:03

In all honesty OP he sounds like he is about to go through some kind of midlife crisis. Like those horrid men who criticise you whilst trying to boost their own ego and make you feel like it’s your fault when then cheat. Absolute bellend who doesn’t deserve a minute more of your time. You can do so much better, don’t settle for this shit! You are definitely not being over sensitive here, don’t let him think you are

Bumblebeestiltskin · 09/10/2024 18:02

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/10/2024 14:57

An essential part of being a good dad is being a good role model, including being good role model of how to communicate with your partner. Would you be happy if your DC grew up feeling that the correct way to treat a female partner is the one your DP is modelling?

This! It makes me so sad the amount of people who post about their abusive arsehole partners and say 'but he's a good dad!'. Just because he's not yet abusing the kids, the fact he's abusing their other parent means he's a horrible dad just like he's a horrible partner.

Airspice · 09/10/2024 18:01

Nasty nasty horrible man. Please do not stay with him, he will destroy you with his chipping away and your children will grow up thinking it’s acceptable to treat women/be treated this way.

Sennelier1 · 09/10/2024 18:01

Now I'm curious how he looks. Is he tall and handsom, perfectly dressed, in splendid health? God's gift to women, a superhero, a looker? He must be because if not then why do you choose to be with him? I'm not exactly impressed by his character and personality 🤷🏼‍♀️

AllyArty · 09/10/2024 18:00

He is being deliberately unkind and you are not overreacting. my first though was is he interested in someone else or having an affair? Sorry I don’t mean to throw a spanner in the works- it was just my first thought.

Otessa · 09/10/2024 17:58

He's really horrible. Reminds me of my nasty abusive ex who was always putting my appearance down. I got rid of him which is the best decision I've ever made, took awhile to get over all the things he used to say though.

You can do much better, OP.

MauveExpert · 09/10/2024 17:57

This is awful and terribly abusive behaviour. My ex husband used to say awful things to me and I wished I’d posted like this- when you are in it, it’s hard to see that it’s abuse.

Im guessing this is part of a catalogue of behaviour.

Please consider carefully what your options are here. That’s no way to live xx

Gillbertine · 09/10/2024 17:56

I hope he has a six pack and looks like Brad Pitt. If he doesn’t - Dump him 😂 seriously don’t waste your time with somebody like that!!

CardiffD · 09/10/2024 17:56

OMG DUMP HIM. He’s a POS.

MammaKel · 09/10/2024 17:56

He's definitely "punching".

Get rid of him.

Lanzarotelady · 09/10/2024 17:55

He has no respect for you as his partner, the mother of his children, or you has a woman.

Is this really the example you want setting to your children, is it?

If you're still with him after this, then I am sorry, but I don't have any sympathy for you.

MustWeDoThis · 09/10/2024 17:54

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 13:42

@Ivehearditbothways Yes DS does go to nursery but his needs are high so I often have to go and collect him early if he’s not coping. I can’t commit to a job when things are like this. When he starts reception next September then I’ll go back to work

Edited

Why are you doing all of the caring? Surely it should be split between you?
I think you need your own independence- You could even study with the Open Uni! Kick this losers arse to the gutter because he sounds very resentful of you and he is looking at and pointing out other women in front of you.

He's a sexist pig and gaslighting you to feel like the bad person in this situation.

What would you tell your own child in this situation?

Jumpers4goalposts · 09/10/2024 17:53

He sounds vile. Why are you with him?

OneCheekyRedAnt · 09/10/2024 17:53

Get rid. What a tosser.

Skyelils · 09/10/2024 17:49

He’s a cruel pig dump him

Notateacheranymore · 09/10/2024 17:49

Why do so many people think that if a thought comes into their brain, they should release it into the wild.

Pretty much all of those things he said should have stayed well wrapped up. He’s a bit of a knobhead.

Poodlemania · 09/10/2024 17:48

What an absolute pig.
I would tell him that nobody should mention someone else's weight or criticise them.
I think you should bin him , he sounds like a complete knob head.

Greenshed · 09/10/2024 17:48

You really do deserve better than him. Easy to say “leave him”, I know, but for your well being I think you must. He’s controlling you at the moment by his behaviour and that is not good. Listen to what has been said on here already and get him out of your life - there’s someone much kinder out there, honestly.

Totemoneru · 09/10/2024 17:48

This man sounds like he doesn't respect you and spends too much time thinking about other women. You deserve better. You deserve the opposite of this.

retirementrocks · 09/10/2024 17:47

He's a bully and bullies always have their own vulnerabilities. What are his do you think?

SuperBlondie28 · 09/10/2024 17:46

He sounds like a complete knob! I think it's a sign of an insecure man when they do that. My husband has done it and I just ignore him totally now and he's stopped it . I am very thick skinned as had verbally abusive mum unfortunately.

Or OP, next holiday, you start making some comments about some of men you see, who may be younger and better dressed than your hubby.

I mean my hubby is a bit chubby and I'm like 😂😂 'That woman wouldn't be interested in your body, she's way out of your league dearest'!!