Things DP said to me while on holiday

The more information you share the worse he sounds. The sad thing is your DC will see how badly he treats you and thinks it's normal. He is a crap partner and a crap role model. You deserve so much better. My first husband was a bit like yours but not quite as bad. He is my exh for a reason I picked much more carefully the second time.

He sounds like a complete and utter prick. Does he think he's better than you and you are lucky to have him? If I say my back hurts my DH tells me to sit back and relax and he does all the running around after DC. I'm overweight but if he sees I have on a new or even a different dress I have not worn for a while he always tells me I look beautiful. Your DH could try showing you some love and affection. Whatever happened to love and cherish?

that shows how much he's already worn you down. you are not being oversensitive. he IS being spiteful, and that's not okay in a relationship. he wants you to think nobody else would ever want you, so you put up with anything he does. which will probably include him cheating on you if it doesn't already. he wants you to forgive him because you think it's put up with that or be alone forever because nobody else would ever want you. that's not true.

he doesn't love you. he doesn't even LIKE you.
he's abusive. it's a well known abuse technique to wear away at your self esteem so that you think you can never do any better than him, and won't dump him however badly he treats you. he's trying to turn you into a meek little doormat that will let him get away with anything.

trust me. not only CAN you do better than him. you WILL do better than him. someone who at least LIKES you for a start. you're too good for him, because he's an abuser.

If I was him, I'd get a food taster.....

Please dump/get rid of this awful person. He does not love you, he laughs at you, calls you names, undermines and disrespects you. He clearly doesn't like/find you attractive and wants you to loose weight and wear gym leggings, he regrets being with you and having children at 21 and feels trapped. He is a nasty piece of work, you deserve better, funny how you'll feel better when he's gone, no longer walking on egg shells, more confident and happier. As you have a child with additional needs/,carer for that child your probably exhausted and don't have the time or head space to look after yourself, dump the bastard, and invest in self care and you'll be feeling and looking better in no time x

Well don’t actually tell him he’s lucky someone washes his underpants because from today on, op, they don’t.

So sorry to read all of this @noodlewoo .Unfortunately I have had a friend in a similar position. They got together young like you, had a child young (unplanned), got married, had a second child. However I think he always had in the back of his mind what his life would have been like, what he was missing out on etc. and when DC2 was about 12 or 13 he started behaving oddly. Lying about where he was going, not coming straight home after work etc. and then out of the blue he left her. He denied there was anyone else but very quickly was in a relationship with a younger woman he worked with so he is/was reliving his 'youth'. It unfortunately sounds like your DP thinks the grass is greener elsewhere and that he is missing out on something. He also seems to think he's hot stuff making comments about one of you 'punching'. The cheek of him! The long and the short of it is that when couples get together young, one or both of them can have these intrusive thoughts about 'what if?' but it is very unfair of him to verbalise that to you in the way that he has been.

Just posting again as I didn't see you had 2 children. They will grow up seeing him speak and treat you that way and will think it is ok to do or ok to accept from other people. If you haven't already, I would start getting a contingency plan together to leave as I can imagine it will be more difficult with children. Do you have any friends or family who could support you with this? Do they know how he treats you? And no I don't think you're being oversensitive at all xxxxxx

Please tell me you have got rid of him. What a total horror. Don't even think for 1 second that he will stop being like this and don't be fooled by moments where he has been "nice" to you.

He's a bellend.
A nasty bellend.

Get rid, it's very likely you guys will split up anyway, might a well leave on your terms before you catch him screwing around and he destroys all of your self esteem.
It's not good for children to be raised in n an environment where one parent is bullying the other, they learn this behaviour is normal and acceptable and then often replicate that toxic dynamic when they are older in their relationships

Tell him he's not body beautiful himself and he has many imperfections which you have the decency to keep to yourself. Then tell him to bugger off

Get rid of him not only is he undermining your confidence by comparing you to other women he’s also a letch. You deserve better!

FFS OP get out now, I have been there and it went from bad to so much worse. DP’s behaviour is disgusting and disrespectful, I’m sorry but he isn’t happy with the way you look and your weight and it will be a problem for him whatever size or appearance you are, this will just continue. Get out now!!!!

No he shouldn't be doing that either! How do you think that's a compliment?

Bless you, ignore him and get rid of him. You’re worth so much more than this, he clearly thinks he’s “gods gift to woman”. You can do so much better. Look after yourself.

This! What a vile man. ⬆️

I couldn't get past that. I'd be seriously considering getting out.

Agree 100% with this.

I am so sorry OP that you’re with someone who is so nasty, manipulative, undermining and abusive. I’m assuming this isn’t new behaviour, but is escalating, hence your post?

I hope you believe you have options and can leave him. You’re so young, he will destroy you over time and I’m sure that’s not the life you want for you or your children. Is this the kind of relationship you want your children to emulate?

People like him, who seek to make themselves feel better by criticising their partner and mother of their children, are really disgusting human beings. Has he told you you’re being “over sensitive”? It’s classic behaviour of that type of abusive individual,

Please get some advice and review your options. You deserve so much better. He needs professional help.

You are not being over sensitive and to say horrible things then say “ l was joking” is passive aggressive. He sounds discontent with his own life to be honest, and is projecting / blaming that on you . Don’t absorb his issues. It’s hard but work on your own self esteem and never rely on validation from someone who acts so badly. It’s pretty toxic even if he is a good dad ? YOU matter in this family and if he can’t support and love you the way a husband should then he’s not cut out to head into moving forward with you. Good luck. I hope you get the strength to make a decision not to be bothered by this childish behaviour.

He should be slapping you ass when he sees you bending over to get something, not asking these sorts or questions or saying these things.

To answer one of his questions, he’s ‘punching’.

An oaf! I hope you can escape. Such a bad example for the chidren, too.

I agree entirely. I can be down on myself all by myself. I do NOT need assistance, thankyouverydamnedmuch.

I’d absolutely get myself in shape, healthy and fit. Spend on a new wardrobe hair and make up….then invest in a luxury bag and buy myself divorce diamonds!!!

this guy unless a fit stylish model of a man shouldn’t comment and absolutely doesn’t deserve you!

get rid.

Is he Adonis?
Right out of the pages of Esquire and Vanity Fair?
Does he model for the big houses?
Is he a prime, prominent, super-fit athlete?
Do strange women in airports comment on his fabulous looks?
Do all your friends and colleagues fall all over themselves when he’s around?

In other words, my fine friend, @noodlewoo, you should probably remind Mr. Wonderful that he’s not so mucking fuch.
And tell him from us to STFU, that he’s lucky someone washes his dirty underpants.
❤️

Absolutely he's a shameful father, not a good one at all.