Things DP said to me while on holiday

I’m also 29, had my first child at 21, and just got back from holiday with my DH. These are some things he said to me “you look so good” “no one would guess you’ve had three children” “I love it when you wear that” “your the best looking girl here hands down” “you really timed your perfection perfectly for this holiday” “three most beautiful girls (me and my two DDs)”

That’s what your DH should be saying to you! What your DH is saying to you is awful!

She can’t kick him out of a joint tenancy. And the police won’t remove him unless he is being arrested for domestic abuse and is then bailed to another address. The police cannot just remove someone from their home with their name on the tenancy. Are you stupid?

And the child goes to nursery and is about to start school, so she can work.

She hasn’t decided not to work, she’s a carer for her disabled child. They have obviously been together since they were very young so it’s easy for him to do a number on her and gaslight her into believing she’s all of the nonsense things that he claims she is. If she kicks him out and he refuses the police will remove him and he will have no option. More than slightly clueless aren’t we dear?

This

Your DH isn't shy about telling you he's eyeing up every trendy young thing he sees, is he.
What a nerve, what a crummy holiday you must have endured with this loser, no wonder you came home feeling like you did, rather than happy and refreshed.
Sorry for your loss of a holiday, can't imagine being home with this person is much fun either.
Your DH is an abuser, an emotional abuser, no wonder you have chronic pain, likely anxiety and depression.

She is an unmarried mum who has decided not to work. She is incredibly vulnerable. She picked a guy who sounds like a total shit to have kids with (and it doesn’t sound like this is new behaviour so not the best decision maker which again, makes her vulnerable). And she really thinks he is going to give up a secured tenancy willingly?

Your husband is a massive bellend who clearly has been brought up with no respect or manners. Until I read your updates I thought you were much older especially considering the fact he used the term “trendy”. That would give me the ginormous ick in itself without all of the other misogynistic comments and put downs. I’d sack him off pronto if I were you if you’re able, you’re far too young to be stuck with a man whose morals and views wouldn’t have been out of place in the 1950s. 🤮🤮

This.

@noodlewoo he sounds absolutely vile you definitely deserve better. I woukd love to see his face when he has been given the boot and he sees you in your gym leggings set! Keep your head you don't need husband negative attitude.

Get rid. Awful things to say.

I'd suggest you tell him to go to his mums/a friend for a few days so YOU can have some time to see whether you want to continue putting up with someone like that in your life.

You'll probably find you're much happier and won't allow him back.

I'll give it to you from a mans perspective he sounds like a Mahoosive twat!

I agree he is not sounding too good, but once he realises how wrong he is and how serious she is, it may make him think again.

IME they would swear black was white before realising and admitting "how wrong they are". They will always twist reality so that it's the woman's fault, and that therefore their horrible behaviour is entirely justified.

Once it's got to that stage, it can't be mended.

To me it sounds like he's dropping hints and trying to sabotage the relationship so it gets to a point he feels justified in walking away.

Get rid, and don't look back. You deserve so much better in life than putting up with a spiteful bully.

This !

You are living with a bully. He's spent the last 12 years making you feel like you are not good enough for him. Like the behaviour of laughing at you getting changed...if one your children said that was happening at school changing rooms you know you would see it as bullying.

I know it's been a long time you have been together and you are pretty reliant on him at present but life can be a lot more pleasant without a bully in it chipping away at every ounce of self confidence you have.

I think you should tell him he's punching and then saying you can't put up with it anymore and you're off to upgrade!

OP this dick is NEVER going to change. He doesn’t even like you, he has completely checked out of this relationship and in putting up with it you are actually enabling him.
Have some self respect and get rid of this dead weight from your life.
Good luck 💐

Are you, by any chance, related in some way to speedmop?

You can’t force him. If he is on the tenancy then you can’t force him. Even if the kids won’t live with him full time.

And again… how are you going to afford it?

He sounds like a total douche BTW.

You don't make jokes at other people's expense. If you love someone, you don't put them down and chip away at their self-esteem. If you care about and respect them, then when they tell you your comments are hurtful, you apologise and want to make it right - you don't immediately justify it by saying it's banter or that they are being over-sensitive.

You don't have a sense of humour / I'm only joking / I'm saying it to help you - all the standard bullshit lines of the negging arseholes who think that the best way to keep their partner is to destroy their self-esteem so completely, that they won't say boo to a goose.