Things DP said to me while on holiday

My husband has never wanted me exposed clothing wise or overly made up. Not sure what that is, but if semi naked women turn men and they are out there, eyeing other women, even girls, this is creep behaviour

Your DH is rude, so rude.

Sounds like he’s contemplating life, you, and your relationship. I wouldn’t be shy about giving it back to him and telling him how it made you feel. Maybe he’s not the only one pondering how their alternative life could have panned out.

From your description I’d say he is an overt narcissist. The reason he wants you to dress up is two fold. First he gets to humiliate and degrade you by using a third party (triangulation) and secondly he wants to show you off, like a trophy. You are his belonging. This is how they see the world.

He is not. If belittling their mother to the point she feels shit about herself makes someone a good dad then he's a fucking fantastic Dad. The reality is though that he isn't. He's a prick.

And as I haven’t seen it mentioned, learn about narcissist personality disorder. You have one of ‘em on your hands.

They’re parasites and they’re everywhere

You’re going to need to undo years of damage that he has done to your psyche. I know, I’m in the process of escaping one of these disgusting men after decades.

I’ll bet you walk with your head down now, right? This man said none of this accidentally. His intention was for you to feel awful, then you won’t feel good enough for anyone else.

Kick him out by any means necessary. Play dirty if you have to, just get rid. Then begin the process of retraining your children on how they treat women/are treated because I can assure you, there is already damage.

This is not a good dad.

if you have daughters, they will end up with men like this. Run far away, cannot stress this enough.

You are with an abuser.

What a truly horrible/ disgusting man.

Please want better for yourself! Tell him to fuck off I am sure he’s not perfect!!

But what message is he sending your children when they hear the way he talks to you

@noodlewoo

Oh, and 'triple up' your contraception. The last thing you want is to get pregnant.

What the… the end of that relationship before you crumble.
We all have our own insecurites but for someone that suppose to love you is making you feel so small is the most painful thing in this world. Take no shit from him anymore. He doesnt deserve you.

You’re not being over sensitive. Your husband is a little boy, drop him and find a man.

No woman should tolerate a man who compares her to everything that moves. Filth. Have some self respect and divorce the child.

He's a nasty prick.

He's going out of his way to belittle you (the changing room laughing? What the actual fuck). He's trying to make you feel like shit, and he's being spiteful.

Echoing other posters - a good Dad would not be insulting and bullying his kids' mum.

Your partner should be building up your confidence, not grinding you down.

@noodlewoo

He’s a good dad I can’t fault him for that and I get on with them really well

The first mark of a 'good dad' is that he treats his children's mother with respect, and with love if they're together. This man does neither. His comments were abhorrent, and honestly I think he says those things with the specific intent to hurt you because he enjoys seeing you in pain.

By any chance was your first child unplanned? Could he feel he was 'trapped'? I really hate men who feel like that because if anyone is 'trapped' by an unintended pregnancy, it's the woman.

I do think that you should get back into the job market asap and get away from him, but you know your situation better than I. So what you should do, since you have a year to go, is start NOW planning to make your exit. Start stashing money away, get some kind of training if you need it to reenter the job market at a decent wage. Start exploring resources for your child and what childcare you may need. And remember that this prick will have to pay CMS. Easy enough if he's a wage earner, but if he's self employed or could easily go cash in hand, you'll need to plan for that.

Also, and I'm sorry to say it, but a man like that is very susceptible to cheating. This is another reason why you need to stash money away, starting immediately. He's as much as said that he wouldn't be there if it weren't for DC. Believe him and plan that he may very well walk out someday. Don't be blindsided.

Seek support from family and friends. If you have ONE friend or relative that you can lean on who will keep your confidences during this 'planning time', can help you keep your 'fuck you fund' securely stashed, and who will have a sympathetic ear when you need to vent, seek them out and confide.

And investigate the lease on your place. I'm not in the UK so I know very little about social/council housing in the UK. But you want to be sure that your name is on that lease and if it is not, GET IT ADDED. You cannot be sure that this man will 'go quietly' when the time comes so you need to be educated as to what, if anything, can be done. There was a recent thread (may still be active) in which an OP found out her name wasn't on the lease and she was forced to leave.

Don't sit around hoping that the future will be better because he will never change and likely will get worse. So make your own future a better one without him. You deserve it.

Good dads don’t belittled the mother of their children.

You remind me of another recent poster whose DC had started joining in with their father. “Mummy, you’re so fat and silly.” Do you want your DC growing up to think it’s ok for men to talk to women like this? And please don’t say he doesn’t do it in front of them… kids absolutely pick up on this behaviour.

Good dads don't belittle their partners.

An essential part of being a good dad is being a good role model, including being good role model of how to communicate with your partner. Would you be happy if your DC grew up feeling that the correct way to treat a female partner is the one your DP is modelling?

Really really hope you told him that people would certainly think he was punching above his weight. My god. Hope you’ve dumped him already.

This type of bloke has an official designation.

He is a bell end.

I would ditch him.

Run 🏃‍♂️ 🚩🚩 🚩 🚩

Wow, he's awful.
I wonder how he'd look in lycra?!
Sounds like he has terrible taste in clothes too...he wants you to wear leggings that go up your arse and give you camel toe and cold midriff?!

Being shitty about your period really is bang out of order, no excuse at all for that.

Wow he needs to be dumped you deserve better get rid of him pack his bags and throw him out that man doesn't deserve you and it's disgusting looking at other women in front of you and then saying about their clothes etc as well tell him to go fuck off with the women he was looking at what a asshole

I hope your husband has washboard abs, is dressed to the 9's and never ever complaints about any physical ailment. If not the case I would come on him like a ton of bricks.