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Original poster

Things DP said to me while on holiday

641 replies

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:01

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

OP posts:
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OldScribbler · 23/11/2024 10:27

Laurmolonlabe · 12/10/2024 23:47

Is he absolutely gorgeous with fantastic taste in clothes, do you feel awed next to his presence? If the answer to any of these questions is no then tell him to shut the f**k up.
How you look and dress is up to you- it's nothing to do with him.
Personal comments like this means he does not love you for who you are-we all deserve to be loved for who we are, anything less is a compromise.
He thinks you are not making enough effort, but he is just not enough, even if he looks good he is decidedly lacking, he also has no empathy which is something every person needs to be suitable as a partner for anyone human.
Any man thinks having a period is disgusting is either a massive misogynist or a closet homosexual, or both- you would be better off alone IMHO.

Maybe he needs to be told he's not every woman's dream himself.

IveShaggedSomeMingers · 22/11/2024 16:46

North Wales? 😆I was thinking something like a restaurant specialising in game, a butchers, a charcuterie, a farm shop, Waitrose meat counter ...

OldScribbler · 22/11/2024 12:14

IveShaggedSomeMingers · 22/11/2024 08:46

@gingerlions , you'd probably be better off starting your own thread, but the talk of meat does seem excessive unless your new workplace is in a meat-focussed area.

What on earth is a meat-focussed area? Maybe it's North Wales

IveShaggedSomeMingers · 22/11/2024 08:46

@gingerlions , you'd probably be better off starting your own thread, but the talk of meat does seem excessive unless your new workplace is in a meat-focussed area.

gingerlions · 22/11/2024 08:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

HelenInHeels · 18/10/2024 06:23

JoBoJoBo · 17/10/2024 23:46

Does he normally speak to you like that.Have you put on a lot of weight if so perhaps you can look at healthier lifestyle together ? He needs to apologise for his behaviour though .

Show quote history

You think it's that simple? You can't take that approach with an unreasonable gaslighting bully.

JoBoJoBo · 17/10/2024 23:46

noodlewoo · 08/10/2024 07:01

Commented on what I was wearing to the airport. He said “you could have made more of an effort. “look at all these girls wearing trendy clothes. You need to start wearing clothes like that” I mean we literally had just got to the airport to go on holiday. Not a great start

Then when we got there he continued to point out what other women were wearing. “I like those gym leggings and sets” Don’t you wish you could wear stuff like that”

Continued to remind me that when we get home I need to get back on my diet. Maybe this is where I’m being sensitive because he said “for your sake not mine”

Then he asked if he thought people would put us together. Wasn’t sure what he meant so I asked him. He said well do you think people would think either of us were punching.

I sometimes have trouble with my back where it “goes” We were on a boat trip and when it was time to get off and stand up I said ouch and told him my back had a little twinge. He said “don’t start”

Then on the morning we were due to go home I came on my period and said I was “angin” for people who don’t know what that means it basically means disgusting

I’ve come home feeling a bit shitty and unloved but I’m not sure if I’m being over sensitive. Seems like he possibly doesn’t find me attractive which if that’s the case then fair enough but how would this make others feel?

Does he normally speak to you like that.Have you put on a lot of weight if so perhaps you can look at healthier lifestyle together ? He needs to apologise for his behaviour though .

ThinkingOfAWittyUsername · 15/10/2024 12:26

Forgive me as I haven't read the full thread yet, but how long has he been saying things like this to you? Is this new behaviour or has he always been a gaslighting, horrible person?

SusieLawson · 14/10/2024 20:42

He sounds like those misogynist men in the USA who make videos saying they don't want women, but instead of doing what they say by leaving women alone, they then spend their time on the video comments trying to make women feel bad about themselves and promoting others abuse women.

RoxyAlex77 · 14/10/2024 12:38

I am so sorry he spoke to you like this and made you feel so bad in your holiday. You are not being over sensitive

RoxyAlex77 · 14/10/2024 12:36

Hi am so sorry he spoke to you and made you feel this way.
You are not being too oversensitive

HiEarthlings · 13/10/2024 19:01

Why is he not "EX-DP"? You need to start giving him a taste of his own medicine. Comment on any good looking, buff guy you see. Make a verbal note, when he's within earshot, of how other men look so good in their clothes and why can't he look like that? If he's got a beer belly, comment on that, if he's skinny, mention his lack of muscles. After a few weeks of that, tell him to sling his hook because you've realised how "angin" he is! You deserve someone who appreciates you for YOU! He'll soon realise, far too late, that he's not the every woman's dream, and realise what he's lost.

Lifeisbetterbythesea · 13/10/2024 15:29

Hi OP I hope you're ok....please gather your courage and strength and walk away from this so called relationship.I know it's easier said than done! You have to be brave and strong!
You're not being loved.... you're being mistreated mentally and emotionally.
I hope you realise this will eventually break down your self esteem,self belief,make you so insecure you'll lose your ability to be strong and stable.
Please for your sake take the advice given here.
I wish you all the very best for a better brighter future,
Best wishes OP 🌠🌠💕🫂

JustBrowsingTheWeb · 13/10/2024 14:17

I’m screaming at my phone “tell him to F off”

Bcmbc · 13/10/2024 13:32

Total cunt. Leave him right away.

Skybluepinky · 13/10/2024 09:47

Leave him.

Bluebellbear · 13/10/2024 09:33

Lots of tough love for the OP, needed but probably hard to hear and easier to bury head in sand. I do agree with everyone saying leave the man (boy!)
but lots of women just don’t leave. It’s easier (in their mind) to stay. As they have no comfortable way out/income etc. OP. I would seriously suggest becoming as independent as you can financially/turn to parents for help etc and just be without this awful man. You’re young and still have the chance to meet someone else/get a fabulous career etc etc. fulfil yourself. This man will never do that. Leaving him will be so liberating!
all the best

Saltandvinegarchipstick · 13/10/2024 09:03

ClemenceD · 13/10/2024 00:58

What did he mean by "punching"?

“Punching above your weight” - a metaphor from boxing. It’s used when someone is dating someone “objectively” more attractive than they are. So “you’re punching” means “your partner is much better looking than you”. In this case, based on his negative comments about her appearance, he clearly thinks she is the one punching, because he thinks others will think he is the better looking partner. However based on the evidence we have of his personality, he’s very wrong!

Saltandvinegarchipstick · 13/10/2024 09:00

This is clear-cut emotional abuse. It isn’t likely to get any better, and may well get worse. It will be hard after the damage he has done to your confidence, but get out and find someone more deserving of your love. Every single one of those things you mentioned is a dumpable offence, so you’re definitely not over-sensitive. That’s what he wants you to think. Men like this probably have low self-esteem themselves, and they’re afraid of losing you so they want to drag you down as well. Deep down he knows he’s not worthy, and he is right. Don’t waste any more of your time on him.

AmIEnough · 13/10/2024 08:48

He sounds like a prize wanker! He is clearly having a problem with your weight, whatever that is. The fact that he added the caveat that he was mentioning your diet “for your sake” and for your health was just avoidance in order for you not to realise quite how much he was actually expressing his own views. And regarding the fact that he wonders whether one of you is punching above their weight, well clearly he thinks it’s him! I think you need to reevaluate your relationship with this man as he’s going to grind you down. I’m sorry for you.

Katthedog · 13/10/2024 07:34

He is 'angin'

Id dump him based on his angin comment alone. One reason being is that he's actually a stupid person, he's actually not intelligent in the slightest to say that about a period.

But the way he's made you feel on holiday- that's awful. A caring person who was in any way worried about your weight for your health would sit you down in the comfort of your home and sensitively speak to you about how they can help you be healthier (sometimes we need a little help and that's ok!) but this is NOT what is happening here. He's not worried about your health, he prefers other women's style and figure and thinks that he's too good for you.

DUMP HIM

Lalalalalalalalalalaoohoohwee · 13/10/2024 06:20

Jesus, you're not being oversensitive, he's bullying you. Leave him. Nobody should talk to you like that, let alone someone who is supposed to love you.

ClemenceD · 13/10/2024 00:58

What did he mean by "punching"?

JFDIYOLO · 13/10/2024 00:15

What an arsehole.

Criticised your weight, dress sense and attractiveness, comparing you to other women, making snide remarks basically suggesting you're not good enough for him and shows zero care for you being in pain. Also doesn't get that women have periods.

He does not like, love or respect you.

So what keeps you with him?

Seriously. What EXACTLY does he bring to the party?

Lifeisbetterbythesea · 13/10/2024 00:11

Really sorry you're being treated in this way.That's a really shitty way to speak to /treat you.What a horrible person he is!
If you've been in the relationship a while and he's been chipping away at your self esteem you'll need to be kind to yourself and build yourself up.Bin him and take care of yourself OP. You are worth and deserve so much more!💌🫂