To be scared to have another baby after DH poor show last time.

Get the fuck out of there! What are you waiting for?

He sounds utterly vile. How you can bear to be in the same room as him I don't know.

I think this is one of the most horrific things I've read on here and I've been around for a long time.
Please, for the sake of you and your child, leave. Go be with your family.

Oh my god, I cannot comprehend even treating a complete stranger the way he treated you, let alone someone I supposedly "love", who's just given birth to my child.

I'm glad you don't love him. He doesn't deserve your love. He doesn't deserve a single minute more of your time.

And for what it's worth, plenty of dads DO step up and not treat their partners like shit.

Drop him like a stone, love. You can do SO much better. You'd be better off alone than with a vile specimen like that.

Defo not unreasonable. I'd seriously consider if my life wouldn't improve without him in it. Sounds like a man child.

Absolutely get rid of him. You don’t need him in your life. What an asshole for the way he’s treated you

If you have a big supportive family and own your own home then I say that you are also not the best parent for having the options to leave and you are choosing to stay. Even worse for entertaining a second of this irresponsible idea of having a baby. You should have kicked him out a very long time ago. And don't say he's a 'great dad', no great father treats their newborn and wife that way.

Id never get over that. Dh played golf 2 days after we got home from hospital with DD and I still kind of resent it 6 years later

hope the separation goes well. Your soon to be ex sounds horrible.

I would have left him. How can anyone watch someone they love suffer like that?!

OP, a bit different situation as my friend was desperate to be a mum.
Her DH behaved very similarly to yours with the first baby, and then again with the second, and then again with the third…until she finally worked out she’d have less work to do looking after the kids on her own. She was the one desperate for kids though, I don't know how keen he ever was on the idea really.

If you were my daughter I’d be encouraging you to separate as quickly as possible. If he’s like this at 30ish, believe me he will be a delight by the time he gets old and miserable!

Put them in motion then. Please leave this disgusting excuse for a man. How dare he treat you that way and say those things to you. I feel angry for you. You need to end this relationship and leave as soon as you possibly can and don't look back. You deserve way more than this.

I don’t think I could be in the same house with him anymore let alone sleep with the pig 😳

I lurk a lot but don’t often reply on MN.

My first born was an emergency C section. Baby was early (36 weeks) and couldn’t maintain body temp and I needed to hold him overnight to keep warm. I was terrified of falling asleep and dropping him or suffocating him. My husband wouldn’t stay overnight to help as ‘he needed to look after the dog’. One night baby lost a sock - I got onto the floor to pick it up - and couldn’t get back up into bed. Back at home husband would sleep (and snore) through the night and then complain to everyone he was so tired because he had a new born baby.

We went on to have a second child. I had a major haemorrhage and was a coma in ICU for 2 days followed by 5 days in hospital. Midwife’s organised a private room so that my husband could stay and help as I wasn’t well enough to look after baby. My husband wouldn’t stay as he ‘needed to look after our first child’ even though my mum had flown out from Australia to help. The nurses end up taking my baby overnight to look after. Back at home with a a toddler and a baby and my husband moved into the spare room.

I learned then that when I was at my most vulnerable I couldn’t rely on him for help. When someone tells you/shows you who they are……

what a vile man your husband is with no care or respect for you. Definitely divorce is the answer here. How awful for you to have gone through that

Wow. That’s hideous. I don’t think I could forgive that.

I've just read your updates

Honestly OP, get rid of him and do it at the earliest opportunity.

Are you unreasonable to say no more children?

You'd be unreasonable not to divorce the twat!

My DH really suffered (much more than I did) with the broken sleep when our DS was newborn but he wouldn't have dreamt of sloping off to the spare room, much less name-calling!

“Poor show” being the understatement of the century. Please don’t waste another day of your life on this man. He’s pathetic and cruel.

Also, the deception required to lie to medical staff and pretend he’s taking care of you… he’s not just cruel and I do wonder if he’s an actual psychopath.

@Matildahoney
Please get him some chocolates and put love from Mumsnet on the card 🤗 He sounds lovely

Please please take your dd and run away from this man.

So why is he so keen on having another baby? Let me take a wild guess, your first was a girl and being a manly sort of chap he wants a boy to bring up in his image, form a dynasty and prove what virile boy making sperm he has.

Love, he told you he wanted you dead.

He neglected and insulted and treated you like shit after the most traumatic time of your life.

Please don't get pregnant by him again. You know EXACTLY what will happen if you do.

See a solicitor asap. Bear in mind that as you're married he'll have rights to your property, so you'll need their professional advice.

Your and your child's future can be left in the hands of this man - or in yours.

This is very similar to my experience of birth, really showed me who XH was. I got divorced as soon as I could. You are right, it will be the making of you.

Leave him and never look back.
His actions have shown you the type of person he really is - cruel , abusive unreliable
Im amazed you are still with him after what he’s put you through.
Hes the problem not the solution