Aibu to be so irritated by this boy

It sounds annoying but by 6 there's a lot you can do to head off some of the questions and they are all around consistency.

No special plates, just plain plates and cups.

Make the same meal and dessert. Ideally without options for seconds. Set up some games when he come round and start a routine. Games, play time woth your dc while you cook, tea and family game.

No if course it's not normal. It could be neurodiversity - an extensive vocabulary and accurate grammar but strikingly lower level of genuine social and communication skills (i.e. he isn't sure how to make conversation or signal his presence and be acknowledged and this is the strategy he's developed).

It could also be that this is how his family talk to one another at home or that he started along this track and it was successful at home and nobody has modelled better social skills in a family context.

It's not normal or abnormal but he needs firm but gentle boundaries setting asap to support him in learning when to stop asking, which thoughts we keep in our heads (i.e. I want to be given my friend's portion of dinner as well as mine) and what it's rude to say even if you say it politely.

Well, that’s what I meant. It’s fine at home, but a bit forward in someone else’s house.

I’d find this annoying and had stock phrases for my kids to stop pestering .
“What does mummy mean when mummy says no?”
etc

It pretty clear that service is higher at his house than mine. And he is used to it.

Him: What's for dinner?
Me: chicken and rice (I know he likes this / eats this)
Him: can I have something else instead?
Me: you can have some bread/ fruit but that's what we've got for dinner // no (he can't- it's his dinner. It's not pick and choose and he likes the menu)
Him: thats a shame. Can't you make fish fingers instead please? // no
Me: no not tonight, maybe next time
Him: can I have the spiderman plate pls?
Me: yes
Him: can I have that paw patrol cup please
Him: actually can I have that plate instead
Me: yep
Him: can you put on some music?
Me: yep (puts music on) // no
Him: Is there any more food?
Me: yep extra rice but no more chicken // yes rice!
Him: I wish I could have extra chicken. Do you think your dc will eat all theirs? I wish I had theirs
Me: there's lots of other food you can have // no you can this x or x.
Him: no, I only want chicken. What's for dessert?
Me: yoghurt
Him: can we have those biscuits instead / can I go in the garden / can you get that toy down from the shelf / can I do painting/ can I have an ice cream / can I borrow some clothes and get changed / can you fold 10 bits of paper up / can you get some scissors // no
Etc etc.

Close the conversation and questions down instead of opening up more questions.
Make sure there are activities for him - books, toys, drawing things and engage him in that instead of all the questions. Does he play woth your children?
He can easily get used not to bother you about everything and which aren't going to change if you are upfront in your communication but a lot of 6 yo children are alike that age.

Where is the politeness in suggesting OP cooks him something different for dinner (more than once) and then when he has what she's already planned to cook and enjoys it, complains there isn't more and maybe he could have her children's portions too?
The only person I feel sorry for is OP who seems to have the patience of a saint!

Tbh just say no you can't.
Everything is not to be discussed.

Maybe he’s simply seeking interaction to try to orient himself in a different family.

Could he be trying to imagine what it’s like to live in your household rather than his own eg the wanting to borrow clothes to change into, (which is slightly odd.)

Children can be hyper-aware of the smallest of differences in the way another family does things. The way they cook and serve meals, different food combinations, where they sit, how things are arranged such as toys, clothes, furniture layout, garden layout, kitchen implements, fruit bowl, different smells, whether or not you have to ask to do things or just take things to play with, behavioural expectations, routines and little family rituals etc etc. The differences can be scary for some children but really fascinating for others especially if they aren’t used to being in different houses.

He sounds quite bright and sociable and curious which is good and I would maybe try to ask him a few questions too, or play with him a bit more, to draw him out, instead of letting him lead all the chat.

I would also find this pretty annoying. He is clearly comfortable enough with you to ask all of that. Holding firm to the current plan will help (he'll soon realise you're not negotiating over options), but I'd also ask him some questions or try and engage in another way so it doesn't feel like he's constantly pestering and critiquing the situation.

He's not being rude but the endless stream of questions is annoying!!! not much advice to give but lots of empathy! my 7-year-old is an endless narration of stuff he's seen, things he wants etc while my 3 year old is in the "why?" phase - I have no nerves left for them to get on! 😂

well...i tried to say "are you hungry"but fuck it ..lets do this.ask him that?lmfao

Sounds like every child I have ever had to look after tbh.

Yes I think this sounds pretty normal. My 6 year old is a lovely little lad who gives us no trouble at all, but he is still a small child and small children are fairly self centered and lack certain social graces.

My son would be a lot like this boy at home. He won't expect to get everything he wants, but he knows that sometimes you might say yes, so he asks! Maybe one day you will say yes to the fish fingers or the biscuit!

I'd probably be embarrassed to find he had been like this at someone else's house, and would have a talk to him about what is polite and what is not when you eat in someone else's home. My own son hasn't really spent many meal times outside of our house, and maybe this boy hasn't either and is just talking to OP as he would his own Mum.

occupy him
ask him questions..are youmjungtu,we do chicken rice,,i hope yu do clean plate,turn it around?

He is 6 years old. Normal 6 years old who really confident thats why he asking a lot. And he uses please. You are being unfair to him

Sounds like you are dealing with it excellently. Saying yes and no in all the right places.

Yanbu, I also find kids like this really irritating. Maybe that makes me mean but it's true, especially when they verge on being rude (asking for someone else's food for example)

No one's saying OP has to give in, and as PP said he does seem to accept a No. Mine can be a bit like this with us, all in a very whiny tone of course which isn't annoying at all... 🤯 She wouldn't do it with others but perhaps if she was in their house every week she might chance her arm.

We have a saying - never do anything fun. I'm betting OP put music on during dinner and now will be asked to do it again every. Damn. Time. Even if she says no.

Little kids can be annoying.

Just to add, if you don't pander to it, and make it pretty clear you don't really care if he eats this or not but you won't make something else, he will soon stop.

YANBU - some kids are just annoying! Mine included a lot of the time.

Exactly this. My son had a friend like this. Extremely intelligent, but also very manipulative, even from a very young age.
Unfortunately his mother was often around, so I had to humour him a bit more than I otherwise would have, and pretend to actually buy into what he was asking for, as she was a good friend of mine and I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

But when he was on his own with me, I would pretend I hadn't heard, or just jolly him along. eg when he says 'can i have something else', I would merrily trill ' no, that's all we've got today, and what a lovely lunch we've had' - now off we go to play' etc. Or when he says he wants their food, say 'well, you can just have a big dinner instead - now, let's play UNO' or whatever.

He is testing you and knows what he is doing. I bet he does it with his mother too, but she may not realise it.

Nope, I'm with you two. It's uncanny how like my 6 year old this is 😄

Maybe try and give him a job OP. If he has a thing about plates and cups maybe he could get the plates out for everyone, set the table and get some cups of water on the table for the kids. Might keep him quiet for 5 minutes.

I'd probably make whatever craft things he likes a bit more accessible so he can help himself and not have to bother me.

Also my son can suddenly eat A LOT. He always asks for more meat and fish. He is also a chancer, waiting on the sidelines like a vulture ready for his little brother's uneaten protein.

This can be typical for ND kids. That's what it reminds me of. The intent is in no way meant to be rude, instead many kids operate with complete honesty instead of following all of these societal rules such as being completely deferential to adults. ND or not, I love his confidence. He isn't sounding rude, he's just not adhering to the typical hierarchy and people notice this.

I do understand it can become very tiring or annoying though for you.

You could just really kindly say to him ' this is the choice, X or y and then just send him out to play. Off you pop now Timmy, got lots to do.

I don't think that would be mean.

Is it really that normal as everyone is saying? To ask for music to be put on with dinner and for a different dinner to be made and hint that maybe the other children could give up some of their chicken? I would find that a bit forward and annoying, but if he isn’t being outright rude would try and put up with it.