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Original poster

“Strong sense of justice” - unreasonable?

30 replies

Waiting9 · 07/10/2024 19:23

I have been seeking counselling after being sexually harassed by my manager at work, my therapist has said that I have a “strong sense of justice” and stand up for myself. Is this a bad thing? Is this something I should change?

I complained about my manager at work and got managed out of my job, and I can’t help but wonder if I should have “played the game” and kept him on side until I found a new job. However his behaviour was increasingly inappropriate and I felt backed into a corner, if I didn’t complain he would have wanted more from me that I didn’t feel comfortable with. He was asking me to stay at hotels with him, would speak to me about sex and dating and how he thinks I’m attractive. I don’t necessarily have rigid morals elsewhere, but I can see how I made unpopular decisions at work by not letting things slide and by rocking the boat, which allowed my manager to successfully manage me out. The truth is, no one else at work cared enough about me to act on my concerns, and I was unpopular enough that others sided with my manager.

OP posts:
Original poster
Waiting9 · 07/10/2024 19:33

Thanks. My therapist didn’t say I was inappropriate but I do want to discuss it further (the session ended right at that point, so I need to wait for next time)

I wouldn’t say I’m a black and white thinker, I studied psychology and philosophy myself and have worked in mental health services myself in the past. My current role is in the civil service and I suppose I feel like my employer should have less grey areas as it’s a public company - there has been other incidents in the team such as racism etc and I always felt it was a HR nightmare. I was a manager myself so felt in a precarious position if I didn’t have a low tolerance approach to the racism etc.

OP posts:
bergamotorange · 07/10/2024 19:31

I think it's a compliment.

Have you spoken to a solicitor?

Smartiepants79 · 07/10/2024 19:30

I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing and in the position you were in I think you did the right thing.
Are you a very black and white personality though. Sometimes things can have grey areas and require a bit more nuance… this can be where a ‘strong sense or justice’ could be interpreted as maybe lacking in social understanding or empathy. Its difficult to know.

user1471453601 · 07/10/2024 19:29

Of someone told me I had a strong sense of justice, I might take That as a compliment. Did your therapist tell you it was an inappropriate sense of justice?

Octavia64 · 07/10/2024 19:25

It's not a bad thing.

But as you've seen, and as I also learnt, if you play the game you get much better outcomes.