AIBU to think maybe some people just like this... or is it me??

Have a look at Pathological Demand Avoidance and see if it rings any bells. My DS1 is like this and I am to a lesser extent.

I was like this when I had clinical depression. Everything was too much effort, but I could put on my game face and go to work. It was like being an actor, then when I got home, I would crash and need to sleep.

I find it much easier to shower later in the morning - if I do the school run then go to the gym, it’s easy for me to hop in the shower afterwards. It feels really really hard first thing in the morning.

I used to cycle to work and shower there, and that was super easy too. It’s just getting straight up out of bed and into the shower that I can’t face (also hate evening showers as I’m winding down then).

Have you tried music to help, make a playlist on Spotify that covers your morning routine and give each group of songs a job

Shower to Spice Girls
Dry and dressed to Destiny's child
Breakfast and teeth to Backstreet boys

Perhaps 10 minutes to each of your favourite artists and you'll know which jobs to get done. I work way better and complete tasks much quicker if. Have a deadline - even if it's a musical one. The task becomes secondary to beating the clock. Of course sometimes deadlines have the opposite effect so worth a bit of trial and error.

For things like moisturising can you keep the bottle close to wear you work, or sit and watch TV etc. I keep my hand moisturiser on my book case next to my desk so I remember to do it.

Suncream by the front door and hang a mirror to check you've rubbed it in.

Toothbrush in the kitchen and do them whilst the kettle boils etc.

That would reduce your morning demands and spread them out.

For some reason I find brushing my teeth a total PITA. Have no idea why as it isn’t hard to do but I have to force myself every time.
Hate having my hair cut.

Ugh I know. I wish I'd never started with the sunscreen tbh

For me, it's the demand and all the steps I need to take in the process to actually start. I have mixer taps, so have to try and get the temperature right. That's enough to put me off. I hate getting naked, I hate having to dry myself etc etc.

I hear you loud and clear.

This is all so foreign to me, I'm struggling to understand it!

Is it that you don't have the physical energy?

Do you not like the feeling of water on skin, brush on teeth etc?

Do you have really high standards of what you should look like and feel unable to meet them so don't want to bother with any of it?

I totally agree re clothes shopping, though, it's a bloody chore.

I'm sorry you feel this way. To me, there's nothing like the feeling of being squeaky clean from a shower and hair wash. It feels good to moisturize dry skin, get tangles out of my hair etc. I don't like being in fashion (although I vaguely keep up with trends), and I don't wear make up or heels. I get my hair cut twice a year, and have finally lasered away body hair I don't like. It must feel miserable resenting daily self-care, because either you do something you hate or feel guilty about not doing something you know you should do. You must feel thoroughly stuck every day :(

@MsCactus - me too with the sunscreen! I know it's necessary but some days I just think "oh fuck it" and don't bother. I hate doing that but it's so freeing! Then I spend the day trying to avoid being in sunlight or sitting by a window!

It adds an extra level of faff to a morning that I loathe but I know it's sensible.

Yeah I struggle with getting things done. I had the day off work today and had a list of things to do. Didn’t even make it to the shower until gone 1. Need to start dinner soon but there is still washing up to be done from last night. One of the things I meant to do first today. I’ve just not been able to get myself together. I’ve always been a bit like this. I don’t think it’s ADHD but I am easily distracted and a procrastinator.

I feel like this too OP. I also wear sunscreen on my face and neck (takes FOREVER to put on - I hate it) and makeup on top.

I let my long straight hair air dry so at least that's something I don't have to deal with.

Basically my entire 'get ready' routine takes 40mins to an hour. I hate it. When I'm not in the office I just sleep in my makeup from the night before and turn up on video calls with a 'beautify' setting on so people can't tell 🙈

I don't know what the answer is - but I feel you OP

I strictly keep to hygiene, but absolutely hate showers of any sort. It's got to be a bath or a sit down wash.
Standing in the cubicle under running water 😖
I often wandered what's wrong with me.
Otherwise, everything we are "forced" to do
is a challenge of a kind.

What do you mean when you say you are a professional mother?

Aww 🩷
I'm quite glam through the week (for work), but honestly, you should see me at weekends. I'm truly gross. My dressing gown of doom pretty much walked itself to the machine last night

Yes - I can relate to everything you've said. I don't go in the bathroom and pretend to shower, but that's because I live on my own! If I'm around my partner more often, I do shower more, on holiday for instance. But this is one of the reasons I couldn't live with anyone - the pressure to do all that would be too much.

I have routines around getting ready and it takes ages. I can't skip any of the parts as it would throw me off completely. It's bloody hard. Having to deal with everything the body requires - the maintenance. And yes, as you get older it gets harder. More effort is required.

I had a virtual phobia of the hairdresser. During lockdown I discovered the Unicorn Method of cutting your own hair and have now resolved never to go to a hairdresser again.

Totally understand where you're coming from. It must be even harder with a child, or children!

I’m like this. I have to make a bit of a hygiene effort for work but it’s a shower or bath and cleaning teeth. I find it uncomfortable but also have bills to pay and responsibilities. Weekends are my scruffy time.

My self care / wanting to shower and dress etc usually slips when I get anxiety or low days so I would definitely suggest talking to someone as well x

I think it's either something that therapy could help with and learning to value yourself.

Or it's worth looking into conditions that struggle with executive functioning type things or if it's a sensory thing that too. I'm not saying you have any of those conditions before people jump on and say "oh, there's always one that mentions ASD/ADHD straight away" but you might find some good coping techniques and ways to do tasks without making them a demand.

I have to push myself to brush my teeth or wash my face in the evenings. After a full day of working and being toddler mum, sometimes I’m so tired that self care feels like the last thing I can be bothered with.

Hair washes I can’t be bothered with but have to, I have long curly frizzy hair that takes ages to style. If I don’t style it it goes crazy lion vibes.

Getting dressed in the morning and picking an outfit, especially in the winter when it’s cold in the morning - brrrr I hate it!

All I will say is you’re not alone, but please try and prioritise self care even if it’s just 10 mins a day. You might have to push yourself but having a quick 2 min shower and washing your face can make you feel a lot better x