AIBU to think maybe some people just like this... or is it me??

I never dry my hair, I have one of those hair turbans that I put on and then I after a while I take that off and leave it to dry naturally. If it's still damp by bedtime I might wave the hairdryer at it

I do straighten it if I have to go out, otherwise it does it's own thing

I'm pretty sure I (and my daughter) have inattentive adhd and I can identify with this.

It tends to go hand in hand with low energy and overwhelm for me.

I'd recommend a book called 'smart but scattered' which talks about the executive functions. You can score and and see your stronger and weaker executive functions and it gives to tasks to improve them.

I'm much better than I was since I've had children and have found ways to force myself to do things - normally but doing them immediately ( or they risk dropping out of my mind or never getting done)

Before children I was the cliche of - putting a wrapper in the bin, finding the bin full, emptying but realising there is no space in the bin and no bin bags etc. Jobs sort of stacked and accumulated and it made me feel shame. Its no wonder its hard to start a job when that's your experience!

@anythinginapinch I understand your irritation and I would save myself some trouble by avoiding that kind of comment. However - there are few conditions that do not lie on a spectrum - both physical and mental and that includes cancer (to cut the long version short). Our mental and physical diagnoses do not 'cut nature at the joints' - we make categories and thresholds that we find medically meaningful mostly in terms of treatment. These things shift all the time.

I’m another one who relates to much of this. I also suspect I have ADHD. I haven’t been assessed but my DD is diagnosed with it, as is my maternal uncle.

I actually quite like showering but don’t like getting dressed or getting changed. I don’t like brushing my teeth and hate flossing so much that I mostly don’t bother, even though I really need to. Going to the hairdressers is something I manage twice a year and I hate it. I always decline the head massage as I don’t enjoy it. I don’t like clothes shopping and don’t enjoy fashion or style- I just don’t get it and I also don’t really care! So I just wear leggings and hoodies. I rarely brush my hair (it’s wild and wavy whether I brush it or not so really makes no difference as I have it back in a ponytail/claw clip 99% of the time). I can’t remember the last time I moisturised my body. I only do my face because otherwise my skin feels tight.

Everything feels like an enormous effort so much of the time.

Washing and drying my hair is the thing I hate, especially because it doesn't look that amazing at the end of the process.

I would shave it all off and get a wig, but I've heard they are just as much work to maintain .

I have felt this more over the past few years. Lately I’ve built up a wardrobe of really comfortable clothes to try to combat the not wanting to get dressed.

Trousers from Ninepine. Tops from BAM; some from Hush and White Company. Socks also from BAM- knickers and bra tops from Boody. Trainers from Allbirds.

These are my soft hug clothes that I wear most days. They look ok, but most importantly, they are soft and don’t restrict me in any way.

I've actually given up on dating, as I couldn't be bothered getting spruced up on my precious weekends.
If I die alone, so be it

No one has "a touch of adhd". Would someone have "a touch of cancer" or "a touch of Parkinson's" or "a touch of blindness"?

OP, are you chaotic inside your mind? Songs or words stuck in your head? Do you fidget tap feet play with your hair pick your nails. Do you have constant self talk? Are you on top of paperwork and lifemin? Do you run vv low on fuel, food, clean pants, medication? That's internal "chaos"

When you wrote this:
Finding clothes I like that are comfortable (paramount!) is hard
It suggested to me you might have some sensory issues, which would fit into being ND. Most people can wear most things and not think too much about it.

Both my mum and my sister wear jeans all day long. Whereas for me, the very idea of doing that makes me feel stressed! I can't fathom how that can be comfortable. I have outdoor clothes and indoor clothes and as soon as I come home I have to throw off my outdoor clothes and put on something soft and comfy.

Likewise putting off important appointments, like the opticians, I'm the same. But it's one thing to skip something like a haircut, which won't affect your health but your eyesight is important.

What, all of us?

Maybe we can get a group discount.

Sounds you’re in a freeze state, from a fight, flight or freeze reaction to trauma. If there’s any childhood abuse involved try some kind of trauma therapy

I was once given a spa day voucher as a present and asked them to return it. My absolute idea of hell.

Honestly, this thread has been a revelation. I've felt like this all my adult life and would never have believed that so many others could identify!
I hate getting ready so much, especially taking a shower and a spa day truly would be my idea of torture.
Hate the hairdressers, clothes shopping, any sort of beauty treatment. Just no.
It's interesting though, that even a couple of generations back, there wouldn't have been this emphasis of being super clean and well turned out every single day. Obviously I wouldn't want to go back to those days of the weekly bath etc, but I'd love to be able to get up and start the day without it taking so long.

It's so comforting to read it's not uncommon to hate getting ready! I thought everyone would be telling OP she must be depressed or whatever. I bloody hate getting ready for the day. Hate getting myself through the bathroom, never know what to wear, hate the hairdressers, have too many clothes that don't fit. To be fair, I feel better once I'm cleaned up and presentable but it's such an effort, wish there was just a button you could press and it was all done instantaneously.

I do it all but I hate it because it's such a waste of time and effort.

i also hate showers and taking my clothes off. I hate feeling cold and damp too. As you age, its so much harder to make yourself presentable, mainly due to skin not being lovely anymore.

i think back fondly to when i was a child and i could just get up, get dressed and go out. No faffing.

Try dry shampoo OP

Try to treat it like self care rather than maintenance

Is it the list of jobs? You mentioned routines. I think this can get repetitive and also overwhelming if you need to do this in a certain way every time. It could be adhd because there are a few poster on TikTok that mention this exact issue. There are apps that can help with prompts so it's not so mentally challenging.

I get what you mean in some ways. First thing in the morning, a shower is the last thing I want to do — and so I only shower at night, before bed, and moisturise after that. Take the pressure off yourself and find whatever feels natural and more easy and go with that

I've never acknowledged this before but I'm exactly the same re showering, dressing. Tasks others " just do"
I had a wet room fitted as I'm disabled
It's amazing and it should make a massive difference to my life... but I still keep putting it off
I definitely have executive function problems and struggle to actually start any task but after reading about coffee being soporific to a PP... That's me too