To want to tell friend how her son has treated my daughter…

I think she would do well to get a part time job, and join a feminism group at uni, and a sports team. She needs to learn there is more to life than him.

Female bashing? I do not see this - what is right is right - and there is nothing there that makes me see this guy has done wrong nor the female some victim of sorts.
Just a lot of immaturity - thats the worst of it

Stand down, stand down.

Part of life is loving and losing, and through that process we sharpen our women-senses. Experience and wounds replace nativity and blind trust. The better judgement we acquire earns an essential enhancement in our taste of men.

Let her live and learn. Your role is to be there to support her when needed.

She has OLD ahead of her with all of its non-exclusive, text based, accelerated, hyper-sexualised dating. What you describe with this boy is delightfully quaint and wonderfully 1989 in comparison!

How was she stranded then if she had means to get home, friend changes their mind (as they are entitled to do), goes off on his own, she calls a cab or calls you or public transport or whatever plan she had?

He didn't put her in that situation.

Your daughter is not a victim here.

Sitting around mithering about whether to/wanting to tell the blokes mum.

Stay out of it, both mentally in your own head or verbally

You're putting far too much responsibility onto him to manage your daughters expectations, feelings and practical matters like getting home.

@Watermelon212 okay so not ideal behaviour but certainly not the worst thing I've heard of on a night out.

Stranded in what way, was she not able tod call for a cab or call you?

She has a responsbility to make sure she can get home from anywhere, never rely on someone else.

OP Shes an adult

Shes fine - I know it is upsetting to know your kid has a heartache, but its part of adulthood sadly

I think people assume you may be meddling as you are talking of going to the boys mother to discus his wrongdoings - PS if you do this, you will at best, loose a friend - you could also put your own daughter at arms length and make her wary of discussing private issues with you

Your issue isn’t the boy but your daughter. She sounds naive and have low boundaries. Shore that up and you won’t have to worry about telling anyone how their son behaves unless they commit a crime.

@Watermelon212 did they explicitly agree they'd be going home together?

Honestly, if you came to me to tell me that my son had wronged your daughter in this way - it wouldnt go down well

Stop meddling or being involved, she is an adult and this is part of life unfortunately. People fall in and out of love or think they're keen ons omeone then realise they're not, then realise they're keen on someone else, round and round it goes

It will be painful for her and awful but there will be plenty more experiences like this, just be there for her.

This x 2

What has this guy actually done wrong, other than not fancy your daughter, OP?

Yeah he went off to have fun elsewhere, but was your daughter actually stranded and unable to get home?

With respect, given that you're hearing this from your daughter who possibly fundamentally misread the situation, you can have no idea if he 'encouraged' her sexual interest in him. If he did, well that's a difficult but ultimately useful lesson for your DD, something that has probably happened to us all at least once in our teens (and I genuinely feel for her -- we've all been there). It may well be that he was originally interested in her in sexual/romantic terms, but ceased to feel that way, or he realised the seriousness with which she was regarding it all, or didn't want to be her sole emotional support...? Or he didn't want to screw up her A-level year? I don't know, but there are perfectly possible ways of reading it which don't make him an utter bastard.

Your daughter needs to always have a safe way to get home without relying on another. That was rammed into in the 90s by my father.

In my opinion it isn't fair to blame him. She either is an adult able to get places independently or not. Of course young people hook up or head to after after parties. It happened in the 90s and happens today.

Can you have a chat or is there others who can give her a steer on the college and social norms because she may have a different perspective than a lot of young people.

Op your opening post I feel is disingenuous. He didn't place her in harms way, she was somewhere he did not accompany her home as agreed, she had options, ring a taxi, friend etc. He wasn't her boyfriend, I think you are being very unfair.

This, have they kissed?

It’s sounds like a potential lucky escape OP - he sounds manipulative and a bit of a user and hence not a great catch anyway . Some of that of course may just be his age only time will tell.

This is just part of growing up though , it was messy and sometimes hard in our day and I’m sure the fundamentals haven’t changed .

All you and Your other child can do is support her when it all cOmes out . It hard to know whether you can drop a hint somehow to help prepare her when it does come out .

I think I’d be suggesting she come home for a weekend of home comforts or having a weekend away to go see her and treat her