To be disturbed by Netflix 'Breeders'

Its certainly isn't the funniest thing I've ever watched but then the bear is meant to be a comedy, which has even less laughs

My Dad regularly reacted like this. Or least my memory tells me he did. There is a bit on one of the later series where his son remembers how angry his dad had got at his sister, totally bypassing how his Dad had helped him moments before. Which really brought it home to me, firstly that all parents get it right and wrong some of the time and that despite Dad's memory of the situation it was still the ragey part that his son has remembered.

If it disturbs you so much just don't watch it.

Arguably the Simpsons is a lot worse with homer constantly strangling bart but no one claims to be disturbed by that

Perhaps it has been mis-marketed to me then, as a comedy as I thought it was really souless and not funny. It would only take a few instances of the dad behaving like that IRL, for the mum or another adult to suggest therapy or something.

I watched the first series and thought it was unrelatable dross.

How do you feel about the Simpsons?
Considering homer regularly strangles Bart and is a raging alcoholic? Haven't watched breeders but I doubt it's worse than homer regularly asphyxiating his son.

Yes that's probably the issue it was sold as comedy and in the list of quite lighthearted comedy shows on my Netflix home page

And it didn't really hit that note for me at al. if they said bleak show tackling serious issue like abuse with some sweet lighthearted moments, I might have been less put out by it

Agree with much of what's been said already - it isn't a parenting manual, he is abusive and he is also excused for it IMHO.

But I'm on series 4 and it gets better (the other characters) but I don't feel that the MF character ever improves. That character is pretty much an example of how not to parent, ever.

And even if it's supposed to make us non-perfect parents feel better (we're all in the same boat at times), I would be horrified if anyone swore or screamed at any child in the way those 2 swear and shout at their kids.

I agree that in a lot of ways, by portraying this kind of parenting, it normalises the abusive behaviour, the shouting and swearing.

I tried not to swear in front of my kids, taught them that swearing is often/mostly inappropriate - how could they have learnt that lesson if I swore to the extent that these characters did?

It's the story of a dysfunctional father and how he fucks up his kids and his marriage. Although there are some funny (and sweet) moments in the series, his rage and abuse are not meant to make us laugh.

I haven't finished it but I do find it slightly uncomfortable viewing at times.

It reminds me a lot, tone wise, of Fawlty Towers. It is funny at times but also horrifying at the same time

I feel like OP and many of the PP’s maybe haven’t watched the whole series? Spoiler alert** he definitely faces consequences for his actions and the family is torn apart. We gave up watching it around then as it just got so sad and bleak and I found I was drained after watching it. I don’t think any of the sweary abusive bits are meant to be comedy or even relatable, it’s clearly a general lighthearted show but dealing with serious topics and he is shown in a negative light. I don’t actually remember it being that sweary but do remember that we are not invited to laugh at him losing it, those parts are meant to be sad/complex. It’s definitely a comedy-drama not straight up comedy.

And I agree. It is a drama, not a comedy.

Yes. This is a big part of the storyline.

Its not exactly a parenting manual

I relate the show much more to my upbringing than to my parenting and for that I am grateful it exists. I can also see some aspects of my family life and as a TV programme it seems to show the worst parts. I didn't feel it was suggesting these are every day occurrences. But they do happen and sometimes I feel that Mumsnet is a sanitised version of real life because there must be families that experience things on the show to some degree. I agree with pp that it needs to be watched until the end to fully get it.

i think part of the portrayal of the emotional abuse which is important is that Paul is aware that his shouting is harmful. He self talks that he doesn’t want to do it … and still he does. It’s really sad

Yes I felt he was validated for behaving like this. But guess maybe if I had persevered I would have seen it wasn't excused.

Yes agree, it needs to be watched to the end to get the full narrative

Would it matter if they had? They're in their late teens and I'm sure they're able to grasp the difference between fiction and reality. Unlike quite a few posters on here.

Totally agree. So much I didn't like it at all - stopped after a couple of episodes.

The poor behaviour just never challenged - it's made to seem as if it's normal and even validated. The dad's behaviour and way he shouts at the kids, minimises their fears, the woe is me attitude, is abusive .
The smug shrouded in middle class attitude - it wouldn't be a comedy if they were a working class family. Plenty of other horrible people and dysfunctional families in comedies, but none sat as uncomfortably with me as this one.

I read a piece about how he used his real life for inspiration, albeit an exaggerated version. He said something that since the show people have said to him that they don't feel bad about shouting at their kids. Just horrible normalising abusive behaviour.

I even feel more sorry for his ex wife if this is what she and their kids had to put up with.

Fawlty towers?

I said the same to DH, made me so angry watching the way they were towards the kids. I watched in the hope there'd be some revolution at the end, where he realises what an absolute he'd been and maybe that had been the point of it all...

So I watched it a while ago, so forgive me if I'm not 100% accurate, but my understanding is that as you watch the later seasons play out that MF's abusive behaviour has consequences when the son gets older and can advocate for himself. So everything you've said about Ally and MF is completely true, but there is accountability and acknowledgement that that behaviour was abusive and will effect their relationship for the rest of their lives.

My take on is that it's meant to trigger a part of you to think "oh yes, haha so relatable I remember when mine used to do that ... Oh no, no no that's unhealthy parenting. Now that's abusive and toxic" rather than simply reflecting normal family frustrations and humour back to you like Outnumbered would.